Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I Was Just Tickled Pink

On my iGoogle page, I have a word of the day. Sometimes it's one I know, sometimes it's something new. Today, it was "gimcrack."

Gimcrack: a showy but useless or worthless object.

Everytime I saw it, I thought it was gimicrack. You know, like give me crack?

And it did. It gave me a chance to CRACK UP!! (Buh-dum-chhshh)

*Examples of gimcracks

Saturday, April 26, 2008

If It's Timestamped After 10:00, It's A Serious One

I have a confession to make. I'm a hopeless romantic.

I try to pretend I'm not. Sometimes even I believe I'm not. I think it's because I'm not sure I really believe in "romance," at least not the kind that we read about in books and see on TV. I just can't believe that life can be that simple.

But I want to believe it.

Somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I still believe that one day I'll meet a man, and there will be swelling music and fireworks, and we'll just know. Sure, there will be obstacles (otherwise it would make a lousy plotline), but in the end, everything will work out in the most beautiful way possible because we're soul mates.

I don't even believe in soul mates.

Maybe I just plain watch too much TV Tonight I watched the last DVD of Season One of How I Met Your Mother. Ted has been crazy about Robin through the whole season, even though he's tried to get over her. Robin is crazy about Ted, too, but they can never seem to make it work. In the season finale, Ted goes to Robin and tells her he's crazy about her and wants to be with her, but he comes on too strong and Robin freaks out a little bit. She tells Ted that she's going on a company camping trip, where she's going to have dinner with a co-worker, the smarmy anchor of Metro One. Ted leaves, but refuses to give up. He asks an old girlfriend of Barney's to teach him a rain dance so Robin's trip will be canceled. Ted and Barney are on the roof of Ted's building, and Ted is dancing. Barney tells him it's not going to work, and Ted says, "I know it won't work, but I love her! So I know it won't work, but it has too, because we're meant to be together. Do you hear me, Universe? This is Ted Mosby speaking. Give me some rain! Come on! Come on!" And then it started pouring. Ted runs to Robin's apartment, and asks her to come down. She decides to go to him, opens the door, and he's standing there, soaking wet, and they fall into each others arms.

I really want to believe in that kind of romance. I want to so badly. It's not like I have any proof - things like that don't really happen to anyone. I think I just want to believe that kind of love is out there.

Maybe it's not healthy to believe in something that can't exist; or maybe believing in something as ethereal as romance gives us hope in a dreary world.

I don't have much hope in my dreary world lately. Even the thought of romance makes me sad, because I just can't see that happening for me, and I don't really want anything else (call me anti-feminist, but I don't want a career, I just want to get married and have kids). I'm trying to work on the obstacles to this goal, but it's all so overwhelming.

So, what's the verdict? Romantic, or realistic? Reason or hope? Am I kidding myself, or do people really fall in love? Is there still hope?

Friday, April 25, 2008

Me-me Thievery

I stole this from Jessie's blog, who stole it from Elizabeth's blog. (I don't acutally know Elizabeth.)

Twenty years ago I...
1) Was an adorable little girl with curly hair
2) Had 4 siblings living at home
3) Played at my Grammy's almost every day

Ten years ago I...
1) Had Mr. Hypio, my favorite teacher of all time, for English and Science
2) Could see the light at the end of the tunnel that was Junior High hell.
3) Gained my own testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Five years ago I...
1) Was living in 215 T Hall at BYU
2) Started seeing a counselor for the first time
3) Had my first boyfriendish type person

Three years ago I...
1) Lived in New Zealand for 4 months
2) Had my first major surgery; and ovary removed, along with an cyst the size of a cantaloupe
3) Met Jessie, my favorite roommate ever! (I love you, Jess!)

One year ago I...
1) Got fired from my first job
2) Moved back home
3) Got a puppy!!

So far this year I have...
1) Rediscovered blogging
2) Read a LOT of books
3) Started and gave up on a diet

Yesterday I...
1) Caught up on Jeopardy!
2) Downloaded David Cook's performance of "Always Be My Baby
3) Played with the dogs and their new toys

Today I...
1) Learned that a Mercury Mountaineer costs less than a Toyota 4Runner.
2) Discovered I lost my wallet, then found it at the grocery store
3) Got a good look at the grape-purple bruise on my hip from falling over in my chair yesterday.

Tomorrow I will...
1) Sleep in!
2) Help clean a very dirty house
3) Give my car a bath (it's seriously dirty)

In the next year I may...
1) Get out of debt!
2) Move away from home and get back to my life
3) Finally see Washington D.C.!

I have some interesting blog ideas floating around in my head, but I haven't had time to do anything with them. Hopefully this weekend!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

That's Gonna Leave a Mark

I was at work, chatting with a co-worker and doing something else, possibly work-related.

The folder containing the checks from my dog food deliveries was leaning against the file cabinet, just out of reach.

I reached out for them, leaning over in my chair. "Just a little farther," I thought.

Then it happened. I felt the center of gravity shift. "A little farther" had become too far.

"Uh-oh." CRASH!!

I fell out of my office chair. Not actually out, so much as over, still in it.

The crash was followed by frantic calls of "Are you okay?!?"

I laid there for a while, basking in my mortification and the mild pain ememating from where I had landed on the chair's armrest.

My witty response? "Whoops. That's gonna leave a mark."

Monday, April 21, 2008

Not again!

Remember this post where I freaked out because I found a gray hair (and I'm too bloody young for that)?

Today I pulled out three.


And that wasn't even the most traumatic event of my day. Close, though.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

American Idol

Not much time for a recap, but I did catch Idol this week, and I just have to say - David Cook's redition of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby"?


If he came out with an album right now, I'd be all over faster than a redneck on bacon.

Still snowing. It's like a snowglobe here, I swear.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Alaska Pictures

Lowman John Brown (L.J.)

Ashton and Aunt Betsy

Playing with blocks

Snowy snowy Alaska!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Alaska Update

My new nephew L.J. is perfect and adorable and divine.

My neice Ashton is funny and sweet and a kick in the pants.

My brother Sam is quite possibly the best husband and father in the known universe.

It snowed all day yesterday. Apparantly Alaska is unaware that April means it's spring.

I brought my camera, but forgot my drive to load pictures, so they will have to wait. The links will take you to pictures in other places.

Life is fabulous!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

A List of Things I'd Like to Tell You

1.) American Idol - hallelujah! How glad are we that this girl is gone? Answer - SO GLAD.

2.) Remember the snarky Post Office experience a while back? Well, a few days later, this came.

If you can't read it, it says, "Damaged by Mechanical Equipment. Please accept our apologies," followed by "Returned for Better Address." What do these people want from me?

3.) If you read Vintage Thirty, you might remember the post Tootsie Farklepants wrote about blue sheep butts. If you're about to click on that link, the good stuff is in the comments. I was reminded of this while putting inventory in at work recently. This is a product we carry that is used to determine when cows are in heat:

Let's just zoom in on that bottom corner, shall we?

Okay, seriously? How freaking funny is that? Just in case you can't quite figure out what this product is for, we'll illustrate it for you. And notice that it's two female cows. Actually, there's a reason for that, but it's funnier if you don't know it.

4.) You know how "Spring Fever" doesn't really refer to body temperature, but to a fit of looniness? Well, I had my first bout the other day. It involved singing a Primary song, complete with actions.

I looked out the window

And what did I see?
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise
Popcorn popping right before my eyes.

I can take an armful and make a treat
A popcorn ball that would smell so sweet
It wasn't really so,
But it seemed to me
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!

5.) So. Have you heard I'm going to Alaska? I'm kind of excited about it. I'm leaving in 2 1/2 days. Two days and 14 hours, to be exact. I might be outside of the blogosphere for a while, so try not to miss me too much. I know it'll be hard, but just do your best.

6.) You may recognize this little baby from my Christmas wish list.

Well, I bought one yesterday. It's just a silver one, because it was $65 cheaper than the colors. I am so not paying $65 just for red. This purchase was necessary because my ancient iPod Mini finally crapped out. Totally. No worko. And once you go iPod, you can never go back.

7.) And finally, in case you missed the memo, I'm about to go on kind of a big trip. I've got a four hour lay-over in Seattle. Can anyone recommend a really good book? I've been having a hard time finding one lately.

Hugs and kisses, Blogger friends!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Carlos Mencia: The Bee-ner Movie

Have you ever watched Carlos Mencia? If you haven't, you're missing out. He's on Comedy Central - his show is called "Mind of Mencia." He's a little crass. Okay, he's a lot crass. But he is freaking hilarios! He makes the most hysterical race jokes you've ever heard, but he makes fun of everyone, so it's not racism. Here's a clip.

A disclaimer for my more sensitive readers: This clip is mostly okay, but if you're easily offended, you should probably skip this post all-together.

Funny, no?

A few months ago, my Felicia and I were judging a speech meet, which acutally involves a lot more sitting around than judging. Neither of us had though to bring a book, so we amused ourselves doodling.

It was about the time The Bee Movie was in theaters. We combined Carlos Mencia and an animated Jerry Seinfeld, and this is what we came up with:

It's a little blurry, but I think you can get the gist. To get the full effect, you have to imagine each drawing as an animated, talking character. The cast: Beaner, Cracker, Oreo, DeeDeeDee, Nappy-Headed Ho, and the Midget.

Oh, man, I crack myself up. I crack Felicia up too. We really should have sent this in to Carlos. Maybe it's not too late.

Okay, seriously? I am funny as hell.