Friday, March 21, 2008

Red Tape Woes

My brother Steve has been having some bureaucracy issues. He lost his driver's license a while back, and he's been hacking through red tape to get it back. Here's an example of a conversation he had with a representative of the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Steve: Do you have everything you need?
DMV Lady: We got your money.
Steve: Did you get everything else?
DMV Lady: Well, you need to renew the contract on your interlock device.
Steve: I signed a contract for 13 months.
DMV Lady: You have to sign it for three years.
Steve: When did they decide that? I have my initial revocation letter right here, and it says a minimum of 12 months.
DMV Lady: Well, in your case it’s three years.
Steve: Was there a hearing? When?
DMV Lady: No, there wasn’t a hearing.
Steve: So how did they decide on three years?
DMV Lady: I don’t know. Would you like me to transfer you to the Hearing Department?
Steve: But you just said there wasn’t a hearing!
DMV Lady: I’ll transfer you to the Hearing Department. They can help you.
Steve: {Sigh}

Hold music

Recorded Message: All our representatives are busy at this time. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Hold music.

Hold music

More . . . hold . . . music.

Steve: Aaaaauuuuugggghhhh!!! $@^&!@*! {Hangs up, recalls original number and gets same DMV Lady.}

Steve: Okay, fine, how long do I need to have a contract for the interlock device?
DMV Lady: Two years and 30 days from today.
Steve: Excuse me?
DMV Lady: Two years and 30 days from this today.
Steve: But you just told me three years 30 minutes ago!
DMV Lady: Would you like me to transfer you to the Hearing Department?



2 comments:

Laurel said...

arghhh! I despise red tape. I also despise being on hold. Your brother has my condolences.

I also despise the post office, so I enjoyed your previous post as well. Insufficient address! hah!

Lea said...

I think therer is a county-wide conspiracy to drive our brother truly insane!