Things Every Woman Should Know

My sister sent me an email containing this "poem," attributed to Maya Angelou.

Every Woman Should Have:

Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.

Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A youth she's content to leave behind.

A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

One friend who always makes her laugh, and one who lets her cry.

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A feeling of control over her destiny.

Every Woman Should Know:

How to fall in love without losing herself.

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder and when to walk away.

That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.

What she would and wouldn't do for love or money.

How to live alone, even if she doesn't like it.

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

Where to go - be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods - when her soul needs soothing.

What she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.

[Editors note: I made some changes in the format; mainly puncuation. The person who originally formatted it must have has some kind of obsession with ellipses.]


After doing some research, I discovered that this list was not actually written by Maya Angelou, but rather by Pamela Redmond Satran. It was originally published in Glamour under the title, "30 Things Every Woman Should Know & Have By The Time She's 30."


Here are some of the original items that are not on the previous list (read the complete original here).

Things a Woman Should Have:

Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

The belief that you deserve it.

A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.

Things A Woman Should Know:

How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.

The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.

That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

And because Maya Angelou rocks my socks, here's something that was written by her:

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou & Pamela Redmond Satran

Just for Lea

Marilyn

VS.


Nicole

Seeing Through Society's Eyes

Living in the Valley of the Sun, as I do, I have heard a lot about Jordin Sparks. She was on the front page of the newspaper after she won American Idol. Hometown girl makes good, and all that. I'll admit, I didn't really follow this season of AI. I did, however, watch enough to be familiar with Jordin.

There has been a lot of hometown support for Jordin, from all over - TV news, radio, newspaper. So you can see why, on Wednesday morning, I was reading the "Arizona Living" section of the Arizona Republic, and I was disappointed by what I found there.

There was a feature on the front page of the section entitled "Jordin vs. Blake: Why s/he will win," written by Randy Cordova. It gave two lists of ten reasons why Jordin/Blake would win American Idol. The article itself was fine; it actually favored Jordin rather blatantly. It was a comment within the article that I found disturbing.

Number 4 on the list of why Jordin would win: "Jordin is showing America that being zaftig is nothing to be ashamed of. After all, here is a full-figured girl who has no problem going sleeveless on national TV. That confidence only makes her more attractive, not to mention a great role model."

Now, I think it's great that Mr. Cordova is pointing out a critical flaw in our society: the idolization of an unrealistic female figure. My problem with his statement is that rather than dispelling such a notion, Mr. Cordova has fed into it. See, the thing is, Jordin Sparks is hardly zaftig.

Let's take a look.



"Full-figured?" Are you kidding me? This girl isn't "full-figured" (which, face it, is just a euphamism for FAT). She's curvy and voluptuous and exactly what a woman is supposed to look like. I would kill to have that girl's curves, I bet most women would, and I bet men find them pretty freakin' attractive. But instead of just pointing out that she's gorgeous, Mr. Cordova felt the need to refer to her as "zaftig."

Well, screw you, Mr. Cordova.

Here's the truth, as I see it. It's true that we are fighting a battle against obesity in this country. Heaven knows, I could stand to shed a few pounds. It's also true that millions of women worry about constantly worry unnecessarily about their weight because our society has developed an unhealthy image of what is "attractive."

There was a time that "full-figured" women were more considered to be more attractive than skinny women; there are cultures where that is still true today. Women are curvy for a reason. They carry more weight around the hips to protect a child that might grow inside them, and to bear that child. They are soft so that they can comfort that child when he's tired, hungry or scared. The fact is, you're not supposed to be able to see a woman's ribs.

So let's review:


REAL WOMAN


STARVING AND PROBABLY CRANKY WOMAN

We clear?