On my iGoogle page, I have a word of the day. Sometimes it's one I know, sometimes it's something new. Today, it was "gimcrack."
Gimcrack: a showy but useless or worthless object.
Everytime I saw it, I thought it was gimicrack. You know, like give me crack?
And it did. It gave me a chance to CRACK UP!! (Buh-dum-chhshh)
*Examples of gimcracks
I have a confession to make. I'm a hopeless romantic.
I try to pretend I'm not. Sometimes even I believe I'm not. I think it's because I'm not sure I really believe in "romance," at least not the kind that we read about in books and see on TV. I just can't believe that life can be that simple.
But I want to believe it.
Somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I still believe that one day I'll meet a man, and there will be swelling music and fireworks, and we'll just know. Sure, there will be obstacles (otherwise it would make a lousy plotline), but in the end, everything will work out in the most beautiful way possible because we're soul mates.
I don't even believe in soul mates.
Maybe I just plain watch too much TV Tonight I watched the last DVD of Season One of How I Met Your Mother. Ted has been crazy about Robin through the whole season, even though he's tried to get over her. Robin is crazy about Ted, too, but they can never seem to make it work. In the season finale, Ted goes to Robin and tells her he's crazy about her and wants to be with her, but he comes on too strong and Robin freaks out a little bit. She tells Ted that she's going on a company camping trip, where she's going to have dinner with a co-worker, the smarmy anchor of Metro One. Ted leaves, but refuses to give up. He asks an old girlfriend of Barney's to teach him a rain dance so Robin's trip will be canceled. Ted and Barney are on the roof of Ted's building, and Ted is dancing. Barney tells him it's not going to work, and Ted says, "I know it won't work, but I love her! So I know it won't work, but it has too, because we're meant to be together. Do you hear me, Universe? This is Ted Mosby speaking. Give me some rain! Come on! Come on!" And then it started pouring. Ted runs to Robin's apartment, and asks her to come down. She decides to go to him, opens the door, and he's standing there, soaking wet, and they fall into each others arms.
I really want to believe in that kind of romance. I want to so badly. It's not like I have any proof - things like that don't really happen to anyone. I think I just want to believe that kind of love is out there.
Maybe it's not healthy to believe in something that can't exist; or maybe believing in something as ethereal as romance gives us hope in a dreary world.
I don't have much hope in my dreary world lately. Even the thought of romance makes me sad, because I just can't see that happening for me, and I don't really want anything else (call me anti-feminist, but I don't want a career, I just want to get married and have kids). I'm trying to work on the obstacles to this goal, but it's all so overwhelming.
So, what's the verdict? Romantic, or realistic? Reason or hope? Am I kidding myself, or do people really fall in love? Is there still hope?
I stole this from Jessie's blog, who stole it from Elizabeth's blog. (I don't acutally know Elizabeth.)
Twenty years ago I...
1) Was an adorable little girl with curly hair
2) Had 4 siblings living at home
3) Played at my Grammy's almost every day
Ten years ago I...
1) Had Mr. Hypio, my favorite teacher of all time, for English and Science
2) Could see the light at the end of the tunnel that was Junior High hell.
3) Gained my own testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Five years ago I...
1) Was living in 215 T Hall at BYU
2) Started seeing a counselor for the first time
3) Had my first boyfriendish type person
Three years ago I...
1) Lived in New Zealand for 4 months
2) Had my first major surgery; and ovary removed, along with an cyst the size of a cantaloupe
3) Met Jessie, my favorite roommate ever! (I love you, Jess!)
One year ago I...
1) Got fired from my first job
2) Moved back home
3) Got a puppy!!
So far this year I have...
1) Rediscovered blogging
2) Read a LOT of books
3) Started and gave up on a diet
Yesterday I...
1) Caught up on Jeopardy!
2) Downloaded David Cook's performance of "Always Be My Baby
3) Played with the dogs and their new toys
Today I...
1) Learned that a Mercury Mountaineer costs less than a Toyota 4Runner.
2) Discovered I lost my wallet, then found it at the grocery store
3) Got a good look at the grape-purple bruise on my hip from falling over in my chair yesterday.
Tomorrow I will...
1) Sleep in!
2) Help clean a very dirty house
3) Give my car a bath (it's seriously dirty)
In the next year I may...
1) Get out of debt!
2) Move away from home and get back to my life
3) Finally see Washington D.C.!
I have some interesting blog ideas floating around in my head, but I haven't had time to do anything with them. Hopefully this weekend!
I was at work, chatting with a co-worker and doing something else, possibly work-related.
The folder containing the checks from my dog food deliveries was leaning against the file cabinet, just out of reach.
I reached out for them, leaning over in my chair. "Just a little farther," I thought.
Then it happened. I felt the center of gravity shift. "A little farther" had become too far.
"Uh-oh." CRASH!!
I fell out of my office chair. Not actually out, so much as over, still in it.
The crash was followed by frantic calls of "Are you okay?!?"
I laid there for a while, basking in my mortification and the mild pain ememating from where I had landed on the chair's armrest.
My witty response? "Whoops. That's gonna leave a mark."
Remember this post where I freaked out because I found a gray hair (and I'm too bloody young for that)?
Today I pulled out three.
THREE.
And that wasn't even the most traumatic event of my day. Close, though.
Not much time for a recap, but I did catch Idol this week, and I just have to say - David Cook's redition of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby"?
Amazing!
If he came out with an album right now, I'd be all over faster than a redneck on bacon.
Still snowing. It's like a snowglobe here, I swear.
My new nephew L.J. is perfect and adorable and divine.
My neice Ashton is funny and sweet and a kick in the pants.
My brother Sam is quite possibly the best husband and father in the known universe.
It snowed all day yesterday. Apparantly Alaska is unaware that April means it's spring.
I brought my camera, but forgot my drive to load pictures, so they will have to wait. The links will take you to pictures in other places.
Life is fabulous!
1.) American Idol - hallelujah! How glad are we that this girl is gone? Answer - SO GLAD.
Have you ever watched Carlos Mencia? If you haven't, you're missing out. He's on Comedy Central - his show is called "Mind of Mencia." He's a little crass. Okay, he's a lot crass. But he is freaking hilarios! He makes the most hysterical race jokes you've ever heard, but he makes fun of everyone, so it's not racism. Here's a clip.
A disclaimer for my more sensitive readers: This clip is mostly okay, but if you're easily offended, you should probably skip this post all-together.
Funny, no?
A few months ago, my Felicia and I were judging a speech meet, which acutally involves a lot more sitting around than judging. Neither of us had though to bring a book, so we amused ourselves doodling.
It was about the time The Bee Movie was in theaters. We combined Carlos Mencia and an animated Jerry Seinfeld, and this is what we came up with:
It's a little blurry, but I think you can get the gist. To get the full effect, you have to imagine each drawing as an animated, talking character. The cast: Beaner, Cracker, Oreo, DeeDeeDee, Nappy-Headed Ho, and the Midget.
Oh, man, I crack myself up. I crack Felicia up too. We really should have sent this in to Carlos. Maybe it's not too late.
Okay, seriously? I am funny as hell.The first step in a really excellent Happy Dance is having something to be excited about.
For example:
This is my brother.
Surprise of the Night
Michael Johns
After weeks of skating by on his good looks and Australian accent, this guy ROCKED IT last night! He finally found his groove with "We Are the Champions."
I'm Torn
David Archuleta
This kid is crazy talented, but sometimes I just don't know. He sang some unknown song, and while it was good, it was a little cheesy. Simon said it reminded him of something you'd see at an amusement park with animated characters. It reminded me of We Are The World.
Both my parents have a hard time getting around.
My dad has had both of his hips replaced, and he had this weird problem with is ankles that makes it hard for him to walk. He has to wear braces that come half-way up his leg just to walk around during the day.
My mom has been limping badly for the last few months. After several doctors appointments, she was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, and condition in which the spinal cord narrows and pinches the spinal cord.
Both of them have a hard time reaching their toes. Their bodies just don't move like that anymore.
Yesterday morning, I was up early (earlier than I needed to be, not early) making brownies for Easter. From my parent's room, I heard my dad say, "What did you need done, ma'am?" Mom's voice doesn't carry as well, so I heard some mumbling from her.
The next thing I heard was click! snap! clip! I realized that my dad was clipping my mom's toenails for her, since she couldn't reach them herself.
That's true love, people.
My brother Steve has been having some bureaucracy issues. He lost his driver's license a while back, and he's been hacking through red tape to get it back. Here's an example of a conversation he had with a representative of the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Steve: Do you have everything you need?
DMV Lady: We got your money.
Steve: Did you get everything else?
DMV Lady: Well, you need to renew the contract on your interlock device.
Steve: I signed a contract for 13 months.
DMV Lady: You have to sign it for three years.
Steve: When did they decide that? I have my initial revocation letter right here, and it says a minimum of 12 months.
DMV Lady: Well, in your case it’s three years.
Steve: Was there a hearing? When?
DMV Lady: No, there wasn’t a hearing.
Steve: So how did they decide on three years?
DMV Lady: I don’t know. Would you like me to transfer you to the Hearing Department?
Steve: But you just said there wasn’t a hearing!
DMV Lady: I’ll transfer you to the Hearing Department. They can help you.
Steve: {Sigh}
Recorded Message: All our representatives are busy at this time. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.
Hold music.
Hold music
More . . . hold . . . music.
Steve: Aaaaauuuuugggghhhh!!! $@^&!@*!
Steve: Okay, fine, how long do I need to have a contract for the interlock device?
DMV Lady: Two years and 30 days from today.
Steve: Excuse me?
DMV Lady: Two years and 30 days from this today.
Steve: But you just told me three years 30 minutes ago!
DMV Lady: Would you like me to transfer you to the Hearing Department?
We had another huge flier go out last week. Don't even ask me about that. It was a nightmare, combined with annoying coworkers (okay, coworker) and a heck of a lot of money. Oooh, I'm mad just thinking about it. The point is, it took up almost all of my time last week. I was folding those stupid fliers at home.
These fliers are our main system of advertisement, and we send them to our customers as a bulk mailing through the Post Office. The other day, this came. I can't imagine what they would possibly find wrong with this:
Is it me, or is that just the slightest bit snarky? Look at that finger pointing to nothing. You can practically see "Stupid!" written underneath. Some smart-ass at the USPS thought they were being funny. Lucky for them, I find both smart-assness and irony highly amusing. In fact, I would be interested to know if the person who stamped it saw the irony, or if they just did it because of procedure. If it's the former, I'd like to be their friend. If it's the later, they're seriously missing out.
On an entirely different note, something happened the other day that reaffirmed my decision to move back to Colorado. I knew I made the right decision, and I was so glad to be back home, but I've been restless lately. I was coming down the hill on the way to work and I saw this:
It's not the greatest picture, seeing as how it was still mostly dark and all, but you get the drift. It was the most spectacular sunrise I've ever seen. The sun coming up over the Rockies - that's why I live in Colorado.
It also got me thinking. How often to we miss beauty because we are too wrapped up in ourselves. I came so close to missing this amazing sunrise, because I was busy thinking about my life, my day, my dog, my family . . . me, me, me. Sure, it's just a sunrise, this time. But how many times to we miss the beauty of a child, or one person doing good for another? Do we really notice it? It reminds me of the John Mayer song, "3x5".
Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'.
And strange, how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
Are next to mountains anyway.
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I could see the world through both my eyes.
Maybe I will tell you all about it
When I'm in the mood to lose my way.
But let me say,
You should have seen that sunrise
With your own eyes.
It brought me back to life.
You'll be with me next time I go outside,
Just no more 3x5's.
Okay, it doesn't apply quite as well as I thought it did, but I still think there's an important message there. Maybe if we open our eyes more, we'll witness more of the beauty around us.
Last night was the worst episode of American Idol this season. The Beatles two weeks in a row? What were they thinking?
None of the performances were spectacular. I think the contestants used up all their spectacular last week, with the exception of David Archuleta, who used no spectacular last week, unless you define spectacular as forgetting the lyrics. He did much better this week, with McCartney's "Long Winding Road," but still no fireworks.
I thought the best performances of the night were by Chikezie (who, I'm convinces, uses only his first name because his last name is utterly unpronounceable) and Syesha.
Chikezie sang "I've Just Seen a Face." He started out slow and ballady, but kicked it up and turned it into a bluegrass number. He also played a harmonica, which was a ridiculous attempt to be like everyone else in the instrument department. The slow part didn't do much for the performance, but once he got into it, I thought it was a lot of fun.
Syesha was the best performance of the night with an amazing performance of "Yesterday." It was heartfelt and beautifully sung. Plus, her dress was great. Simon said it was the song Brooke should have sung, which I felt was rude of him, especially when Syesha did such a great job.
Honorable mentions also go to Carly Smithson with "Blackbird" and Brooke White with "Here Comes the Sun." Both of them got flayed by the judges, but I thought they were both great. Carly actually only got flayed by Simon, who thought the message of the song was bad, but it was good to hear her sing a song ballad instead of belting it with her big fat voice. Brooke's performance was, admittedly, not her best. She kind of flailed around in her dancing, but it was clear she was having fun, and that was infectious. She took the criticism of the judges with incredible grace, even going so far as to agree with Randy when he said she was a little awkward. "Yeah," she said, "I am a little awkward when I move."
I'm torn between Kristy Lee and Ramiele for who should go home. Neither of them are that great, but at least Kristy Lee has been bringing her best to the table. Ramiele's just not doing it for me. And I'm still made David Hernandez was kicked off. Stupid America.
**Photos are, as always, from last week.
I spent practically all of Thursday night like this. Only I didn't look this good. Trust me.
Stupid freaking flu. I realize now how all those people died from it in 1918. They literally puked their guts out.
And because I'm a dork, I feel the need to point out that the Flu Epidemic of 1918 was acutally the Spanish Influenza, an extreme strain that's no longer around. I'm kind of embarrased that I know that.
Anyway, I'm better and my co-worker is back from her vacation, so work won't be so crazy. I'm back, and I'm stress and puke free!
You know you're excited.
1. "I'd like to make an offer on the house. This is what I can pay, minus the work on the place, and a rental car to drive off a cliff when this all turns out to have been a terrible mistake."
Answer: Under the Tuscan Sun
2. “...Perky breasts!”
“Roberta, you know I don't like it when you swear."
“Chrissy, breast is not a dirty word.”
“I can't hear you.”
“Breast.”
“Can't hear you.”
“Breast.”
“Can't hear you.”
“BREAST!”
Answer: Now and Then
Solved by Laurel
3. “Yeah, this is where it fell. Or, if you want to get really specific, up there is where this weird bloody necklace came and knocked it out of the heavens while it was minding it's own business. And over there is where it landed. And right here... this is where it got hit by a magical flying moron.”
Answer: Stardust
Solved by Jessie
4. “I found you in hell. Don't you think I could find you in
Answer: What Dreams May Come
5. “She's like the air to me.”
Answer: A Walk in the Clouds
6. “I'm no friggin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?”
Answer: Moonstruck
Solved by Laurel and Jessie
7. “Men develop appetites when they are twelve, muscles when they are sixteen, and principles only after they are married.”
Answer: If a Man Answers
8. “And now, my beauties, something with poison in it, I think. Something with poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell. Poppies... Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleep. Now they'll sleep!”
Answer: The Wizard of Oz
Solved by Jessie
9. “I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's MOST unusual.”
10. "What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."
Answer: It's a Wonderful Life
Solved by Laurel and Jessie
11. "Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
Solved by Sara
12. "1.21 gigawatts? 1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!"
"What the hell is a gigawatt?"
Solved by Jessie
13. "It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights."
Answer: The Italian Job
14. "Are you nuts? She clearly prefers gas pump jockeys to millionaires. What do you want to do? Disillusion the poor girl?"
Answer: How to Marry a Millionaire
15. "Joel, hide me in your humiliation!"
Answer: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Solved by Jessie
And by "losers," I mean lost the competition, not as a reflection of personal worth.
Finally! This guy just drove me nuts. I was worried that the 13-year-old-girl vote would keep him in there, but the 13-ers made the right choice.
Ah, Luke. I was so torn about you. You're so cute, with your strong-jawed, dimpled scruffiness, but you just weren't that good. Not that you were bad, you just weren't as good as you could have been. I wanted to like you. I really did.
NNNNNOOOooooooo! She was my very favorite girl. I'm devastated. Okay, I'm not devastated, being as it's a TV show and all, but I am disapointed. I didn't think she would win, but I would have loved watching her for a few more weeks.
