Good News and Good Friends (and the Fetal position)

I told you I would get to this post!

Here's my good news: I found a new job! It all happened rather suddenly, but I'm really excited about it. It's in the printing industry, and I think it will be something I really enjoy.

Here's the deal about good friends: I have so many of them! I'm so blessed. I got kinda screwed by a "friend" in college, and I've been a little more hesitant in making new friends because of it. Recently, though, my real friends have shown just how great they are. One friend, C, dropped everything and rushed over when the whole work fiasco went down. F has been friend helping my find a place to live (I'm actually moving into her house since she's moving to Alaska.) But the most generous gesture was made by an old friend, J. (Not you, JAE. This is a different J). J and I were the best of friends growing up. We went through a lot together. We went to different colleges, though, and we grew apart. It wasn't that we didn't care about each other, we just didn't make the effort to stay in touch. I didn't even get to go to her wedding (I was in New Zealand). Well, J and her husband and baby recently moved back to Western Colorado. When I told her I got a job and was moving to the same town, she selflessly offered to let me live with them. Rent free. Twice. I am still in awe and her generousity. It reminds me why good friends are good to have.

Things have really fallen into place, which is part of how I know this is the right move for me. I applied for a bunch of jobs and got the one I really wanted. I was able to find a perfect place in a great neighborhood for reasonable rent where I can have my dog. I have a place to stay the night before I move in, so I don't have to commute as much. I bought F's furniture for a steal, and since I'm moving into her house, we don't even have to move it!

I'm really excited for this new beginning. I never thought I would come back home, certainly never intended to stay for as long as I have; but I see know that I needed this time to re-center myself. I sort of forgot myself there for a while; who I am, what's important to me. I've been able to refocus on those things over the past year, and I feel ready to go back out into the world.

Honestly, though, I'm also freaked. Like, crawl under the covers in the fetal position and rock while calling for my mommy freaked. The last time I went out into the world, it was a total failure. Granted, I'm a lot closer to home this time, but I've never been good with change. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I know it's the right thing, that it's part of God's plan for me, but one thing I've learned is that just because it's what God wants you to do doesn't mean it's going to be fun.

So. To recap: New job, new place, half excited, half terrified.

Wish me luck! I'm going to go try to get my heart rate back to normal. "Everything will be fine, everything will be fine." Oh, don't mind me. Just giving myself a little pep talk. I'll be here if you need me. I'm the one rocking back and forth, muttering to herself.

Good News and Good Friends . . . Whoops, just kidding.

I've been planning this blog post in my head most of the day, but for some reason, I just don't have the oomph to write it. Which is weird, because it's gonna be a good one. Stay tuned.

So, in lieu (I love that word) of good news . . .

Things I Did Today to Avoid Work:

• Played 57 games of solitaire
• Read Vintage Thirty
• Checked The Tea Party Place (no new post, sad. Lauren must be too busy puking)
• Checked The Madame Queen (saw my link there again and blushed)
• Read It's a Mad Madge World
• Also checked June Cleaver Nirvana, Frantically Simple and The Pioneer Woman
• Blog surfed
• Googled "treatment for sprained ankle"
• Rescheduled OBGYN appointment
• Played with my new Facebook app, Flair
• Played with some super cute Corgi puppies
• Checked Craigslist for roommates and furniture
• Chatted with J
• Cleaned under my fingernails
• Picked at my peeling sunburn
• Checked my email 12 times
• Texted with L about lunch
• Read some stories on FoxNews.com (especially the one about the ex-astronaut who says aliens are real and the government is covering it up)
• Read about how Katy Perry's pastor parents are upset that she "Kissed a Girl"
• Wrote this blog
• Added a picture after the post was written; fought with formatting

Don't get me wrong, I worked too. Just not as hard as I could have. But hey, I'm not going to be here much longer anyway (Oooh, mysterious! Guess you'll just have to come back for the big reveal!).

And to my dad, who (whom?) I know lurks on this blog (that means reading without commenting, Daddy), just remember, I was working really hard before it all went to hell.

Gotta go, people. Things to do, solitaire to play.

102 Things You Never Needed to Know About Me

When I first started blogging regularly, I saw several "100 Things" posts. I like them because I think they give a great insight to the author. A while ago I decided that I would do "100 Things About Me" for my 100th post. When the time came, though, I wanted to blog about my birthday instead. So now, for my 102nd post,

102 Things About Me!

1. I'm the youngest of seven children by seven years. My oldest sibling is 20 years older than me.

2. I graduated from BYU with a degree in Recreation Management and Youth Leadership. It's pretty much useless.

3. I had the funnest major on campus.

4. I have several pet peeves when it comes to driving: People who don't use their blinkers, people who leave their blinkers on, and people who stop when there's no stop sign.

5. Top five musical artists: Mae, Norah Jones, KT Tunstall, Sherwood, Death Cab for Cutie.

6. I also like Hilary Duff. It's my hidden shame.

7. My very favorite movie is Under the Tuscan Sun.

8. Someday when we're rich, my best friend and I are going to take year long trip around the world. We'll hit Australia, New Zealand, Bali, Thailand, Italy, Belgium, Prague, London, Ireland and the Caribbean. I think that's everywhere.

9. I have a dog named Sadie. I think she's a boxer-border collie mix, but I'm not sure. I got her a Wal-mart.

10. I currently live with my parents. Don't judge me. I save a lot of money.

11. I work for an animal health store. I know nothing about animal health. I do, however, know about business, and I'm learning the other stuff.

12. My dad owns the business.

13. I would love to write a book someday.

14. I would also love to work in publishing (I'd like to be an editor), but I don't want to live in the city.

15. I studied abroad for a semester in New Zealand. It was the most amazing experience of my life.

16. My biggest regret is not spending more time with my grandmother before she passed away from breast cancer. I was only eight, and it scared me to see her so sick. Still, I've regretted it since the day she died.

17. If I believed in hell (which I don't, really), I'm positive that it would be Junior High. For eternity.

18. I believe that we make our own hell.

19. I believe in ghosts.

20. I think I believe in psychics. Not necessarily the tarot-reading, crystal ball kind, but I believe that some people see and sense things the rest of us don't.

21. My mom has told me stories about my great-grandmother, who used to meet with a group of people and try to move buttons with their minds.

21. I really miss college.

22. I'm a country girl, all the way. Well, as in, I like the country and I don't like the city. Not as in, I know how to artificially inseminate a cow.

23. I'm in love with David Cook from American Idol.

24. I've been para-sailing.

25. I can touch my toes to the top of my foot. I was 12 before I found out not everyone could do it.

26. My wisdom teeth came in when I was 15.

27. I still have my wisdom teeth.

28. I have four nieces and three nephews, and I'm totally crazy about them.

29. I can read a book in a day. It's not uncommon for me to read two in a weekend.

30. Some of my favorite authors: Jennifer Crusie, Madeline L'Engle and Jayne Ann Krentz.

31. I love books, but I'm not wild about "literature." I can appreciate it, but it's not my first choice. I'm all about cheesy commercial fiction.

32. In September, I'm going to the National Book Festival in Washington D.C., and I. Am. So. Excited.

33. I love love love road trips. I think it came from my parents and I always driving whenever we went on a trip. I learned so much on those trips.

34. I have an excellent sense of direction, and once I've been to a place, I can almost always get back.

35. I love the idea that there are myths that are true. Have you seen National Treasure? I wish that was real.

36. I was 22 the first time I was stung by a bee.

37. I've been to Disneyland 4 times. My favorite ride is Space Mountain.

38. The snake on the Indiana Jones ride? Scares the bejesus out of me.

39. I'm really afraid of snakes. I've tried to be tough about it, but I just. don't. like. them.

40. There is a drive-in in my hometown, and I love it. I go as often as possible.

41. I lived in Arizona for a year, and I almost roasted alive.

42. The backyard of the house I grew up it was, and still is, my favorite place in the world.

43. Growing up, my dad used to take me camping and fishing for my birthday every year.

44. I also went to a church camp every summer, and I was always annoyed by the girls who were all, "Eww, I'm dirty!" Duh. That's what happens when you sleep outside.

45. Words like "gonads" and "sperm" still make me giggle.

46. I got picked on a lot in junior high.

47. My favorite teacher of all time was Mr. Hypio. He taught 8th grade English and Science, and I totally adored him.

48. I never moved a single time before I was 18.

49. I've moved 11 times in the last 6 years.

50. I hate moving.

51. I'm starting a new job in 2 weeks.

52. Which means I'm going to be moving again.

Whew. Halfway there. This is harder than it looks!

53. I am terrible at standing up for myself. I'm great in my head, but in real life, not so much.

54. Sometimes watching chick flicks makes me sad.

55. I love Grey's Anatomy. My BFF and I talk about the characters like they're real people.

56. I also really like Private Practice, Eli Stone, Bones, NCIS, Ugly Betty, According to Jim . . .

57. I like TV. Can you tell?

58. It annoys me when people talk about people who like TV like they're lazy. I don't like TV because I'm lazy. I like it because I like stories.

59. I'm kinda lazy.

60. As the youngest child, I'm kinda spoiled. I'll admit it, but if anyone in my family says so, it makes me cry.

61. I've always wanted red hair.

62. I'm a sucker for boys with dark hair and blue eyes.

63. I'm not all that good with kids. I never had any little sibs, and I didn't do much baby-sitting. I want to be one of those people that just loves kids, but I don't really get them. They're just so small. And loud. And little.

64. I'm a big fan of musical theatre.

65. I was in a production of Evita my senior year of high school. I was a "Woman of Argentina."

66. I saw The Phantom of the Opera in London. Because I'll all cool and sophisticated like that.

67. The women in my family are the most amazing people I know. You might think I'm biased, but really. They're incredible.

68. I like trashy romance novels (well, tastefully trashy).

69. I'm kind of anal about proper word usage. I have to work really hard not constantly correct people's pronunciation or tell them they're using a word wrong.

70. I love Scrabble.

71. Scrabble is one of the only games I can beat my mother at.

72. My mom kicks my trash at checkers. Every time.

73. I like office supply stores better than clothing stores. But not better than shoe stores.

74. When I'm upset, I can go to a bookstore and just the smell calms me down.

75. I'm a totally different person now that I thought I would be five years ago.

76. I had a roommate in college who stabbed me in the back in the worst way, and I've never quite gotten over it.

77. I loved my time at BYU, but sometimes I wish I had gone somewhere else, just so that I didn't have to say I went to BYU. People who didn't go to BYU sometimes judge people who did.

78. I'm addicted to Daveto's, a restaurant in my town. I wonder if there's some kind of support group for that?

79. I love giving presents. I get a huge kick out of finding just the right gift.

80. I cannot draw to save my life. Even my stick figures are bad.

81. I quit piano lessons after about a year. I so wish that I had stuck with it.

82. Because students at BYU are required to live in approved apartments, all of which are furnished, I'm 24 and I don't own a single stick of furniture.

83. I'm pretty sure I've lived in a haunted house.

84. My favorite color is yellow, although I kind of just stick with that so I have something to say. I really like all colors.

85. I can't watch scary movies, because I'm a big wuss. I watched most of The Sixth Sense with my eyes closed, and it's not even very scary.

86. I watched part of IT when I was five or six. I didn't make it through. You know what got me? Fortune cookies turning into killer crabs.

87. I really want to learn how to quilt.

88. I crocheted a blanket for my brother one Christmas, and it got a little out of hand. I started it mid-October, and finally finished it at 3:00am Christmas morning.

89. I was in Sunshine Generation.

90. I snore. Loudly.

91. I love the water.

92. The first boy I made a fool of myself for was named Andrew. I was 14.

93. The last boy I made a fool of myself for was named Rob. I was 21. See item #77.

94. I really, really, really hope I'm over my "making a fool out of myself for a boy" phase.

95. Fish give me the creeps.

96. When I was a little girl, I would start snowball fights with my mom, and then she would pelt me with snowballs until I fell over laughing.

97. Someday I want to get a breast reduction.

98. The only spaghetti sauce I like is the one my mom makes. Otherwise I eat spaghetti plain.

99. I don't like milk on most cereals.

100. I'm addicted to Otter Pops.

101. With the exception of mascara (because mascara is the same everywhere) I wear exclusively MAC makeup on my eyes.

102. I have almost perfectly straight teeth, and I never had braces.

Whew! I did it! It was a lot harder to write than I expected. Hopefully it wasn't as hard for you to read. If you read all 102, congratulations! You now no more random things about me than you ever needed to. Don't you feel lucky?

Hello, Internets. Did you miss me?

Hooray!!

I finally have the internet at home again! You probably just thought I was neglecting you. Silly.

Moving created some problems for me, internet wise. First, my wireless card shriveled up and died. No problem, I thought. This new house has hookups all over! Mmm-hmm. Have you heard about how this new house is a disaster? Well, that's a story for another time, but for example; the cat 5 hookups that were supposed to be installed in the floors? NOT CAT 5. Regular telephone hookups.

Once I got a new wireless card, I discovered that I couldn't log onto the network because there is one of those fancy passkeys. I'm sure it's written down somewhere, but I dare you to find it in my Dad's office. If you go, you might want to take a sandwich and a compass, because it might be a while before you get out again.

Finally, in my infinite genius, I managed to hook MY wireless router into the original one, and BADDA-BING-BADDA-BOOM, I'm back in business!

I'm so excited. No more trying to get my hits of blogginess in between tasks at work. No staying late to write. I'm reading blogs from my bed. Yay!

Okay, here are a couple of things you should know:

I had a great interview for a new job this weekend. It went really well, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they offer it to me. It's perfect - full time but no overtime, no weekends, 8 - 5, decent pay, benefits after 6 months. Plus, it's in an industry that has always interested me, the people seemed great, and there are dogs in the office. Could it get any better? Keep your fingers crossed with me, okay? I need all the good vibes I can get.

Also, this is my 101st post. For my 100th post I was going to do something special, but I wanted to write about David Cook! And my return to the Internet! So I'll be doing something special for my 102nd post. I think. Maybe 103. But either way, keep yourself posted, because fun is coming your way!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I just returned the from best birthday adventure EVER!

Oh, you'd like to hear all about it? Well, sure, I'd love to share it with you.

Saturday morning, I took off for Utah, where I was going to spend my birthday with my great friend Jessie and her husband Jason. Aren't they cute? Don't they just look like so much fun?

I have to tell you, I had the best birthday. First, Jessie and I went to this great (and cheap) little place for pedicures. They did the whole deal - soaking, conditioning, trimming the cuticles, even a paraffin dip. The pedicurist even managed to scrape the calluses off my poor heels, which were starting to look like hooves.

I chose a pretty reddish-pink color for my toes.

Don't they look nice? I even sprung the extra couple of bucks for a flower.

In this close-up of my big toe, you can see said flower, as well as the dry skin that is screaming out for foot cream. Sorry.

After the pedicures, we went to my very favorite Utah restaurant, Cafe Rio. This was particularly nice of Jessie, since she doesn't actually like Cafe Rio. True friends go to restaurants they hate for their BFF's.

After lunch, we spent the afternoon kicking it at Jessie's parents pool. I swam without self-consciousness, laid in the sun, laughed at the SPF 8 sunscreen (SPF 8! Ha!) and got a little sunburned. It was bliss.

The next day we went back to the pool in the morning, where I applied sunscreen but still came out a little crispier than I would like. Ah well, pink is better that pasty white, right?

That evening was the main event, the American Idols Live Concert! Yes, I'm that much of a dork, and I'm not even ashamed of it. This concert rocked!

It was held at the E Center in Salt Lake, and it was packed!

Jessie and I were discussing the amount of people, and her dad said, "Pshaw! This would never hold a Rolling Stones concert!"

The concert was amazing! It started from 10 and worked up through the top ten Idols. When Chikezie came onstage, my first thought was, "Wow, he's a real person!" We had amazing seats too.

Here's Syesha - she was great, if a little scantily clad. But heck, if my boobs and legs looked that great, I'd probably show them off too.

And look! It's Micheal Johns in real life! He was probably my second favorite of all the performers. He had the crowd all worked up, too.

Oh, but wait for it! Here he is! The love of my life! The main reason I went to the concert - David Cook! Ohmigosh! I was like thisclose to him!! Of course he stuck his arm out right as I snapped the picture, but that's okay because his face is safe and secure in my mind. Do I sound like a stalker? Because I'm not, I swear. Perfectly normal celebrity crush. Really.

And here's a random picture of an arm. I don't know when this was taken. Probably as I tried frantically to get another picture of David after having lost all train of thought when he was so close.

After the killer concert, we drove home and I slept peacefully despite the ringing in my ears, and dreamt of singing, red carpets and David Cook.

The next day I drove home. It's about a five hour drive, but who cares when you get to look at scenery like this?

Seriously, I love my home. It's the best.

You may have noticed that there are no pictures of me on my birthday. Well, I took some, but not a single one turned out well. So here I am today - do I look older now that I'm 24? Not looking my best for sure. No makeup, hair pulled back, in desperate need of a bang trim. At least I only have one chin.

Happy my Birthday!

SPLAT!

Have you ever had the experience things just going all to hell? One minute things are great, life is good, and you're happy. The next minute, SPLAT! You've hit a wall. Probably one covered with mirrors, reflecting back the fact that your oh-so-perfect life is not so perfect.

I really hate SPLAT!s.

I had one recently. It's a big part of why I haven't been blogging. Remember the nasty Co-Worker? Well, when she quit, I found myself taking on a lot of extra responsibility. First it was just trying to divide her tasks so that everything got done. Then we hired a new person, and it was up to me to train her. On top of everything else I was doing. Putting in nine to ten hour days was the norm. I was okay with it, though. I felt useful, like I was really doing my best job; I was happy with life.

Then one day, my dad (aka THE BOSS) called me at the store.

"I hear you're being a terd. Knock it off!"

"What? I'm not being a terd! Who told you that?" At this point, I actually thought he was joking.

"Don't you defend yourself! I just got a call saying that you were being a brat and it's just like having The Redhead around again!"

It was at this point that I realized this wasn't a joke. One of my co-workers had actually called my father to tattle, rather than coming to me with a problem. I knew who it was, but I asked anyway. The response? "Everyone feels that way."

I was devastated. I felt (still feel, acutally) betrayed, unappreciated and confused. I had spent the last few weeks working like a maniac, making sure the place still ran. I was in the midst of what turned out to be a 12-hour-day. Worst, I had no clue as to what had gone wrong. I thought my co-workers were my friends. At least, I thought we were friendly. I had no indication whatsoever that they were the least bit unhappy with me.

What am I, psychic? Because if you don't tell me something is wrong, I can't fix it!

I'm still not sure which is worse - that they were all complaining about me behind my back or that instead of talking to me, they went to my dad. I can't help wondering what the heck I'm doing, living at home and working for my dad anyway.

I never intended to stay here long term, you know.

I've been here for a year, and even that's longer than I meant it to be. I ended up here because I was unhappy in Arizona, and I was getting ready to move back to Colorado. I was going to come home, live with the 'rents for a few weeks until I found myself a job and a house, then start my life over. I ended up living at home and working for my dad because he called me and said, "I need you to go home and work at the store. They're desperate for help." I thought, Really? He needs me? and I packed my car and left that week.

I've been thinking about moving on for a while now, but I never really did anything about it because I was happy where I was. In my prayers, I had said, "Okay, God, I know I'm supposed to move, so you just let me know when." This whole ordeal happened a couple days later. Hello, sign.

While betrayal wasn't my first choice as far as answers to prayers go, I'm starting to see the wisdom of it. Change is scary for me. It's scary for everyone to some extent, but it's hyperventilate, hide in the closet scary for me. Making a big change in my life takes a lot of courage for me, and that's something I seem to be in rather short supply of. However, now I'm just pissed.

Have you ever noticed how anger is a rather consuming emotion? It's kind of like pot. Unbridled and in large doses, it's dangerous; but in the right circumstances (like for cancer patients) it's acutally helpful. For me, the anger and betrayal is giving me the motivation to push beyond the fear.

So now I'm back where I was a year ago - unhappy, looking for a job and a place to live. Only now I have to find a place to live with a dog. I'm filling out applications, faxing resumes, making contacts; all the while thinking, Hmm. This all feels rather familiar.

And the kicker is, I'm terrified. Yeah, the anger is keeping me from just giving up, but it's definitly not getting rid of the fear altogether. New situations can be such a risk for me because of my depression. If they don't go well, it's not just a crappy situation that I have to endure for a while. It's hide-in-my-bed-can't-get-up-for-a-month-want-to-die, and I'm just not sure I can do that again.

I keep telling myself that having faith and courage doesn't mean that you're not scared. It just means that you keep pushing through. Sometimes I buy it; usually not.

But for now, I'm stuck at my old job, feeling like everyone here hates me. I know that probably not true, and I know it's my attitude making things uncomfortable for me, but it's awfully hard to pretend everything is okay around a bunch of backstabbing, immature liars! Ah. See, the anger has reemerged.

I'm still stunned from the impact. I'm seeing stars and rubbing my forehead, thinking "Where the hell did that wall come from?!?"

I so didn't see this coming.

Happy Birthday, America!

Look, I'm back! Did you miss me? We'll go into the reasons for my extended absence later. Today, I want to write about something else.

Happy Independence Day!

In honor of this, one of my favorite holidays, I'm stealing Jessie's 10 loves idea again.

10 Reasons Why I Love America

1. Freedom of religion. As a member of a religion that has been persecuted in the past, I am constantly grateful to live in a country where I, and others, are allowed to worship God as we see fit.

2. Upward (or downward) mobility. For centuries, and in many countries today, people were stuck in the class they were born in. If you were born a serf, you were never going to be a knight (was that a mixed metaphor?). Not in America. You can be born in the ghetto and grow up to be a millionaire.

3. Technology. Can you believe that there are still places with no running water? No flush toilets? Much less infrastructure, cars, cell phones or internet. I think we forget how blessed we are. I know I do.

4. Democracy. Sure, it has it's flaws (like lying politicians and year long campaigns), but it's miles ahead of tyranny, communism, monarchy, or dictatorship. We have options. Isn't that great?

5. Compassion. It's screwed up in a lot of ways, but one thing our country has going for it - we don't let our fellow countrymen suffer unnecessarily. You can see the evidence in Katrina, the flooding in the Midwest, the tornadoes nationwide. If someone is in trouble, we do what we can to help. That makes me proud.

6. Freedom of Speech. This goes along with democracy and freedom of religion, but there are still lots of places in the world were criticizing your leaders is simply not allowed. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to express my opinion, even if it is stupid.

7. Freedom of the Press. I know, I know, it's freedom of speech, but I'm grateful for it for different reasons, okay? We hear lots of complaints about how the press is corrupt, or leans one way or the other, but we're lucky to have a press that is semi-objective. Look at some of the corruption in government that the press has uncovered (Watergate, anyone?). The founding fathers intended the press to be the 4th branch of government; a watch-dog of sorts. What amazing foresight.

8. Variety and Diversity. I love that you can drive across America and see completely different climates, landscapes and cultures. We're all so different, but we can always come together when we need to.

9. The Armed Forces. I know that most countries have some sort of armed forces, but I have great love and respect for ours. I'm grateful that there are men and women who are willing to stand on the front lines to protect my right, and your right, to live in a free land. Maybe they're not all in combat, but they would all be willing to die for their country, and I'm eternally filled with awe and gratitude for that. Whether you respect the cause or not, you've gotta respect the bravery of those men and women.

10. The American Dream. Maybe it's not now what it was in the 1950's, but America is still a place where you can make your life what you want it to be. It's not easy, but it was never supposed to be. It's a blessing and a privilege to live in a nation where you can make yourself into whomever you'd like. It's why people keep coming here. Whether it's a white picket fence with a dog and 2.5 kids or a condo in the city with a Jag parked out front; if your willing to work for it, you can get it here.

So lets hear it! Three cheers for the good ole' US of A! Hip, hip . . . HOORAY! Hip, hip . . . HOORAY! Hip, hip . . . HOORAY!

Oh, one more thing. Did you know that there are actually three verses to The Star-Spangled Banner? Yep, it's true. Here are verses two and three:

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream;
And the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand
Between their loves home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
The conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust!"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

It's Scentsational!

Have you heard of Scentsy? It's a great product. It's a leadless, wickeless candle. They have a bunch of cute warmers and a ton of great scents. I'm having a Scentsy Party this Saturday. Check out the website here

http://www.scentsy.com/6782

Oh, the 80's.

I've been on an 80's music kick lately.

It all started with my friend H. She has CallerTunes on her cell phone, and it plays "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. After rocking out to it several times, I thought, "Gee, I like Journey. I should listen to them more often."

I set up a Journey radio station on Pandora. Have you met Pandora? She's great. It's this little little website where you enter an artist or song you like, and it plays music similar. The Journey station is like an 80's dance party, 24-7.

This morning I sat down at my desk and turned on Pandora. I was listening while working, and I noticed that a song by Whitesnake came on. Pandora shows the album art for the current song, and I noticed that Whitesnake seemed to look a little . . . well . . . odd.

I did a Google Image search of "Whitesnake" and this came up:

After my initial reaction of "GAACK" (that was me choking on my Corn Pops) and hysterical giggling, several comments came to mind."Does that guy really think that PINK shirt is enhancing his masculity? 'Cause to me it looks like he's just wearing it open to prove that he is, in fact, boobless." "Wow. Are the tough looks supposed to distract me from the hair?" "That guy in the back looks like his head exploded." But mostly, "Oh my gosh! Does Farrah Fawcett know these guys stole her hairdo?!?!"

I continued with my search, and I found this gem:

Oh, so much fodder here. The stretch striped pants with the chain belt? The Bedazzled pants? It's like Richard Simmons, David Bowie and early Sarah Jessica Parker on crack. And again, the hair! It's got to be a fire hazard.

I know it was the 80's. Hair was big, and pants were (apparantly) skintight. Plus, they're British. But still. And you thought you were embarrased by your 80's pictures!

I did a search for the lead singer of Whitesnake, David Coverdale. I found this:

Oooh, now he's mooching looks of Julia Roberts!

And this:

Hey! Now's he's moving in on my territory! I have those same bangs!

Anyway, my David Coverdale search led me to my new favorite website.

http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com

I'm telling you, this baby will provide hours of entertainment.

Breathing a Guilty Sigh of Relief

One of my co-workers quit her job on Monday.

It's made for a crazy busy week. I haven't been this busy in the entire time I've worked there. But I'm having so much fun!

There was some tension between this co-worker and the rest of us (understatement of the year). Okay, it was a lot of tension. Frankly, this woman wasn't very fun to work with. She's a great person - she's nice and funny and thoughful - but she's hell on a work environment. Since I'm the boss' daughter, she was nicer to me than everyone else, but I still fell victim to her condescending, control-freak ways on more than on occasion.

I have mixed feelings about her leaving. On one hand, hallelujah! I've noticed in the last week that even though I'm so much busier, I'm also enjoying myself a whole lot more. On the other hand, I'm sad that this is how it had to turn out. I'm sad that it got so bad she had to leave.

In some ways, I feel kind of responsible. I could have been more understanding, I could have tried to be more of a mediator. Instead, I got sucked into the drama and ended up complaining about her with everyone else. I should have stood up for my self and others when she treated us poorly. I kind of think she wasn't even aware she was doing it. Maybe she could have changed.

I doubt it, though. She's not really a change kind of person. So while I'm feeling bad, I'm also just barely resisting the urge to dance around singing, "Ding-dong, the witch is dead!"

Sure, I could take the high road, but where's the fun in that?

P.S. - Co-Worker, if you're reading this, I'm sorry things worked out the way they did. I wish only the best for you. I genuinely like you. But frankly, you're kind of a nightmare to work with. But I still love you! Just from a distance.

I Don't Know My Own Strength

I've been on a root beer float kick lately. I was scooping ice cream for my yummy treat, and pwing!

I found the other half of the spoon in the living room.

I guess I'm stronger than I thought.

Look Mom! I'm an M&M!

Why don't I have a nose?

Click here to make your own.

*Beware, it's addictive.

Whew!

Saturday was an eventful day for me.

I was supposed to be moving things into the new house, but instead I helped my brother drywall a beam. Have you ever drywalled? It's pretty intense. It's a lot of working over your head, with a lot of mud. Basically, that translates into having mud all over you. Here's an overview of the day.

I pulled staples out of the sheetrock because some idiot put them in the wrong place. I got lots of insulation in my eyes.

I helped hang sheetrock, which pretty much entailed holding the piece in place - more an an effort than you'd think, since I'm basically a midget.

I mixed drywalling mud with a tool that looked like a heavy duty eggbeater. Have you seen the cartoons where Goofy tries to use a jackhammer and ends up bouncing around because it vibrates so much? That's kind of how I felt. It was like whipping egg whites, only so much cooler.
I was too lazy to go downstairs and get another ladder, so I stacked two 4x4's on top of each other to stand on. Big surprise - I fell. Picture silence in the house, interupted by a loud crash, followed by "Ow!" The top piece rolled out from under me and I landed on the bottom one. My reaction (after "ow")? "Man. I should have seen that coming."

I learned that vaccuming plastic with a shopvac is a pain in the tuckas. It just sucks the plastic right up and won't let go. Apparantly you can use your hand as a block, but I couldn't get it to work all that well.

I was sitting on the floor, vaccuming with the shopvac (having given up on the plastic). I had the hose draped over my shoulder. The hose popped off of the attachment, and latched onto my hair. It just sucked my messy bun right in there. Picture squealing a writhing while I tried to reach the whole before it sucked up my whole head.

The best part of the day? Breaking a board with my hand. Okay, so it was sheetrock, which isn't the toughest material, but it still made me feel cool. I even said, "Hee-YAH!" Yeah, I showed that sheetrock who's boss.

Where do these people come from?

Do you ever look at people and wonder about their story? I know I do. I like to imagine that they were the nerd in school, or wonder about how they met their spouse, or where they work.

Sometimes you see people who really spark the imagination; other times there are people who defy it.

Like this woman.

This is Cowpie Pattie. She's a familiar face in my community. I also often refer to her as, "The Crazy Guitar Lady." She stands on corners and in parking lots, holding her homemade cross aloft, strumming her guitar (one handed, so tunelessly) and singing made up songs about Jesus. And sometimes, politics.

I often wonder what happened to turn Pattie into Cowpie Pattie, the Crazy Guitar Lady. I know she has some kind of mental illness, but according to my former-social-worker mother, she wasn't always this crazy.

I'm pretty sure she lives in her car. I could be wrong, but she has an awful lot of stuff packed into that car.

She has several different guitars. The one she's using in this picture (you can't see it) is simple and black. My favorite is her purple Hannah Montana guitar. It really provides an excellent backdrop for her made-up religious songs.

None of that answers my question, though. What happened to her? Was there something traumatic in her childhood? Did she have a severe allergic reaction to heartbreak? Did she lose a loved one? Or is it just the mental illness?

This is actually a picture of Cowpie Pattie's reflection in my rear view mirror. I noticed her in the parking lot, but I couldn't bring myself to actually stop and take her picture, just so I could make fun of her on my blog.

Although, now that I've actually written it, I realize it's not so much making fun of her, as being saddened by the state of her life.

Sorry, Pattie.

Driving: One Big Pet Peeve

I have a teensy bit of road rage.

I wouldn't even call it "road rage," really. It's more than all of my pet peeves seem to center around driving. I'm not going to get out of my car and bludgeon anyone. I'm just going to yell. From inside me car. Where no one can hear me, except my passengers (why do they always looks so scared?).

Now, don't try to pretend that you're one of those driving saints. I know better. Come on. Admit it. You know that you've been caught shouting, "Come on, Grandpa!" or "Go, you idiot!"

So just to make you feel better, I'll tell you my pet peeves about driving.

• People who don't use their blinkers. What am I, psychic?

• People who use their blinkers, but then don't turn them off. Are you moving over? Yes? No?

• People who turn their blinkers on three turns before the one they're acutally going to take.

• People who follow too closely (being rear-ended three times in as many years might have something to do with this). Here's a hint. If I can't see your headlights, you're TOO CLOSE!

• People who speed through my small town. Just because you're driving through doesn't mean you can go 40 miles an hour.

• People who are speed, etc. in places that they know are dangerous. Yes, guy who came hurtling around the blind curve by McDonald's, I'm talking to you.

• People who don't wait their turns at stop signs. Just because the guy in front of you went doesn't mean you can too.

• People who take forever to pass, even though you're clearly going much faster than they are. Hello, Utah roadblock (also know as Mexican roadblock).

• The stupid Meadow Gold trucks that block the road by a main intersection. They don't even have anyone directing traffic. And when you get your butts sued off, I will laugh. Bwaa-ha-ha-ha! Like that.

As a funny aside: A good friend of mine was getting ready to go on a mission, and we went to a movie. When she picked me up, I noticed she had pictures of Jesus plastered all over her car. Seriously, all over. There were at least six of them. I said, "Um, Katie? What's the deal with all the Jesus pictures?"

She blushed and said, "Yeah . . . I kind of have a problem with road rage. I'm working on it."

"Oh. Is that working for you?"

"Move it, you moron! Not really."

P.S. - If you're wondering why the bullet points are so unevenly spaced, it's because I got in a fight with the bullet point button. I lost. And now I can't get a space between this line and the last. Damn Blogger.

I'm So Mad I'm a Muggle!

If you've read the Harry Potter series, you're probably familiar with the Pensieve. For those of you who aren't, it's a magical instrument that Professor Dumbledore frequently uses. It's a bowl filled with a shiny substance that looks like molten silver. The liquid is actually memories. The user extracts a memory using magic (although I pictured it being much less painful) and then places it into the bowl. When the user would like to retrieve the memory, he merely looks deeply into the bowl, and is transported back into his memory in real time.

I really want a Pensieve. There are a lot of really cool magical things in Harry Potter, but if I could choose one, it would definitely be the Pensieve.

Dumbledore uses his because he's seen so much and he runs out of room in his head. I would use mine to get rid of the pesky memories; the ones that make you cringe.

I've been having a lot of those lately. Unfortunately, it feels like most of my memories are the kind that make me cringe, although that's probably because nearly 50% of my life is still made up of awkward teenage years. Still, there's nothing I hate worse than being pounced on by a memory that makes me ill just to recall.

If only I had a Pensieve, I could siphon of all those lousy memories, put them in the bowl, and put the bowl in my closet to gather dust. Isn't that really where all those memories should be anyway? Gathering dust?

My life would be so much easier if only I weren't a Muggle.

Adventures in (and around) the Workplace

On Friday I was downstairs working the counter when a customer came in. I was helping another customer, so this man asked if he could use the restroom. I directed him to the facilities and continued to help the customer in front of me. The gentleman came down just as I finished with the first customer, and I asked him if I could help.

As he was explaining his needs, I got a whiff of something that smelled suspiciously poop-like. Let me clarify: the store I work at is two stories. The "store" is downstairs, and the offices and restroom are upstairs. I could smell this guy's bathroom experience clear downstairs. I couldn't look him in the face. It was all I could to do keep from yelling, "Dude! What did you have for lunch? Have you no shame?"

He didn't need much, so I helped him pretty quickly. As he was walking out, Nikki, a co-worker, came into the store. I noticed she had a strange look on her face. As soon as I heard the man go out the door, I said, "Oh my gosh, Nikki! That guy! He used the bathroom and I can smell it clear down here!"

"I could smell it when I came in the back door!" Nikki exclaimed. "What did he do up there? I wonder if he opened the window."

"I don't know, but I'm afraid to go up there."

"Is Cissy up there?" Nikki asked, refering to another co-worker.

I felt my eyes go wide. "Yeah, she is. I hope she's still alive!!"

Nikki braved the wave of poo-stench and went to open the window. I heard hshe and Cissy talking, and I heard Cissy say, "Yeah, I thought I should spray in there, but I wasn't brave enough." Apparantly we're all indimidated by poo-stink.

When Nikki came downstairs, I asked, "Is she okay? Was she concious? Seizing?"

Another good friend and customer who had been in while the Great Pooping Customer was there came back in to find us in a fit of giggles with both doors open to let in the chilly breeze. When we told him the story, he said, "Oh, thank God! I didn't want to say anything because I thought it was one of you girls, and someone was sick or something. Man, that was BAD!"

***
And now, for adventure number two (but not that kind of number two):

One of my bosses buys a lot of lotto tickets. What's more, he actually buys winning lottery tickets, on a fairly regular basis.

I'm not much of a lotto player. I bought one when I turned 18, just because I could. I've bought a couple since then. But Lee makes it look so easy! He comes in and says, "I got another $300 scratcher last night!" and before I know it, I've got lotto fever.

I can usually manage to resist the urge until it passes, but sometimes, you've just gotta scratch the itch. Today was one of those days. After lunch (I took my 10-year-old nephew out for lunch for his birthday. Am I the coolest aunt or what?) I stopped at the convienience store to pick up a soda, and I caved. I bought two $1.00 tickets, with no allusions whatsoever that I might win. I knew I was throwing my money away.

I sat in my car outside the store and scratched away. I needed three matching amounts to win. $20 . . . $50 . . . $500 . . . $500 . . . $20 . . . $500 . . . wait! What??? I stared at the ticket in utter disbelief.

"Holy crap." I could feel my heart thumping. Five hundred dollars! I just won five hundred dollars! Visions of the stuff I could buy with the money started dancing through my head as I scratched at the amounts more, cleaning it up so the clerk would have no question about my astounding luck.

$500 . . . Hah! . . . $500 . . . Wahoo! . . . wait, what's this? Why am I seeing more? There's not supposed to be anymore. $2,500?!?!? WTF????

And just like that, my hopes, dreams, and beautiful red furniture vanished into thin air. "Stupid freaking lottery," I grumbled.

When I got back to work, I blamed Lee, telling him he's a bad influence on me; I never bought lotto tickets before he started bragging.

He took it pretty well. I guess he's used to it. Lucky bugger.

I Was Just Tickled Pink

On my iGoogle page, I have a word of the day. Sometimes it's one I know, sometimes it's something new. Today, it was "gimcrack."

Gimcrack: a showy but useless or worthless object.

Everytime I saw it, I thought it was gimicrack. You know, like give me crack?

And it did. It gave me a chance to CRACK UP!! (Buh-dum-chhshh)

*Examples of gimcracks

If It's Timestamped After 10:00, It's A Serious One

I have a confession to make. I'm a hopeless romantic.

I try to pretend I'm not. Sometimes even I believe I'm not. I think it's because I'm not sure I really believe in "romance," at least not the kind that we read about in books and see on TV. I just can't believe that life can be that simple.

But I want to believe it.

Somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I still believe that one day I'll meet a man, and there will be swelling music and fireworks, and we'll just know. Sure, there will be obstacles (otherwise it would make a lousy plotline), but in the end, everything will work out in the most beautiful way possible because we're soul mates.

I don't even believe in soul mates.

Maybe I just plain watch too much TV Tonight I watched the last DVD of Season One of How I Met Your Mother. Ted has been crazy about Robin through the whole season, even though he's tried to get over her. Robin is crazy about Ted, too, but they can never seem to make it work. In the season finale, Ted goes to Robin and tells her he's crazy about her and wants to be with her, but he comes on too strong and Robin freaks out a little bit. She tells Ted that she's going on a company camping trip, where she's going to have dinner with a co-worker, the smarmy anchor of Metro One. Ted leaves, but refuses to give up. He asks an old girlfriend of Barney's to teach him a rain dance so Robin's trip will be canceled. Ted and Barney are on the roof of Ted's building, and Ted is dancing. Barney tells him it's not going to work, and Ted says, "I know it won't work, but I love her! So I know it won't work, but it has too, because we're meant to be together. Do you hear me, Universe? This is Ted Mosby speaking. Give me some rain! Come on! Come on!" And then it started pouring. Ted runs to Robin's apartment, and asks her to come down. She decides to go to him, opens the door, and he's standing there, soaking wet, and they fall into each others arms.

I really want to believe in that kind of romance. I want to so badly. It's not like I have any proof - things like that don't really happen to anyone. I think I just want to believe that kind of love is out there.

Maybe it's not healthy to believe in something that can't exist; or maybe believing in something as ethereal as romance gives us hope in a dreary world.

I don't have much hope in my dreary world lately. Even the thought of romance makes me sad, because I just can't see that happening for me, and I don't really want anything else (call me anti-feminist, but I don't want a career, I just want to get married and have kids). I'm trying to work on the obstacles to this goal, but it's all so overwhelming.

So, what's the verdict? Romantic, or realistic? Reason or hope? Am I kidding myself, or do people really fall in love? Is there still hope?

Me-me Thievery

I stole this from Jessie's blog, who stole it from Elizabeth's blog. (I don't acutally know Elizabeth.)

Twenty years ago I...
1) Was an adorable little girl with curly hair
2) Had 4 siblings living at home
3) Played at my Grammy's almost every day

Ten years ago I...
1) Had Mr. Hypio, my favorite teacher of all time, for English and Science
2) Could see the light at the end of the tunnel that was Junior High hell.
3) Gained my own testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Five years ago I...
1) Was living in 215 T Hall at BYU
2) Started seeing a counselor for the first time
3) Had my first boyfriendish type person

Three years ago I...
1) Lived in New Zealand for 4 months
2) Had my first major surgery; and ovary removed, along with an cyst the size of a cantaloupe
3) Met Jessie, my favorite roommate ever! (I love you, Jess!)

One year ago I...
1) Got fired from my first job
2) Moved back home
3) Got a puppy!!

So far this year I have...
1) Rediscovered blogging
2) Read a LOT of books
3) Started and gave up on a diet

Yesterday I...
1) Caught up on Jeopardy!
2) Downloaded David Cook's performance of "Always Be My Baby
3) Played with the dogs and their new toys

Today I...
1) Learned that a Mercury Mountaineer costs less than a Toyota 4Runner.
2) Discovered I lost my wallet, then found it at the grocery store
3) Got a good look at the grape-purple bruise on my hip from falling over in my chair yesterday.

Tomorrow I will...
1) Sleep in!
2) Help clean a very dirty house
3) Give my car a bath (it's seriously dirty)

In the next year I may...
1) Get out of debt!
2) Move away from home and get back to my life
3) Finally see Washington D.C.!

I have some interesting blog ideas floating around in my head, but I haven't had time to do anything with them. Hopefully this weekend!