The Musings of a Wandering Mind

The Christmas Season

2009-12-23T09:21:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

I know it's been a ridiculously long time since I've blogged, but I couldn't let my favorite holiday go by without a shout-out to my blog friends.

Christmas is easily my favorite time of the year. I love the lights, and the snow, and the music, and how everyone is a little nicer and a little happier. I love giving presents, and I love getting presents.

Most of all, I love how hearts seem to turn to the Savior at this time of year. I know mine does. For me, Christmas is about salvation. We celebrate the birth of a baby in a manger because that baby would eventually suffer and die for our sins, and for our infirmities. We celebrate His birth because of His life.

At this season, I am eternally grateful for the priceless gift of salvation. I have been blessed to have a sure knowledge of God's love and His eternal plan. He has continually blessed me, far above what I think I deserve. I see His hand everywhere in my life. But mostly, He is always there for me in times of trial or heartache. He is always by my side, lending a helping hand. He provided a way for me to return to my Heavenly Father. What greater gift is there?

May we remember the blessings of our Savior during this Christmas season, for He truly is the reason for the season.

No More Plastic!

2009-07-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Today is my 25th birthday.

It's been a good day. I went to work, where they bought me a birthday cake. I got a pedicure, thanks to the gift certificate given me by a good friend. Now my toes look freaking adorable. I went to dinner with my mom and dad.

The best part, though, is the present I got from my mom and dad. I've been eating off a plastic table with two plastic chair. Not the most classy thing. The other day I found this on Craigslist:

And only $65, which is a total steal!

Check out the detail on the table:

And the chairs:

Don't you love it? Isn't it adorable? It's so me. And now I don't have to eat off plastic anymore. Except maybe plates, if I don't feel like doing dishes . . .

Thanks Mama and Daddy!

Lazy Days

2009-05-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

Today I was driving down a side street in town and I passed a little boy dressed in a Spiderman costume, riding his bike with his dad.

I miss the summers of my childhood. Heck, I miss the summers of my college days.

When I was little, I would spend the summer going to swimming lessons and the library, reading on our roof and playing outside. The backyard of the house I grew up in is still my favorite place in the whole world. I would ride my bike into town and stop at the Dairy King for a slushie on the way back.

When I was in college, summers were for playing. One summer my frineds and I went campng every weekend. My roommates and I watched movies, made fro-yo runs and had friends over. It was a time for laying out in the park, going to the pool and enjoying life.

Summer isn't quite the same now that I'm a full-fledged adult. I still enjoy the long days and warm nights, but it doesn't have the same carefee quality it used to have. I can't stay out late because I have to work the next day. I can't spend the day at the pool because I have to spend the day listening to copiers run (I'm worried about toner lung).

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I'm lucky to have it, and I enjoy my days. I just miss the days of dressing up like Spiderman and riding your bike with Dad.

Update

2009-05-22T10:06:00.001-07:00

Saw a line of cars whizzing past Mensa Man this morning. When I passed him I said, "You have GOT to be kidding me!"

Mensa Man

2009-05-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

Most of my pet peeves regard driving. One of them is people who go under the speed limit. If you go the speed limit, I'm ok. If you go a couple under, I'm ok. If you go five or more under, I'll start twitching.

There is this guy that I seem to run into a lot along the main road by my house. I know it's the same guy because he drives this little white car with a Mensa bumper sticker. I call him Mensa Man.

Mensa Man drives 10 miles under the speed limit wherever he goes. The speed limit is 45? Mensa Man is going 35. There's a dozen cars piled up behind him while other whiz past him? Mensa Man doesn't care. He's sticking with his five under.

You'd think with his high IQ and all, he'd be able to read and understand the speed limit signs.

Now every time I'm behind a line of cars going under the speed limit, I think, "Mensa Man must be up there." I see the super smart son of a gun everywhere!

The opposite of Mensa Man is this:

I saw this driving home the other day (don't worry I just pointed the camera out the window and then cropped the picture). At first glance, it looks like any regular biker, but if you look closely, you'll notice the thin, shapely legs and the hair flying from under the helmet. It's a biker chick, and I only dream of being as cool as her.

Mensa Man probably doesn't even dream. He probably grumbles and shakes his fist when she rides by. Mensa Man just doesn't appreciate coolness.

This Time I'm Not Making Any Promises

2009-05-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Once again, it's been forever. Maybe the problem is that my life is just too boring. I'm hoping to change that this summer.

Last weekend I went to the Grand Junction Arts and Jazz Festival with my BFF Felicia.

She was working the festival, so we just wandered up and down the street. I checked out the goods, and she asked people for their zip codes and got blown off.

There was a lot of amazing stuff there! My favorite was the blown glass. There were several vendors with all different styles. I bought this blown glass pendent from an amazing mother-daughter team.

The daughter blows the glass and the mother makes necklaces. The mother has cancer, and when they found out she was going to lose her hair, her daughter learned to do henna. Now she does henna tattoos all over her mom's head every month.

There was also the most amazing photographer there. Here's a sample of his work.

Downtown Grand Junction has a program called Art on the Corner. There are different sculptures all up and down Main Street. There are a lot of great ones, but this one was my favorite. The picture doesn't really do it justice.

So that's what I've been up to. I want to say I'll write agains soon, but I'm not making any promises!

I'm Baaaaack!

2009-03-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I said that last time.

Just give me a minute to explain. I swear, there are mitigating circumstances.

The first problem was that my laptop up and died. There I was, catching up on my blogging (reading, not writing) and poof, it just stops! I took it to the geek squad to see if there was anything they could do and their verdict was that it was beyond hope and I should just let it go. Let's just say that put a definite cramp in my blogging style. I'm up and running and back online now, so I can't use that as an excuse anymore!

The biggest problem has been me. Remember the Depression Post? I've been there again. Have I ever mentioned how much I really HATE THE WINTER? I hate and loathe it. Anyway, I'm mostly back now. Here's how I feel about that.

The Hallalujah Chorus was supposed to be here but blogger had issues with
the html code. Stupid Blogger.

Don't listen for too long. After about two and a half minutes they get off key.

The moral of the story? I've been bad. I'm getting better. I've been really blessed this round, as much as anyone who can't get out of bed can be. I promise I'll try to blog more.

xoxo,
Betsy

Miracle of Miracles! A Post!

2009-02-15T20:51:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in an embarrasingly long time.

I'm ashamed of myself.

Part of it is because winter tends to be a hard time for me, and I'd rather curl up in bed than type. Part of it is that I've been pretty busy. Mostly, though, I just haven't had much to say.

But this has been the best week ever! And I wanted to share with my bloggy friends.

Reasons this was the best week ever:

1) Went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" with one of my friends. We were BFFs growing up, but we went to different colleges and sort of lost touch. We're living in the same town now, and we get together once in a while. The great thing is that it's not awkward at all. It's like we've just picked up where we left off. That's a true friend. Plus, the movie was super funny.

2) I finally broke the 20lb mark! I've been flirting with it for months, but the holidays really threw me off. I didn't gain any weight, but I lost momentum. I have officially lost 21.4lbs, which means I'm back on my way.

3) I got a(nother) raise! That makes three in six months. I so totally rock. When the boss called me in, I thought I was in for it, but he just gave me more money, and one of the best compliments I've ever had. He and the manager both said they had never given that many raises in the short of time. Ever. Seriously! I SO TOTALLY ROCK!

4) With the raise also came paid time off. I don't recall that ever being discussed when I started. I get 3:20 every pay period. I've never had PTO before! I have a real job!

5) I decided I wanted to celebrate my raise with some friends. I was concerned because I don't really have any here, but I made a few calls, and some girls came over to eat pizza and watch a movie. I haven't hung out with friends in ages, and it was so fun!

6) I got Pablo's Pizza for free. Pablo's is this amazing gourmet pizza place here, and it's a little pricey. I was willing to spring for it in celebration, but when I got there to pick up my order, they had no record of it. I had to wait about 15 min while they cooked it, but they gave me the pizza for free. Heck, I'll do just about anything for free pizza.

7) This is possibly the best one, tied with the raise (have I mentioned that I rock?). There is this guy I've been hanging out with lately. He's . . . I can't think of one word to sum him up. He's smart and funny and kind and witty and handsome and tall and has the sexiest forearms I've ever seen. He's a little out of my league at the moment (and for the next 50lbs or so), but we have a lot of fun together and I was hoping we could be friends. I've called and texted him a couple times in the last couple weeks, but I didn't hear anything back. After watching "He's Just Not That Into You" I was convinced that he just wasn't that into me. Today, I found out that he lost his phone a little while back! It's the best news I've heard all day! He wasn't avoiding me! He was actually thinking about me! And then the clouds parted and angels sang the Hallelujah Chorus.

I hope you have as great a week as I did.

Introducing . . .

2008-12-14T18:33:00.001-08:00

This is my Big Sister.

Isn't she cute? This is kind of an old picture (as you can see by the date stamp) and she's not usually this blonde. But trust me, she's cute.

I adore Big Sister. I look up to her. She sets and excellent example for me. On of her qualities that I admire the most is her ability to see the best in things. She always seems to be happy, or at least content, even when life isn't so great. She's all about "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

Now me, I'm more like, "Lemons? I don't need any freaking lemons! I need a boyfriend! What the heck and I supposed to do with stupid lemons?"

Ahem. Sorry about that. Momentary outburst. We were talking about Big Sister.

This is Big Sister and her husband, Brother-in-Law Numero Dos. We'll call him J for short. Or should we call him BiLND? Or #2? Hahaha! #2. Get it? I crack myself up.

Anyway, the only time I really remember Big Sister not being content was when J was out of the country for two years. The last six months, she wouldn't even talk about him. She pined for him. They've been married for 4 1/2 years now, and she's still all stupid over him. It's pretty cute, when it doesn't make me puke.

Big Sister and J have also been trying to get preggers for quite a while. They've had some trouble, with no apparent reason. They've tried all sorts of treatments with no luck, and recently decided to give in vitro fertilization a try. We'll find out around Christmas how successful it was.

Big Sister also recently started a blog, "Que Sera, Sara?" (Isn't she clever?) You can read about her IVF experiences here.

Drop by and say hello. And send lots of baby thoughts their way!

She's Just so Cute!

2008-12-13T22:11:00.000-08:00

I know I promised a real post today, but I'm putting it off until tomorrow. For today, here are some pictures of the most adorable dog on the face of the earth. And she's mine, all mine! Bwah-ha-ha!

She's a little camera shy. It's hard to get her to look.

What? Why must you pester me so?

Fine, take the stupid picture. Go ahead, show me off to all your friends. If you must.

Seriously?

Zzzzzzzz . . . . Snnnooorrrkkk!

This is what happens after I get up in the morning. I let her out, get her some food, let her back in and get in the shower. When I get out, she's sacked out again, all snuggled up in my spot!

And she actually does snore. Sometimes it keeps me awake.

I'm not kidding.

Update

2008-12-12T16:58:00.001-08:00

I know I've been horrible about blogging, when I clearly implied I would be blogging every day this month. I promise a better update soon (like tomorrow) and I have a list of my kind deeds, but I needed to share this fabulous information.

My pants are too big! Today, I wore my freshly washed jeans, and I was able to take them off without unfastening them. Just, whoosh!

I think I need to invest in some belts.

Where Am I Going, and Why Am I in This Handbasket?!?

2008-12-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking lately about the world we live in.

Generally, I'm an optimist. I know there are bad things out there, but I can usually focus on the good in the world; the good in people. Lately, though, I seem to be overwhelmed by the bad.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten the good, or given up on it. I know there are great, beautiful things about the world. I know people can be kind and loving and generous.

But there's so much bad too.

It seems like people have no moral code anymore. They don't expect there to be consequences for their actions. It's all so hedonistic - "Do what makes you happy, don't worry about others." I'm not just talking about the big stuff like murder and robbing banks. It's the small stuff that bothers me.

People have affairs.
They give up on their marriages.
They betray their friends, they hurt their families.
People steal from their employers.
They're dishonest.
They speak of freedom and tolerance, but are intolerant.
People kill their babies, when there are so many who want a baby to love.

My thoughts on liberalism and abortion are fodder for another post, but you see where I'm going. It's that people think only of themselves, of what's going to benefit them.

I often feel like the world is lost. I feel like we've lost our sense of purpose. And I remember how blessed I am to know the things I know, to understand my purpose. The world can be a scary place, filled with confused people. I hope that when it comes time to fight for what's right, I'll know I'm on the right side.

I drive past a church every day on my way to work. The other day, after this had all been weighing on my mind, the marquee said this:

"In a changing world, we can trust God's word."

Truer than they know.

-----
P.S. - Kind deed for 12/5 - I invited a co-worker to join me for a spinning class at my gym, which she just joined.

Kind deed for 12/6 - I invited my roommate to come with some friends to the Parade of Lights.

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

2008-12-04T19:29:00.000-08:00

I've been swimming since I can remember. In fact, I can remember my first bathing suit. It was a two-piece blue and green plaid with ruffles around the top and the waist. It was freaking adorable. And the only bikini I've ever worn. I could get away with it when I was two and cute.

I took swimming lessons every summer, usually with my best friend Katie and her brother Justin. After a while Katie and Justin joined the summer swim club, which met for practice at 6:00am. Even at 10, I valued my sleep and was like, "No freaking way!" My mom still made me take lessons, though, on the basis that it was good exercise. In high school, I was on the swim team for two years, and I worked as a lifeguard.

I've always loved swimming. I think part of it has to do with how graceful I feel in the water. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm decidedly ungraceful on land. Seriously. Anybody. But in the water I'm smooth and light. I also like the feeling of being all alone. When I swim, it's just me and the water. I don't worry about anyone else. In fact, I don't even think about anyone else. Usually.

Even though I was always chubby growing up, I never let that keep me from swimming. I loved it too much to let the opinions of a bunch of stupid people keep me from doing it. In the last 50 pound or so, though, I started to let it get to me. I never swam anymore. For a long time, I didn't even own a bathing suit.

When I decided to get serious about losing weight, I decided I would start swimming again. I'll admit that it was hard at first, and not just because of the suit. Swimming is hard, I tell you! I thought I was going to die there for a minute. But it got easier, and it became more fun. It's still hard, but it's relaxing too.

So I've been swimming twice a week for a while now. I always go after work, and the pool used to be dead at that time. I've even been the only one in there before. Now, though, there's always a bunch of people. I'm thinking maybe the people who exercised outdoors when it was warmer switched to swimming for the winter? I'm not sure, but I always seem to have to share a lane now.

That brings me to my kind deed for the day : I offered to share my lane with another swimmer, even though I hate sharing a lane and she was all geared up and I knew she would leave me in her bubbles. Luckily, she was nice enough not to lap me too many times.

That's not really my point, though. My point is that today (and Tuesday) the pool was FA-REEZ-ING! Sure, pools are always a little chilly when you first get it, but you warm up once you start moving, right? Not here. I swam half a mile, and at the end, I was still cold. It was like swimming in tap water! Brrrr.

The really annoying part about it was that I called before I went to make sure the problem was fixed! The girl on the other end told me the problem had been resolved, and yet, I had to thaw out in the sauna afterwards (and this dorky teenage boy came in when I was in there - awkward!). I stopped at the front desk on my way out to talk to someone about it, and the girl was a complete brat. I said that I had called, and the girl said, "Yeah, we got the parts in today and it was fixed today, but it takes a day or so for it to get back up to temperature." I said, "Well, you shouldn't tell people it's fixed if it's not." And she said, "Um, it is fixed." All snotty-like. So I said, "But it's still freezing, so it's really not." Get this. She rolled her eyes at me and said, "Fine, it's not."

That brings me to my second kind deed for the day. I barely refrained from leaping across that counter and slapping Miss Prissy McSnotty-pants silly. It was an exceptionally charitable act, if you ask me.

Man, nothing makes me madder than lousy customer service.

One benefit of all this swimming I'm doing is that my suit seems to fit a lot better. The girls aren't spilling out anymore. In fact, the girls don't spill out of anything anymore, hallelujah. And my clothes are all getting too big. I keep stepping on the hems of my pants because they're too long now that they waistband sits on my hips. I keep pulling them up, and it makes me feel like a gomer. Hard to complain about that, though!

So, even as I drug myself shivering through the frigid waters (okay, that's a slight exageration), I was still pretty proud. I even finished off with my handstand. I always do a handstand at the end of my workout. It reminds me to have balance in my life. Plus, it's the only playing I get to do. And it makes me feel graceful.

Then I went in the sauna until my teeth stopped chattering.

December 3

2008-12-03T20:31:00.000-08:00

At the end of today I realized that I didn't do anything that was so much kind as not mean. I'm kind of embarrassed about that. Anyway, my thing is that I made an effort to make friendly, involved conversation with my roommate that drives me nuts. I usually go back and forth between ignoring her and wanting to kill her, so it was kind of an effort. Still, doesn't seem especially kind, does it?

Tell me you did better.

Random Acts of Kindness and Sensless Acts of Beauty

2008-12-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

In church this week we discussed kindness. We talked about how we could use kindness to bring our congregation closer, about how being kind is a key to happiness. At the end of the lesson, we were challenged to do a kind deed every day this month.

I like to think I'm a kind person. I like to think that I do a kind deed every day without thinking about it. Still, it's an interesting thing to think about. One of the teachers said, "There is so much meanness in the world." That's so true, isn't it? Rudeness, gossip, road rage, intolerance. Personally, I think most of it stems from selfishness. We spend so much time thinking about ourselves that we forget the people around us. We see them as annoyances, instead of people with lives, loves, concerns and joys. Kindness is really the antithesis of selfishness. It's doing something for another person when you could just as easily only think of yourself.

If selfishness is the cause of so many of the world's problems, it stands to reason that kindness could be the solution, doesn't it? Amelia Earhart said,

"No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves."

One kind deed a day doesn't seem like much, but if 100 people do a kind deed everyday, that's 100 people who are touched. 100 people who may do a kind deed the next day and touch another 100 people.

I've accepted the challenge of doing a kind deed a day for the month of December. I'll report them here. They'll probably be simple things, but sometimes those are the most meaningful. I might just post what I did, or I might add it to the end of a post, but I promise, it will be here.

Yesterday I had a nice chat with the checkout girl at Wal-mart. People often take their frustration out on customer service people, but how often to they benefit from good moods?

Today I got the door for a girl who was going into the Jenny Craig office with her arms full of Chick-Fil-A bags (yes, I noticed the irony).

Would you like to join me on my quest to spread kindness? December is a perfect month for it. I'll extend my challenge to you - try and do one kind deed every day for the month of December. You can report them here, if you want to follow along with me. I'd love to hear them.

One kind deed isn't a lot. You don't have to go out of your way. It's a small thing, but it can make a difference in a life, and in the world. Let's be kind to each other!

WW - and NOT for White Whale

2008-11-19T21:17:00.000-08:00

This will be a quick post since it's getting late, but I'm so stoked and I have to share the good news!

A couple months ago, I joined Weight Watchers. I've been chubby (read: fat) my whole life, and I was just plain sick of it. It's taken a lot of time for me to get to the place where I was really ready to make a change, but I'm there now, and I wanted something that would work. I've heard good things about WW, so I decided to give it a try. And guess what?

I've lost 16 pounds!!

I still have a long way to go, but 16 pounds is nothing to sniff at. I look at it like this:

Hooray for Weight Watchers!

So, Internets, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. This is what I looked like when I started (I'm on the right, if you weren't sure).

And this is what I'm shooting for.

It's a long way to go, but now I know I can do it!

It's Such an Embarassment

2008-11-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

Welcome to this episode of My Most Embarrassing Moments!

Before I started my job, I invested in some "really good" shoes. They were supposed to absorb some of the pressure from knees and ankles, and they were supposed to keep me from pronating (rolling to the side of your foot). For a while, they were great. Lately, not so much. In fact, when I do pronate, I'm pretty much guaranteed to fall becuase the shoes have some height to them.

Today I was at the front counter helping a customer. I took a step backwards to get something, and I turned my ankle (aka pronated). Down I went! I tried to catch myself on this paper table, but unfortunately, it's on wheels. The table moved back, and I landed on my butt. Did I mention that this table sort of a wire rack with a table top? It made a lot of noise when I fell against it. Everyone in the shop came running. E-VER-Y-ONE. As if that's not embarrasing enough, I was checking myself for injuries, and I found this:

That's right. Big ol' hole in the back of my pants. See the two fingers through it? It gave a nice view of my turquoise underpants. I had to go home to change.

Just be glad I can't take a picture of my own butt, because the bruise there is not pretty.

On the up side, in the time it took me to drive home and back to work, the gas station on the corner dropped 7 cents! I couldn't take a picture, because my phone doesn't have a camera (I know, I know, I might as well be using cassette tapes for all my technological advancement), but it looked a little like this:

Can I get a hallelujah! Well, can I? Seriously, I can't hear you. I'm so excited about falling gas prices! I honestly never thought gas was going to be below $2.00 ever again. I was composing the stories to tell my kids about how "When I was young, gas was only $1.25 a gallon." And I was coming up with smart-ass responses to "Really? So what was the world like in black and white?" But here we are at $1.89! If I weren't so excited about how much money I'm going to save, I'd be annoyed at all that wasted creativity.

Finally, for your viewing enjoyment:

I call it Sadie and Ball. It's a pretty common sight around here.

I Have a Confession to Make.

2008-10-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

So am I! That's right. I'm Republican. Go Elephants!

I've noticed, while touring the blogosphere, that it's not really a popular thing to be. That's one of the things I've never understood, actually. I don't know anyone who's nervous to admit they're a Democrat. What's the deal with that?

Since I'm coming out anyway, I'll give you a little flash of my views. You may not agree with them, but that's the great thing about living in America. First Amendment, baby!

I believe abortion is wrong. There are some cases where it would be acceptable, but only with deep thought and prayer on the mother's part. Every baby should have a chance to live.
I believe that less is more when it comes to government. Less taxes, less interference, and for Pete's sake, less spending!
I believe marriage is sacred and should only be between one man and one woman.
I believe that everyone should work to support themselves, and that people who are successful shouldn't be punished with higher taxes (I'm talking to you, Mr. Obama!)
I believe in free enterprise and small business. The government should stay out of it.
I believe that all people deserve freedom, and that it's the responsibility of the strong to protect the weak.
I believe that Toby Keith has as much right to say that America will "put a boot in your ass" and the Dixie Chicks do to say they're ashamed of their President. And I don't think that makes Toby an ass, I think it makes him patriotic.
I believe that this election year, we're pretty much screwed either way. I respect John McCain for his service to his country, but I'm not a fan of his politics. However, I'm voting for him because a vote for McCain is a vote against Obama, and he scares me. Say no to Socialism!

So there. That's my confession. I'm a Republican, and I'm proud!

And for your viewing enjoyment, courtesy of Big Sister:

Maybe It's a Little Late to Be Asking . . .

2008-10-18T16:15:00.001-07:00

. . . but I need some guy advice. You would think that at 24, I would have a pretty good handle on this dating thing, but the truth is, I suck at it.

I'm sitting here waiting to leave for a party, and I'm hoping a certain boy will be there. We'll call him Cute Army Boy. He's cute. He was in the Army, but he was wounded in Iraq. When he told me about it (in a group conversation) he said it just like that - "I was wounded." Of course, me with my big mouth chimed in, "Oh, yeah, he's all mellow about it. 'I was wounded.' He probably got shot or something." He responded with this:

"Actually, I got blown up."

And I was, miraculously, stunned into silence, in which I thought, Holy crap! Blown freaking up? The silence lasted about three seconds, after which I said, "Blown up? Seriously? Like by a bomb?"

I'm so eloquent.

After we had established that it was, in fact, a bomb, I mentioned that at least he still had all his limbs, and he said he'd had some mild brain damage. I said, "Well, you look okay" (again with the eloquence) and he said, "If you'd seen me a year ago, you wouldn't have said that." And that was it. No bitterness, no plays for sympathy, just matter-of-fact-ness. Like it was no big deal.

And then I fell in love with him a little bit.

Apparently he was raised as an Army Brat, and joined himself when he got old enough. He joined as a Medic, but was sent to Iraq as a Machinist. At night, they went out to look for IEDs and one night he found one. I think the way he tells the story says so much about him. I mean, he didn't even get a medical discharge. He got a medical retire. That means that he gets all the same benefits he would have if he had been career Army and then retired. If that were me, I would either milk it for all it was worth or be really bitter. But he's not.

**As a funny aside, when I told this story to a friend earlier, I accidentally said IUD instead of IED. Then I was like, "Wait, I'm pretty sure an IUD doesn't blow up."**

Anyway, now that we've established that Cute Army Boy is freaking amazing, let's get back to me. I'm sitting here, all ready to go to this party and literally forcing myself not to leave for another 15 minutes so that I won't be exactly on time. I'm all done up and cute. I smell good. My problem is that I have no idea how to do this boy-girl thing.

I know that if you want a guy to ask you out, you have to show some interest. My problem is that I've never been able to find the happy medium of "showing interest". I either act like I'm not interested at all, or I end up looking like a desperate, pathetic fool. There's got to be something in between that, right?!?

So help me out here, Internet friends. How do you show a guy you're interested without coming off desperate and pathetic?

Cause honestly? I'm feeling a little desperate and pathetic.

Washington D.C., Baby!

2008-10-13T18:24:00.001-07:00

I spent the last weekend in September in Washington D.C. with my big sister. She and her husband have lived there for three years, but I've never been able to get out there.

My sister has a habit of calling me and saying, "Guess where I am?" and then proceeding to brag about being somewhere great. Last year, she called and told me she was at the National Book Festival. Ever since then, I've been planning to go to this year's festival. It made for a fantastic weekend.

Big Sister took a couple days off work to play with me. The first day, we started at the International Gallery at the Smithsonian Museum. They had a Jim Henson exhibit, which was so much fun. A lot of the original muppets were there. Remember Mnah-Mnah? You know, "Mnah-Mnah! Do-do-do-do-do." He was there. And who knew that Mnah-Mnah was his name? And did you know that the original Kermit was made from Henson's mother's spring coat and some ping-pong balls?

After the Muppets, we walked down the National Mall and checked out the monuments. We started with Lincoln.

He's a heck of a lot bigger in person than he looks on the five dollar bill.

We also stopped at the Korean War Memorial, the Vietnam War Memorial and the World War II Memorial. I found them really touching. So many people who left their homes to protect our freedom and the freedom of others. So many who never came home. The Vietnam Memorial is especially touching that way. It's so long, and the names on it are so small.

The Korean War Memorial was my favorite. It's not one that is as familiar to most of us as the Vietnam Memorial. It's several statues of soldiers, spread out, and there are ground plants all around them. It's even better at night. Kind of creepy and poignant.

My favorite part of the World War II Memorial was the quote engraved around the flagpole. "Americans came to liberate, not to conquer, to restore freedom and to end tyranny."

The second day we went to the Hirshhorn Museum, another Smithsonian Museum. It was by far the coolest museum I saw there. The best exhibit was a video called, "The Way Things Go." Here's a small clip.

The National Book Festival was on Saturday and it was amazing! We caught the tail end of Brad Meltzer, who wrote The Tenth Justice and his new book, Book of Lies. We also listened to Salman Rushdie, who wrote The Satanic Verses and who had a death threat made against him but the president of Iran. He had to spend a decade in hiding. Another author we listened to was Geraldine Brooks, who wrote an amazing book called Year of Wonders, about a small village in England during the plague.

My favorite author, though, was Marisa de los Santos. I read her book Love Walked In in preparation for the festival and I thought it was amazing. Listening to her talk was great. She talked about her characters like they were real. It was fascinating to listen to her talk about her creative process.

I was also able to have her sign a copy of her new book for me. It was like meeting a celebrity. I swear, I'm such a dork.

I was also able to see a friend of mine from New Zealand, Jen. I hadn't seen her in ages, and it was so great to get together again. I was also able to meet her husband Nick, which was fun. They pretty much eloped, so I never even heard about him until she was married! She's also preggers, and I'm way excited for her.

I actually stole this picture of us from her blog - Nick took it.

All in all, it was a fantabulous, if exhausting weekend!

An Aura of Confidence? Me?

2008-10-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

A strange thing happened to me today. I was talking to a friend of mine - actually, we're more of close acquaintances - and we were talking about why men don't ask women out. She mentioned that some men are too intimidated to ask a girl on a date, and I said, "I don't get that. I'm like the least intimidating girl ever."

"No, you're definitely intimidating," she said.

"What? How am I intimidating?" I was surprised at this comment, since I've always seen myself as sort of neutral. You know, not really invisible, but doesn't stand out either.

"Because you're so confident," she said. Now, if her first comment surprised me, my jaw hit the floor on this one. I actually laughed out loud, partly out of disbelief and party out of pleasure.

I've gone through several stages of confidence in my life. Well, I guess I've really only gone through two - confident and utterly unconfident - but I've flipped back and forth a lot. In high school, I was pathetically unconfident. I was obsessed about being fat, even though, looking back, I was totally fine. Not a stick, but hardly a heifer. One of the guys I liked back then even told one of my friends, "The reason I could never date Betsy isn't because of her weight, it's because she doesn't like herself."

Then I went to college and managed to be less pathetic, although I wouldn't say I was really confident. Not until I went to New Zealand. I'm so glad I did that - it changed everything for me. When I got back, I was felt like I was a different person. I did all these hard things there; things I never thought I could do. I was finally happy with myself, and I didn't feel like I needed a boy to make things good.

But if there's one thing you can count on in life, it's change. First a really good friend turned her back on me, without reason or warning. I was lucky though, because I met another, even better, friend around the same time. I've often wished I'd met her first, because she would never treat me so poorly. But that's not really the point. The point is that the abandonment was a blow, but it wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for that year in Arizona.

After I graduated college, I moved to Mesa for an internship. That part when great, but then I was on my own. It took me two months to find my first real job, where I worked for two months before being fired without explanation. Two months later, and I was still jobless. You can see how this might negatively effect a person's self-image. My first shot on my own, and it was a train wreck.

Finally, I wised up and moved home before things got really bad. I took a job working for my dad. It may not sound very glamorous, but I realized that I was good at it, and smart, and a good problem-solver. I was active in my ward at church, and I started to remember what it felt like to know I could do anything.

After a year or so, I moved away from home again. Now I'm in good old GJ, and things are so great, I'm almost not surprised I "radiate confidence" (her words, not mine). Almost not surprised. I love my job, and frankly, I rock at it. They gave me a raise a month in, I'm so good. I'm learning more and more about the print industry, and I'm realizing I have an interest in graphic design. I'm supporting myself (mostly - Mom and Dad double as prescription coverage since I don't have insurance yet), and I'm learning about being a landlord (mostly that it sucks, but that's a different story).

It was so great to have someone tell me that I'm confident again. It's been so long since I've felt that way. In my post New Zealand days, a friend of mine told me I was the coolest girl he'd ever met. I feel like that girl again, and I'm so glad, because I really missed her.

'B' for Betsy!

I heart En Zed (NZ)

I'm the coolest girl he's ever met, and look what a badass he is!

Project Interior Decorate

2008-10-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

I love having a house. Houses are so much better than apartments. I even have my own furniture! Well, I have some furniture.

A couple weeks ago I happened upon a moving sale. I'd been looking for some sort of small table, and as I drove past, I spotted the cutest table. I pulled right over to check it out. It was perfect. It had been used as a garden table, so it wasn't painted or anything, but it had good bones. For $3.00, I snagged it and took that baby home.

That weekend, I spent all day Saturday painting it. I had to start with white paint since it was virgin wood. Then I had to put two coats of paint over the white. I chose a gorgeous purply-brown color called "Spiced Wine."

Here are some before and after pictures.
Pre-painting garden table:

All finished and in my house!

I Have Returned!

2008-09-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

Wow. The last month has been kah-razy. I started a new job, moved to a new house, got new roommates and joined Weight Watchers. So far, it's all going swimmingly.

The new job is fantabulous. I love love love love working there. The print industry is new to me, but it's something I've always been interested in. There is so much to learn and so much fun new stuff. My favorite is the cutter. It makes me feel wicked powerful. It's a toss up between that and the shrink wrap machine. I was guaranteed a raise after 90 days, but after a month, my boss asked if we could chat and gave me a fifty cent raise! He said he'd never done it before. I was on cloud nine. Yeah, the extra money is great, but the fact that I'm doing so well makes me feel amazing.

The new house is in a great neighborhood and is really cute. It's the perfect size and is totally cozy. I can't wait to decorate it. I think the roommates are going to work out as well. One is 40 and the other is 18, so there's a big age gap, but everyone seems to get along.

Weight Watchers is fabulous. I joined because I'm just plain tired of being fat. I like the plan because it's like counting calories, but easier. You can eat anything you want, as long as you stay within your points! I've noticed that I pay more attention to what I eat. I used to eat a meal and then start snacking a few minutes later, mostly out of boredom. I don't do that anymore because I have to think about everything I eat. And! Last week I lost 3.4 pounds. Right on.

Checkin' in

2008-08-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hello! I know, I know, I haven't blogged in over three weeks. But I've been busy! I just moved and started a new job. I still don't even have all my stuff unpacked. I promise promise promise I'll start blogging again soon. But, for your reading enjoyment:

Freewheelin' fun at the DNC
by Dave Berry

DENVER --
This vibrant Western city has pulled out all the stops to make Democratic convention visitors feel welcome right from the moment they arrive at the huge and modern airport, conveniently located in nearby Kansas. From there it's less than a day's drive to downtown Denver, which has been spruced up for the convention with the installation of thousands of brand-new, state-of-the-art spittoons.

No, I'm just poking a little fun at the Denver folks, who are a bit defensive about Denver's stereotyped image as a ''cow town'' -- the kind of place with cattle mooing in the streets, and cowboys drinking in honky-tonk saloons, and a mayor with a name like ``John Hickenlooper.''

These stereotypes are totally false, except the one about the mayor, who actually is named John Hickenlooper. I happen to semi-know Mayor Hickenlooper, because I belong to an all-author rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, and when we performed in Denver two years ago, Mayor Hickenlooper joined us on stage to sing the classic Troggs song Wild Thing. Really. He took the difficult vocal solo part that goes, ''You MOVED me,'' and he totally nailed it. You would have sworn you were hearing an actual Trogg. The mayor got a nice round of applause from those audience members still able to clap without falling down. I mention this story because I really like saying ''Hickenlooper.'' Hickenlooper Hickenlooper Hickenlooper.

But my point is that, despite the mayor's name (''Hickenlooper''), Denver is a modern and sophisticated city with huge quantities of culture in the form of museums, latte machines, flush toilets, etc. And the city has done a fine job with the convention preparations, which include many ``green'' touches, such as the ''Freewheelin'' free-bicycle program. As I understand it, the way this works is, there are nearly 1,000 bicycles in special racks set up around Denver, and if you feel like offsetting some carbon, you just go to one of these racks, and you realize that all the bicycles have been stolen.

At least that's how it would work in Miami. Apparently in Denver, people actually return the bicycles. Ha ha! What a bunch of cow-town Hickenloopers.

No, seriously, I applaud this program, as well as the many other ''green'' efforts at this convention, such as the bold plan to take the 19,000-seat Pepsi Center ''off the grid'' and power it entirely with delegate flatulence, even though this has forced Barack Obama to move his Thursday acceptance speech outdoors.

Speaking of the convention: It got off to a rousing start Monday night with speeches by three or four dozen important Democratic party dignitaries, who sounded the convention's official Monday theme: ''A Whole Lot of Speeches.'' But the big news was the decision to seat the entire Michigan and Florida delegations, which means they will be able to participate fully in the roll-call vote, which means you just know the Florida delegation will mess up the buttons somehow and accidentally nominate Walter Mondale.

Meanwhile outside of Denver, Joe Biden has wasted no time acting vice presidential, attacking John McCain for being out of touch with ordinary Americans because he couldn't remember how many houses he has. I think this might backfire. For one thing, Joe is not really one to accuse anybody of being out of touch, seeing how he has been a U.S. senator for 200 years. But also there's the question of fairness. I mean, do YOU have a perfect memory? Can you look yourself in the eyeball and honestly say that you have never forgotten how many houses John McCain has? I know I have. Sometimes I forget my own pants.

Speaking of which: I am shocked to report that there are lavish parties being held here, financed by huge evil corporations giving away free food and liquor to advance their evil corporate agendas. As a journalist concerned about corruption, I cannot BELIEVE I have not been invited to any of these parties. Give me a call, giant corporations! I'm right here in my hotel room! With about 45 bicycles.

*Originally published 8/25/08 in the Miami Herald

I Just Don't Understand.

2008-08-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered a blog that I LOVE, and not through Madame Queen, even though she linked it recently.

It's called "Jason. For the love of God." It's written by That Chick, who also writes at Scrivel. I'm not going to pretend that I get the title, but I do get that That Chick rocks.my.socks. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Plus, I relate. I'm telling you, I love it.

I also love blogging in general. I love that I've made friends that I've never even met. I love that there are people willing to share themselves, and others who are willing to support them. I love that a bunch of crazy women can rent out a whole store just for a party.

That's why I was so disappointed today.

That Chick recently wrote a great post about her struggle with food. She's a little overweight. So am I. In fact, I'm more than a little overweight. I know what a struggle it is. I know how it makes you feel like you're less of a person, like everyone is judging you. So I know That Chick put herself out there when she wrote that post.

I commented on it. I congratulated her on losing 40lbs. I let her know that she isn't alone. I didn't bother to read all 38 comments first, because I really wanted to say my piece. After I'd posted my comment, I went back to read them. Most were the kind of comments you usually see, loving and supportive. But I also found this, posted by Anonymous:

"I've been reading this blog for a long time now and I have to be honest...I don't understand the appeal. You aren't funny. You are fat. Not just fat but extremely fat. So boo-hoo go work out instead of sitting on your fat ass in front of the computer all the time. Your husband cheated on you and you married him anyway. You're writing sucks and no one is ever going to publish it. You are really pathetic. I don't know if all these people just feel sorry for you or what but you are just a loser.

All your stupid minions will probably attack me now. I've seen them do it to others who have dared to say the truth about you. But I don't care. I'm the only one who will say the truth."

I hesitate to even repeat it here because it makes me physically ill. It makes me want to cry. It was the 5th of the 38 comments. Many of the following comments condemned Anonymous. I was tempted, but I didn't feel like I could put my anger into words.

It's people like this that have maimed our society. People who judge others, who believe that some are better than others, who don't have the manners to keep it to themselves. It's people like Anonymous who make me so self-conscious that sometimes I struggle going to the grocery store. The reason I don't swim anymore, even though water is one of my greatest joys. The reason I walk through a public building, wishing I were invisible.

I don't feel that way all the time, of course, but I do feel that way sometimes. I'm sure That Chick does too. That's why this comment causes me so much pain. Even though I know Anonymous is one giant jerk-face, it hurts me. I know it hurt That Chick, and that hurts me too. So here's my response.

Dear Anonymous,

It must be nice to be anonymous. You can say anything you want to anyone, with no repercussions. It says a lot about you. Mostly, that you're enough of a bitch to be cruel, but too much of a pansy to do it with a name.

If there is anyone in the blogosphere that's really pathetic, it's you. A person who feels the need to put down another person; one you've never even met.

What makes you like this? I'm trying not to be a hypocrite here; I'm trying not to judge you the way you've judged others. But really. What kind of person anonymously attacks someone who has just opened herself up? Do you think this makes you some kind of hero? That it makes you better than someone else?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Telling the "truth", as you call it, isn't a virtue. The virtue comes in accepting people for who they are, and realizing their value and human beings.

Here's another secret. You are a pathetic excuse for a human being. You are everything that is wrong with society. You are contemptible, revolting, loathsome, foul, vile, despicable, hateful and putrid.

Someday, your cruelty will come back to haunt you. Someday, your life will not be so perfect. You will struggle, agonize, and wish for someone to comfort you. And there will be no one there. You will have brought the pain upon yourself, because you do not deserve sympathy or assistance.

Have fun rotting in hell.

Love,
ekbetsy

Harsh? Perhaps. I'm not known for my kindness when I lose my temper. In fact, it takes an awful lot to get me that angry. I don't apologize. My other regret is that I don't know Anonymous better, so that I could take shots that would hit closer to home.

Dear That Chick,

Don't let the bastards get you down. No one defines your worth except you. You have accomplished goals, worked for what you have. You fight against your weaknesses, rather than giving in to them. And that makes you a better person than many.

I don't know you, although I wish I did. But I know that you have plenty to be proud of, and that you don't deserve such hateful cruelty. I'm sorry that it happened. I wish I could undo it, but I can't. The best I can do is tell you, and anyone else that it's not okay, and do my best to keep if from happening to anyone else.

XOXO,
ekbetsy

I don't understand cruelty. I wish I could make it stop. How much better would our world be if people would only have respect for one another? But all I can do it refuse to be cruel myself, and encourage others to do the same.

Oh, and Anonymous? If you have anything to say to me, at least have the guts to put your name on it, you disgusting weasel.

Good News and Good Friends (and the Fetal position)

2008-07-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

I told you I would get to this post!

Here's my good news: I found a new job! It all happened rather suddenly, but I'm really excited about it. It's in the printing industry, and I think it will be something I really enjoy.

Here's the deal about good friends: I have so many of them! I'm so blessed. I got kinda screwed by a "friend" in college, and I've been a little more hesitant in making new friends because of it. Recently, though, my real friends have shown just how great they are. One friend, C, dropped everything and rushed over when the whole work fiasco went down. F has been friend helping my find a place to live (I'm actually moving into her house since she's moving to Alaska.) But the most generous gesture was made by an old friend, J. (Not you, JAE. This is a different J). J and I were the best of friends growing up. We went through a lot together. We went to different colleges, though, and we grew apart. It wasn't that we didn't care about each other, we just didn't make the effort to stay in touch. I didn't even get to go to her wedding (I was in New Zealand). Well, J and her husband and baby recently moved back to Western Colorado. When I told her I got a job and was moving to the same town, she selflessly offered to let me live with them. Rent free. Twice. I am still in awe and her generousity. It reminds me why good friends are good to have.

Things have really fallen into place, which is part of how I know this is the right move for me. I applied for a bunch of jobs and got the one I really wanted. I was able to find a perfect place in a great neighborhood for reasonable rent where I can have my dog. I have a place to stay the night before I move in, so I don't have to commute as much. I bought F's furniture for a steal, and since I'm moving into her house, we don't even have to move it!

I'm really excited for this new beginning. I never thought I would come back home, certainly never intended to stay for as long as I have; but I see know that I needed this time to re-center myself. I sort of forgot myself there for a while; who I am, what's important to me. I've been able to refocus on those things over the past year, and I feel ready to go back out into the world.

Honestly, though, I'm also freaked. Like, crawl under the covers in the fetal position and rock while calling for my mommy freaked. The last time I went out into the world, it was a total failure. Granted, I'm a lot closer to home this time, but I've never been good with change. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I know it's the right thing, that it's part of God's plan for me, but one thing I've learned is that just because it's what God wants you to do doesn't mean it's going to be fun.

So. To recap: New job, new place, half excited, half terrified.

Wish me luck! I'm going to go try to get my heart rate back to normal. "Everything will be fine, everything will be fine." Oh, don't mind me. Just giving myself a little pep talk. I'll be here if you need me. I'm the one rocking back and forth, muttering to herself.

Good News and Good Friends . . . Whoops, just kidding.

2008-07-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

I've been planning this blog post in my head most of the day, but for some reason, I just don't have the oomph to write it. Which is weird, because it's gonna be a good one. Stay tuned.

So, in lieu (I love that word) of good news . . .

Things I Did Today to Avoid Work:

Played 57 games of solitaire
Read Vintage Thirty
Checked The Tea Party Place (no new post, sad. Lauren must be too busy puking)
Checked The Madame Queen (saw my link there again and blushed)
Read It's a Mad Madge World
Also checked June Cleaver Nirvana, Frantically Simple and The Pioneer Woman
Blog surfed
Googled "treatment for sprained ankle"
Rescheduled OBGYN appointment
Played with my new Facebook app, Flair
Played with some super cute Corgi puppies
Checked Craigslist for roommates and furniture
Chatted with J
Cleaned under my fingernails
Picked at my peeling sunburn
Checked my email 12 times
Texted with L about lunch
Read some stories on FoxNews.com (especially the one about the ex-astronaut who says aliens are real and the government is covering it up)
Read about how Katy Perry's pastor parents are upset that she "Kissed a Girl"
Wrote this blog
Added a picture after the post was written; fought with formatting

Don't get me wrong, I worked too. Just not as hard as I could have. But hey, I'm not going to be here much longer anyway (Oooh, mysterious! Guess you'll just have to come back for the big reveal!).

And to my dad, who (whom?) I know lurks on this blog (that means reading without commenting, Daddy), just remember, I was working really hard before it all went to hell.

Gotta go, people. Things to do, solitaire to play.

102 Things You Never Needed to Know About Me

2008-07-22T19:26:00.001-07:00

When I first started blogging regularly, I saw several "100 Things" posts. I like them because I think they give a great insight to the author. A while ago I decided that I would do "100 Things About Me" for my 100th post. When the time came, though, I wanted to blog about my birthday instead. So now, for my 102nd post,

102 Things About Me!

1. I'm the youngest of seven children by seven years. My oldest sibling is 20 years older than me.

2. I graduated from BYU with a degree in Recreation Management and Youth Leadership. It's pretty much useless.

3. I had the funnest major on campus.

4. I have several pet peeves when it comes to driving: People who don't use their blinkers, people who leave their blinkers on, and people who stop when there's no stop sign.

5. Top five musical artists: Mae, Norah Jones, KT Tunstall, Sherwood, Death Cab for Cutie.

6. I also like Hilary Duff. It's my hidden shame.

7. My very favorite movie is Under the Tuscan Sun.

8. Someday when we're rich, my best friend and I are going to take year long trip around the world. We'll hit Australia, New Zealand, Bali, Thailand, Italy, Belgium, Prague, London, Ireland and the Caribbean. I think that's everywhere.

9. I have a dog named Sadie. I think she's a boxer-border collie mix, but I'm not sure. I got her a Wal-mart.

10. I currently live with my parents. Don't judge me. I save a lot of money.

11. I work for an animal health store. I know nothing about animal health. I do, however, know about business, and I'm learning the other stuff.

12. My dad owns the business.

13. I would love to write a book someday.

14. I would also love to work in publishing (I'd like to be an editor), but I don't want to live in the city.

15. I studied abroad for a semester in New Zealand. It was the most amazing experience of my life.

16. My biggest regret is not spending more time with my grandmother before she passed away from breast cancer. I was only eight, and it scared me to see her so sick. Still, I've regretted it since the day she died.

17. If I believed in hell (which I don't, really), I'm positive that it would be Junior High. For eternity.

18. I believe that we make our own hell.

19. I believe in ghosts.

20. I think I believe in psychics. Not necessarily the tarot-reading, crystal ball kind, but I believe that some people see and sense things the rest of us don't.

21. My mom has told me stories about my great-grandmother, who used to meet with a group of people and try to move buttons with their minds.

21. I really miss college.

22. I'm a country girl, all the way. Well, as in, I like the country and I don't like the city. Not as in, I know how to artificially inseminate a cow.

23. I'm in love with David Cook from American Idol.

24. I've been para-sailing.

25. I can touch my toes to the top of my foot. I was 12 before I found out not everyone could do it.

26. My wisdom teeth came in when I was 15.

27. I still have my wisdom teeth.

28. I have four nieces and three nephews, and I'm totally crazy about them.

29. I can read a book in a day. It's not uncommon for me to read two in a weekend.

30. Some of my favorite authors: Jennifer Crusie, Madeline L'Engle and Jayne Ann Krentz.

31. I love books, but I'm not wild about "literature." I can appreciate it, but it's not my first choice. I'm all about cheesy commercial fiction.

32. In September, I'm going to the National Book Festival in Washington D.C., and I. Am. So. Excited.

33. I love love love road trips. I think it came from my parents and I always driving whenever we went on a trip. I learned so much on those trips.

34. I have an excellent sense of direction, and once I've been to a place, I can almost always get back.

35. I love the idea that there are myths that are true. Have you seen National Treasure? I wish that was real.

36. I was 22 the first time I was stung by a bee.

37. I've been to Disneyland 4 times. My favorite ride is Space Mountain.

38. The snake on the Indiana Jones ride? Scares the bejesus out of me.

39. I'm really afraid of snakes. I've tried to be tough about it, but I just. don't. like. them.

40. There is a drive-in in my hometown, and I love it. I go as often as possible.

41. I lived in Arizona for a year, and I almost roasted alive.

42. The backyard of the house I grew up it was, and still is, my favorite place in the world.

43. Growing up, my dad used to take me camping and fishing for my birthday every year.

44. I also went to a church camp every summer, and I was always annoyed by the girls who were all, "Eww, I'm dirty!" Duh. That's what happens when you sleep outside.

45. Words like "gonads" and "sperm" still make me giggle.

46. I got picked on a lot in junior high.

47. My favorite teacher of all time was Mr. Hypio. He taught 8th grade English and Science, and I totally adored him.

48. I never moved a single time before I was 18.

49. I've moved 11 times in the last 6 years.

50. I hate moving.

51. I'm starting a new job in 2 weeks.

52. Which means I'm going to be moving again.

Whew. Halfway there. This is harder than it looks!

53. I am terrible at standing up for myself. I'm great in my head, but in real life, not so much.

54. Sometimes watching chick flicks makes me sad.

55. I love Grey's Anatomy. My BFF and I talk about the characters like they're real people.

56. I also really like Private Practice, Eli Stone, Bones, NCIS, Ugly Betty, According to Jim . . .

57. I like TV. Can you tell?

58. It annoys me when people talk about people who like TV like they're lazy. I don't like TV because I'm lazy. I like it because I like stories.

59. I'm kinda lazy.

60. As the youngest child, I'm kinda spoiled. I'll admit it, but if anyone in my family says so, it makes me cry.

61. I've always wanted red hair.

62. I'm a sucker for boys with dark hair and blue eyes.

63. I'm not all that good with kids. I never had any little sibs, and I didn't do much baby-sitting. I want to be one of those people that just loves kids, but I don't really get them. They're just so small. And loud. And little.

64. I'm a big fan of musical theatre.

65. I was in a production of Evita my senior year of high school. I was a "Woman of Argentina."

66. I saw The Phantom of the Opera in London. Because I'll all cool and sophisticated like that.

67. The women in my family are the most amazing people I know. You might think I'm biased, but really. They're incredible.

68. I like trashy romance novels (well, tastefully trashy).

69. I'm kind of anal about proper word usage. I have to work really hard not constantly correct people's pronunciation or tell them they're using a word wrong.

70. I love Scrabble.

71. Scrabble is one of the only games I can beat my mother at.

72. My mom kicks my trash at checkers. Every time.

73. I like office supply stores better than clothing stores. But not better than shoe stores.

74. When I'm upset, I can go to a bookstore and just the smell calms me down.

75. I'm a totally different person now that I thought I would be five years ago.

76. I had a roommate in college who stabbed me in the back in the worst way, and I've never quite gotten over it.

77. I loved my time at BYU, but sometimes I wish I had gone somewhere else, just so that I didn't have to say I went to BYU. People who didn't go to BYU sometimes judge people who did.

78. I'm addicted to Daveto's, a restaurant in my town. I wonder if there's some kind of support group for that?

79. I love giving presents. I get a huge kick out of finding just the right gift.

80. I cannot draw to save my life. Even my stick figures are bad.

81. I quit piano lessons after about a year. I so wish that I had stuck with it.

82. Because students at BYU are required to live in approved apartments, all of which are furnished, I'm 24 and I don't own a single stick of furniture.

83. I'm pretty sure I've lived in a haunted house.

84. My favorite color is yellow, although I kind of just stick with that so I have something to say. I really like all colors.

85. I can't watch scary movies, because I'm a big wuss. I watched most of The Sixth Sense with my eyes closed, and it's not even very scary.

86. I watched part of IT when I was five or six. I didn't make it through. You know what got me? Fortune cookies turning into killer crabs.

87. I really want to learn how to quilt.

88. I crocheted a blanket for my brother one Christmas, and it got a little out of hand. I started it mid-October, and finally finished it at 3:00am Christmas morning.

89. I was in Sunshine Generation.

90. I snore. Loudly.

91. I love the water.

92. The first boy I made a fool of myself for was named Andrew. I was 14.

93. The last boy I made a fool of myself for was named Rob. I was 21. See item #77.

94. I really, really, really hope I'm over my "making a fool out of myself for a boy" phase.

95. Fish give me the creeps.

96. When I was a little girl, I would start snowball fights with my mom, and then she would pelt me with snowballs until I fell over laughing.

97. Someday I want to get a breast reduction.

98. The only spaghetti sauce I like is the one my mom makes. Otherwise I eat spaghetti plain.

99. I don't like milk on most cereals.

100. I'm addicted to Otter Pops.

101. With the exception of mascara (because mascara is the same everywhere) I wear exclusively MAC makeup on my eyes.

102. I have almost perfectly straight teeth, and I never had braces.

Whew! I did it! It was a lot harder to write than I expected. Hopefully it wasn't as hard for you to read. If you read all 102, congratulations! You now no more random things about me than you ever needed to. Don't you feel lucky?

Hello, Internets. Did you miss me?

2008-07-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

Hooray!!

I finally have the internet at home again! You probably just thought I was neglecting you. Silly.

Moving created some problems for me, internet wise. First, my wireless card shriveled up and died. No problem, I thought. This new house has hookups all over! Mmm-hmm. Have you heard about how this new house is a disaster? Well, that's a story for another time, but for example; the cat 5 hookups that were supposed to be installed in the floors? NOT CAT 5. Regular telephone hookups.

Once I got a new wireless card, I discovered that I couldn't log onto the network because there is one of those fancy passkeys. I'm sure it's written down somewhere, but I dare you to find it in my Dad's office. If you go, you might want to take a sandwich and a compass, because it might be a while before you get out again.

Finally, in my infinite genius, I managed to hook MY wireless router into the original one, and BADDA-BING-BADDA-BOOM, I'm back in business!

I'm so excited. No more trying to get my hits of blogginess in between tasks at work. No staying late to write. I'm reading blogs from my bed. Yay!

Okay, here are a couple of things you should know:

I had a great interview for a new job this weekend. It went really well, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they offer it to me. It's perfect - full time but no overtime, no weekends, 8 - 5, decent pay, benefits after 6 months. Plus, it's in an industry that has always interested me, the people seemed great, and there are dogs in the office. Could it get any better? Keep your fingers crossed with me, okay? I need all the good vibes I can get.

Also, this is my 101st post. For my 100th post I was going to do something special, but I wanted to write about David Cook! And my return to the Internet! So I'll be doing something special for my 102nd post. I think. Maybe 103. But either way, keep yourself posted, because fun is coming your way!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-07-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

I just returned the from best birthday adventure EVER!

Oh, you'd like to hear all about it? Well, sure, I'd love to share it with you.

Saturday morning, I took off for Utah, where I was going to spend my birthday with my great friend Jessie and her husband Jason. Aren't they cute? Don't they just look like so much fun?

I have to tell you, I had the best birthday. First, Jessie and I went to this great (and cheap) little place for pedicures. They did the whole deal - soaking, conditioning, trimming the cuticles, even a paraffin dip. The pedicurist even managed to scrape the calluses off my poor heels, which were starting to look like hooves.

I chose a pretty reddish-pink color for my toes.

Don't they look nice? I even sprung the extra couple of bucks for a flower.

In this close-up of my big toe, you can see said flower, as well as the dry skin that is screaming out for foot cream. Sorry.

After the pedicures, we went to my very favorite Utah restaurant, Cafe Rio. This was particularly nice of Jessie, since she doesn't actually like Cafe Rio. True friends go to restaurants they hate for their BFF's.

After lunch, we spent the afternoon kicking it at Jessie's parents pool. I swam without self-consciousness, laid in the sun, laughed at the SPF 8 sunscreen (SPF 8! Ha!) and got a little sunburned. It was bliss.

The next day we went back to the pool in the morning, where I applied sunscreen but still came out a little crispier than I would like. Ah well, pink is better that pasty white, right?

That evening was the main event, the American Idols Live Concert! Yes, I'm that much of a dork, and I'm not even ashamed of it. This concert rocked!

It was held at the E Center in Salt Lake, and it was packed!

Jessie and I were discussing the amount of people, and her dad said, "Pshaw! This would never hold a Rolling Stones concert!"

The concert was amazing! It started from 10 and worked up through the top ten Idols. When Chikezie came onstage, my first thought was, "Wow, he's a real person!" We had amazing seats too.

Here's Syesha - she was great, if a little scantily clad. But heck, if my boobs and legs looked that great, I'd probably show them off too.

And look! It's Micheal Johns in real life! He was probably my second favorite of all the performers. He had the crowd all worked up, too.

Oh, but wait for it! Here he is! The love of my life! The main reason I went to the concert - David Cook! Ohmigosh! I was like thisclose to him!! Of course he stuck his arm out right as I snapped the picture, but that's okay because his face is safe and secure in my mind. Do I sound like a stalker? Because I'm not, I swear. Perfectly normal celebrity crush. Really.

And here's a random picture of an arm. I don't know when this was taken. Probably as I tried frantically to get another picture of David after having lost all train of thought when he was so close.

After the killer concert, we drove home and I slept peacefully despite the ringing in my ears, and dreamt of singing, red carpets and David Cook.

The next day I drove home. It's about a five hour drive, but who cares when you get to look at scenery like this?

Seriously, I love my home. It's the best.

You may have noticed that there are no pictures of me on my birthday. Well, I took some, but not a single one turned out well. So here I am today - do I look older now that I'm 24? Not looking my best for sure. No makeup, hair pulled back, in desperate need of a bang trim. At least I only have one chin.

Happy my Birthday!

SPLAT!

2008-07-09T14:47:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had the experience things just going all to hell? One minute things are great, life is good, and you're happy. The next minute, SPLAT! You've hit a wall. Probably one covered with mirrors, reflecting back the fact that your oh-so-perfect life is not so perfect.

I really hate SPLAT!s.

I had one recently. It's a big part of why I haven't been blogging. Remember the nasty Co-Worker? Well, when she quit, I found myself taking on a lot of extra responsibility. First it was just trying to divide her tasks so that everything got done. Then we hired a new person, and it was up to me to train her. On top of everything else I was doing. Putting in nine to ten hour days was the norm. I was okay with it, though. I felt useful, like I was really doing my best job; I was happy with life.

Then one day, my dad (aka THE BOSS) called me at the store.

"I hear you're being a terd. Knock it off!"

"What? I'm not being a terd! Who told you that?" At this point, I actually thought he was joking.

"Don't you defend yourself! I just got a call saying that you were being a brat and it's just like having The Redhead around again!"

It was at this point that I realized this wasn't a joke. One of my co-workers had actually called my father to tattle, rather than coming to me with a problem. I knew who it was, but I asked anyway. The response? "Everyone feels that way."

I was devastated. I felt (still feel, acutally) betrayed, unappreciated and confused. I had spent the last few weeks working like a maniac, making sure the place still ran. I was in the midst of what turned out to be a 12-hour-day. Worst, I had no clue as to what had gone wrong. I thought my co-workers were my friends. At least, I thought we were friendly. I had no indication whatsoever that they were the least bit unhappy with me.

What am I, psychic? Because if you don't tell me something is wrong, I can't fix it!

I'm still not sure which is worse - that they were all complaining about me behind my back or that instead of talking to me, they went to my dad. I can't help wondering what the heck I'm doing, living at home and working for my dad anyway.

I never intended to stay here long term, you know.

I've been here for a year, and even that's longer than I meant it to be. I ended up here because I was unhappy in Arizona, and I was getting ready to move back to Colorado. I was going to come home, live with the 'rents for a few weeks until I found myself a job and a house, then start my life over. I ended up living at home and working for my dad because he called me and said, "I need you to go home and work at the store. They're desperate for help." I thought, Really? He needs me? and I packed my car and left that week.

I've been thinking about moving on for a while now, but I never really did anything about it because I was happy where I was. In my prayers, I had said, "Okay, God, I know I'm supposed to move, so you just let me know when." This whole ordeal happened a couple days later. Hello, sign.

While betrayal wasn't my first choice as far as answers to prayers go, I'm starting to see the wisdom of it. Change is scary for me. It's scary for everyone to some extent, but it's hyperventilate, hide in the closet scary for me. Making a big change in my life takes a lot of courage for me, and that's something I seem to be in rather short supply of. However, now I'm just pissed.

Have you ever noticed how anger is a rather consuming emotion? It's kind of like pot. Unbridled and in large doses, it's dangerous; but in the right circumstances (like for cancer patients) it's acutally helpful. For me, the anger and betrayal is giving me the motivation to push beyond the fear.

So now I'm back where I was a year ago - unhappy, looking for a job and a place to live. Only now I have to find a place to live with a dog. I'm filling out applications, faxing resumes, making contacts; all the while thinking, Hmm. This all feels rather familiar.

And the kicker is, I'm terrified. Yeah, the anger is keeping me from just giving up, but it's definitly not getting rid of the fear altogether. New situations can be such a risk for me because of my depression. If they don't go well, it's not just a crappy situation that I have to endure for a while. It's hide-in-my-bed-can't-get-up-for-a-month-want-to-die, and I'm just not sure I can do that again.

I keep telling myself that having faith and courage doesn't mean that you're not scared. It just means that you keep pushing through. Sometimes I buy it; usually not.

But for now, I'm stuck at my old job, feeling like everyone here hates me. I know that probably not true, and I know it's my attitude making things uncomfortable for me, but it's awfully hard to pretend everything is okay around a bunch of backstabbing, immature liars! Ah. See, the anger has reemerged.

I'm still stunned from the impact. I'm seeing stars and rubbing my forehead, thinking "Where the hell did that wall come from?!?"

I so didn't see this coming.

Happy Birthday, America!

2008-07-04T09:38:00.000-07:00

Look, I'm back! Did you miss me? We'll go into the reasons for my extended absence later. Today, I want to write about something else.

Happy Independence Day!

In honor of this, one of my favorite holidays, I'm stealing Jessie's 10 loves idea again.

10 Reasons Why I Love America

1. Freedom of religion. As a member of a religion that has been persecuted in the past, I am constantly grateful to live in a country where I, and others, are allowed to worship God as we see fit.

2. Upward (or downward) mobility. For centuries, and in many countries today, people were stuck in the class they were born in. If you were born a serf, you were never going to be a knight (was that a mixed metaphor?). Not in America. You can be born in the ghetto and grow up to be a millionaire.

3. Technology. Can you believe that there are still places with no running water? No flush toilets? Much less infrastructure, cars, cell phones or internet. I think we forget how blessed we are. I know I do.

4. Democracy. Sure, it has it's flaws (like lying politicians and year long campaigns), but it's miles ahead of tyranny, communism, monarchy, or dictatorship. We have options. Isn't that great?

5. Compassion. It's screwed up in a lot of ways, but one thing our country has going for it - we don't let our fellow countrymen suffer unnecessarily. You can see the evidence in Katrina, the flooding in the Midwest, the tornadoes nationwide. If someone is in trouble, we do what we can to help. That makes me proud.

6. Freedom of Speech. This goes along with democracy and freedom of religion, but there are still lots of places in the world were criticizing your leaders is simply not allowed. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to express my opinion, even if it is stupid.

7. Freedom of the Press. I know, I know, it's freedom of speech, but I'm grateful for it for different reasons, okay? We hear lots of complaints about how the press is corrupt, or leans one way or the other, but we're lucky to have a press that is semi-objective. Look at some of the corruption in government that the press has uncovered (Watergate, anyone?). The founding fathers intended the press to be the 4th branch of government; a watch-dog of sorts. What amazing foresight.

8. Variety and Diversity. I love that you can drive across America and see completely different climates, landscapes and cultures. We're all so different, but we can always come together when we need to.

9. The Armed Forces. I know that most countries have some sort of armed forces, but I have great love and respect for ours. I'm grateful that there are men and women who are willing to stand on the front lines to protect my right, and your right, to live in a free land. Maybe they're not all in combat, but they would all be willing to die for their country, and I'm eternally filled with awe and gratitude for that. Whether you respect the cause or not, you've gotta respect the bravery of those men and women.

10. The American Dream. Maybe it's not now what it was in the 1950's, but America is still a place where you can make your life what you want it to be. It's not easy, but it was never supposed to be. It's a blessing and a privilege to live in a nation where you can make yourself into whomever you'd like. It's why people keep coming here. Whether it's a white picket fence with a dog and 2.5 kids or a condo in the city with a Jag parked out front; if your willing to work for it, you can get it here.

So lets hear it! Three cheers for the good ole' US of A! Hip, hip . . . HOORAY! Hip, hip . . . HOORAY! Hip, hip . . . HOORAY!

Oh, one more thing. Did you know that there are actually three verses to The Star-Spangled Banner? Yep, it's true. Here are verses two and three:

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream;
And the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand
Between their loves home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
The conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust!"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

It's Scentsational!

2008-06-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of Scentsy? It's a great product. It's a leadless, wickeless candle. They have a bunch of cute warmers and a ton of great scents. I'm having a Scentsy Party this Saturday. Check out the website here

http://www.scentsy.com/6782

Oh, the 80's.

2008-06-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

I've been on an 80's music kick lately.

It all started with my friend H. She has CallerTunes on her cell phone, and it plays "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. After rocking out to it several times, I thought, "Gee, I like Journey. I should listen to them more often."

I set up a Journey radio station on Pandora. Have you met Pandora? She's great. It's this little little website where you enter an artist or song you like, and it plays music similar. The Journey station is like an 80's dance party, 24-7.

This morning I sat down at my desk and turned on Pandora. I was listening while working, and I noticed that a song by Whitesnake came on. Pandora shows the album art for the current song, and I noticed that Whitesnake seemed to look a little . . . well . . . odd.

I did a Google Image search of "Whitesnake" and this came up:

After my initial reaction of "GAACK" (that was me choking on my Corn Pops) and hysterical giggling, several comments came to mind."Does that guy really think that PINK shirt is enhancing his masculity? 'Cause to me it looks like he's just wearing it open to prove that he is, in fact, boobless." "Wow. Are the tough looks supposed to distract me from the hair?" "That guy in the back looks like his head exploded." But mostly, "Oh my gosh! Does Farrah Fawcett know these guys stole her hairdo?!?!"

I continued with my search, and I found this gem:

Oh, so much fodder here. The stretch striped pants with the chain belt? The Bedazzled pants? It's like Richard Simmons, David Bowie and early Sarah Jessica Parker on crack. And again, the hair! It's got to be a fire hazard.

I know it was the 80's. Hair was big, and pants were (apparantly) skintight. Plus, they're British. But still. And you thought you were embarrased by your 80's pictures!

I did a search for the lead singer of Whitesnake, David Coverdale. I found this:

Oooh, now he's mooching looks of Julia Roberts!

And this:

Hey! Now's he's moving in on my territory! I have those same bangs!

Anyway, my David Coverdale search led me to my new favorite website.

http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com

I'm telling you, this baby will provide hours of entertainment.

Breathing a Guilty Sigh of Relief

2008-06-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

One of my co-workers quit her job on Monday.

It's made for a crazy busy week. I haven't been this busy in the entire time I've worked there. But I'm having so much fun!

There was some tension between this co-worker and the rest of us (understatement of the year). Okay, it was a lot of tension. Frankly, this woman wasn't very fun to work with. She's a great person - she's nice and funny and thoughful - but she's hell on a work environment. Since I'm the boss' daughter, she was nicer to me than everyone else, but I still fell victim to her condescending, control-freak ways on more than on occasion.

I have mixed feelings about her leaving. On one hand, hallelujah! I've noticed in the last week that even though I'm so much busier, I'm also enjoying myself a whole lot more. On the other hand, I'm sad that this is how it had to turn out. I'm sad that it got so bad she had to leave.

In some ways, I feel kind of responsible. I could have been more understanding, I could have tried to be more of a mediator. Instead, I got sucked into the drama and ended up complaining about her with everyone else. I should have stood up for my self and others when she treated us poorly. I kind of think she wasn't even aware she was doing it. Maybe she could have changed.

I doubt it, though. She's not really a change kind of person. So while I'm feeling bad, I'm also just barely resisting the urge to dance around singing, "Ding-dong, the witch is dead!"

Sure, I could take the high road, but where's the fun in that?

P.S. - Co-Worker, if you're reading this, I'm sorry things worked out the way they did. I wish only the best for you. I genuinely like you. But frankly, you're kind of a nightmare to work with. But I still love you! Just from a distance.

I Don't Know My Own Strength

2008-05-31T18:10:00.000-07:00

I've been on a root beer float kick lately. I was scooping ice cream for my yummy treat, and pwing!

I found the other half of the spoon in the living room.

I guess I'm stronger than I thought.

Look Mom! I'm an M&M!

2008-05-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

Why don't I have a nose?

Click here to make your own.

*Beware, it's addictive.

Whew!

2008-05-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

Saturday was an eventful day for me.

I was supposed to be moving things into the new house, but instead I helped my brother drywall a beam. Have you ever drywalled? It's pretty intense. It's a lot of working over your head, with a lot of mud. Basically, that translates into having mud all over you. Here's an overview of the day.

I pulled staples out of the sheetrock because some idiot put them in the wrong place. I got lots of insulation in my eyes.

I helped hang sheetrock, which pretty much entailed holding the piece in place - more an an effort than you'd think, since I'm basically a midget.

I mixed drywalling mud with a tool that looked like a heavy duty eggbeater. Have you seen the cartoons where Goofy tries to use a jackhammer and ends up bouncing around because it vibrates so much? That's kind of how I felt. It was like whipping egg whites, only so much cooler.
I was too lazy to go downstairs and get another ladder, so I stacked two 4x4's on top of each other to stand on. Big surprise - I fell. Picture silence in the house, interupted by a loud crash, followed by "Ow!" The top piece rolled out from under me and I landed on the bottom one. My reaction (after "ow")? "Man. I should have seen that coming."

I learned that vaccuming plastic with a shopvac is a pain in the tuckas. It just sucks the plastic right up and won't let go. Apparantly you can use your hand as a block, but I couldn't get it to work all that well.

I was sitting on the floor, vaccuming with the shopvac (having given up on the plastic). I had the hose draped over my shoulder. The hose popped off of the attachment, and latched onto my hair. It just sucked my messy bun right in there. Picture squealing a writhing while I tried to reach the whole before it sucked up my whole head.

The best part of the day? Breaking a board with my hand. Okay, so it was sheetrock, which isn't the toughest material, but it still made me feel cool. I even said, "Hee-YAH!" Yeah, I showed that sheetrock who's boss.

Where do these people come from?

2008-05-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Do you ever look at people and wonder about their story? I know I do. I like to imagine that they were the nerd in school, or wonder about how they met their spouse, or where they work.

Sometimes you see people who really spark the imagination; other times there are people who defy it.

Like this woman.

This is Cowpie Pattie. She's a familiar face in my community. I also often refer to her as, "The Crazy Guitar Lady." She stands on corners and in parking lots, holding her homemade cross aloft, strumming her guitar (one handed, so tunelessly) and singing made up songs about Jesus. And sometimes, politics.

I often wonder what happened to turn Pattie into Cowpie Pattie, the Crazy Guitar Lady. I know she has some kind of mental illness, but according to my former-social-worker mother, she wasn't always this crazy.

I'm pretty sure she lives in her car. I could be wrong, but she has an awful lot of stuff packed into that car.

She has several different guitars. The one she's using in this picture (you can't see it) is simple and black. My favorite is her purple Hannah Montana guitar. It really provides an excellent backdrop for her made-up religious songs.

None of that answers my question, though. What happened to her? Was there something traumatic in her childhood? Did she have a severe allergic reaction to heartbreak? Did she lose a loved one? Or is it just the mental illness?

This is actually a picture of Cowpie Pattie's reflection in my rear view mirror. I noticed her in the parking lot, but I couldn't bring myself to actually stop and take her picture, just so I could make fun of her on my blog.

Although, now that I've actually written it, I realize it's not so much making fun of her, as being saddened by the state of her life.

Sorry, Pattie.

Driving: One Big Pet Peeve

2008-05-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

I have a teensy bit of road rage.

I wouldn't even call it "road rage," really. It's more than all of my pet peeves seem to center around driving. I'm not going to get out of my car and bludgeon anyone. I'm just going to yell. From inside me car. Where no one can hear me, except my passengers (why do they always looks so scared?).

Now, don't try to pretend that you're one of those driving saints. I know better. Come on. Admit it. You know that you've been caught shouting, "Come on, Grandpa!" or "Go, you idiot!"

So just to make you feel better, I'll tell you my pet peeves about driving.

People who don't use their blinkers. What am I, psychic?

People who use their blinkers, but then don't turn them off. Are you moving over? Yes? No?

People who turn their blinkers on three turns before the one they're acutally going to take.

People who follow too closely (being rear-ended three times in as many years might have something to do with this). Here's a hint. If I can't see your headlights, you're TOO CLOSE!

People who speed through my small town. Just because you're driving through doesn't mean you can go 40 miles an hour.

People who are speed, etc. in places that they know are dangerous. Yes, guy who came hurtling around the blind curve by McDonald's, I'm talking to you.

People who don't wait their turns at stop signs. Just because the guy in front of you went doesn't mean you can too.

People who take forever to pass, even though you're clearly going much faster than they are. Hello, Utah roadblock (also know as Mexican roadblock).

The stupid Meadow Gold trucks that block the road by a main intersection. They don't even have anyone directing traffic. And when you get your butts sued off, I will laugh. Bwaa-ha-ha-ha! Like that.

As a funny aside: A good friend of mine was getting ready to go on a mission, and we went to a movie. When she picked me up, I noticed she had pictures of Jesus plastered all over her car. Seriously, all over. There were at least six of them. I said, "Um, Katie? What's the deal with all the Jesus pictures?"

She blushed and said, "Yeah . . . I kind of have a problem with road rage. I'm working on it."

"Oh. Is that working for you?"

"Move it, you moron! Not really."

P.S. - If you're wondering why the bullet points are so unevenly spaced, it's because I got in a fight with the bullet point button. I lost. And now I can't get a space between this line and the last. Damn Blogger.

I'm So Mad I'm a Muggle!

2008-05-10T21:16:00.001-07:00

If you've read the Harry Potter series, you're probably familiar with the Pensieve. For those of you who aren't, it's a magical instrument that Professor Dumbledore frequently uses. It's a bowl filled with a shiny substance that looks like molten silver. The liquid is actually memories. The user extracts a memory using magic (although I pictured it being much less painful) and then places it into the bowl. When the user would like to retrieve the memory, he merely looks deeply into the bowl, and is transported back into his memory in real time.

I really want a Pensieve. There are a lot of really cool magical things in Harry Potter, but if I could choose one, it would definitely be the Pensieve.

Dumbledore uses his because he's seen so much and he runs out of room in his head. I would use mine to get rid of the pesky memories; the ones that make you cringe.

I've been having a lot of those lately. Unfortunately, it feels like most of my memories are the kind that make me cringe, although that's probably because nearly 50% of my life is still made up of awkward teenage years. Still, there's nothing I hate worse than being pounced on by a memory that makes me ill just to recall.

If only I had a Pensieve, I could siphon of all those lousy memories, put them in the bowl, and put the bowl in my closet to gather dust. Isn't that really where all those memories should be anyway? Gathering dust?

My life would be so much easier if only I weren't a Muggle.

Adventures in (and around) the Workplace

2008-05-05T15:25:00.000-07:00

On Friday I was downstairs working the counter when a customer came in. I was helping another customer, so this man asked if he could use the restroom. I directed him to the facilities and continued to help the customer in front of me. The gentleman came down just as I finished with the first customer, and I asked him if I could help.

As he was explaining his needs, I got a whiff of something that smelled suspiciously poop-like. Let me clarify: the store I work at is two stories. The "store" is downstairs, and the offices and restroom are upstairs. I could smell this guy's bathroom experience clear downstairs. I couldn't look him in the face. It was all I could to do keep from yelling, "Dude! What did you have for lunch? Have you no shame?"

He didn't need much, so I helped him pretty quickly. As he was walking out, Nikki, a co-worker, came into the store. I noticed she had a strange look on her face. As soon as I heard the man go out the door, I said, "Oh my gosh, Nikki! That guy! He used the bathroom and I can smell it clear down here!"

"I could smell it when I came in the back door!" Nikki exclaimed. "What did he do up there? I wonder if he opened the window."

"I don't know, but I'm afraid to go up there."

"Is Cissy up there?" Nikki asked, refering to another co-worker.

I felt my eyes go wide. "Yeah, she is. I hope she's still alive!!"

Nikki braved the wave of poo-stench and went to open the window. I heard hshe and Cissy talking, and I heard Cissy say, "Yeah, I thought I should spray in there, but I wasn't brave enough." Apparantly we're all indimidated by poo-stink.

When Nikki came downstairs, I asked, "Is she okay? Was she concious? Seizing?"

Another good friend and customer who had been in while the Great Pooping Customer was there came back in to find us in a fit of giggles with both doors open to let in the chilly breeze. When we told him the story, he said, "Oh, thank God! I didn't want to say anything because I thought it was one of you girls, and someone was sick or something. Man, that was BAD!"

***
And now, for adventure number two (but not that kind of number two):

One of my bosses buys a lot of lotto tickets. What's more, he actually buys winning lottery tickets, on a fairly regular basis.

I'm not much of a lotto player. I bought one when I turned 18, just because I could. I've bought a couple since then. But Lee makes it look so easy! He comes in and says, "I got another $300 scratcher last night!" and before I know it, I've got lotto fever.

I can usually manage to resist the urge until it passes, but sometimes, you've just gotta scratch the itch. Today was one of those days. After lunch (I took my 10-year-old nephew out for lunch for his birthday. Am I the coolest aunt or what?) I stopped at the convienience store to pick up a soda, and I caved. I bought two $1.00 tickets, with no allusions whatsoever that I might win. I knew I was throwing my money away.

I sat in my car outside the store and scratched away. I needed three matching amounts to win. $20 . . . $50 . . . $500 . . . $500 . . . $20 . . . $500 . . . wait! What??? I stared at the ticket in utter disbelief.

"Holy crap." I could feel my heart thumping. Five hundred dollars! I just won five hundred dollars! Visions of the stuff I could buy with the money started dancing through my head as I scratched at the amounts more, cleaning it up so the clerk would have no question about my astounding luck.

$500 . . . Hah! . . . $500 . . . Wahoo! . . . wait, what's this? Why am I seeing more? There's not supposed to be anymore. $2,500?!?!? WTF????

And just like that, my hopes, dreams, and beautiful red furniture vanished into thin air. "Stupid freaking lottery," I grumbled.

When I got back to work, I blamed Lee, telling him he's a bad influence on me; I never bought lotto tickets before he started bragging.

He took it pretty well. I guess he's used to it. Lucky bugger.

I Was Just Tickled Pink

2008-04-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

On my iGoogle page, I have a word of the day. Sometimes it's one I know, sometimes it's something new. Today, it was "gimcrack."

Gimcrack: a showy but useless or worthless object.

Everytime I saw it, I thought it was gimicrack. You know, like give me crack?

And it did. It gave me a chance to CRACK UP!! (Buh-dum-chhshh)

*Examples of gimcracks

If It's Timestamped After 10:00, It's A Serious One

2008-04-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I'm a hopeless romantic.

I try to pretend I'm not. Sometimes even I believe I'm not. I think it's because I'm not sure I really believe in "romance," at least not the kind that we read about in books and see on TV. I just can't believe that life can be that simple.

But I want to believe it.

Somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I still believe that one day I'll meet a man, and there will be swelling music and fireworks, and we'll just know. Sure, there will be obstacles (otherwise it would make a lousy plotline), but in the end, everything will work out in the most beautiful way possible because we're soul mates.

I don't even believe in soul mates.

Maybe I just plain watch too much TV Tonight I watched the last DVD of Season One of How I Met Your Mother. Ted has been crazy about Robin through the whole season, even though he's tried to get over her. Robin is crazy about Ted, too, but they can never seem to make it work. In the season finale, Ted goes to Robin and tells her he's crazy about her and wants to be with her, but he comes on too strong and Robin freaks out a little bit. She tells Ted that she's going on a company camping trip, where she's going to have dinner with a co-worker, the smarmy anchor of Metro One. Ted leaves, but refuses to give up. He asks an old girlfriend of Barney's to teach him a rain dance so Robin's trip will be canceled. Ted and Barney are on the roof of Ted's building, and Ted is dancing. Barney tells him it's not going to work, and Ted says, "I know it won't work, but I love her! So I know it won't work, but it has too, because we're meant to be together. Do you hear me, Universe? This is Ted Mosby speaking. Give me some rain! Come on! Come on!" And then it started pouring. Ted runs to Robin's apartment, and asks her to come down. She decides to go to him, opens the door, and he's standing there, soaking wet, and they fall into each others arms.

I really want to believe in that kind of romance. I want to so badly. It's not like I have any proof - things like that don't really happen to anyone. I think I just want to believe that kind of love is out there.

Maybe it's not healthy to believe in something that can't exist; or maybe believing in something as ethereal as romance gives us hope in a dreary world.

I don't have much hope in my dreary world lately. Even the thought of romance makes me sad, because I just can't see that happening for me, and I don't really want anything else (call me anti-feminist, but I don't want a career, I just want to get married and have kids). I'm trying to work on the obstacles to this goal, but it's all so overwhelming.

So, what's the verdict? Romantic, or realistic? Reason or hope? Am I kidding myself, or do people really fall in love? Is there still hope?

Me-me Thievery

2008-04-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

I stole this from Jessie's blog, who stole it from Elizabeth's blog. (I don't acutally know Elizabeth.)

Twenty years ago I...
1) Was an adorable little girl with curly hair
2) Had 4 siblings living at home
3) Played at my Grammy's almost every day

Ten years ago I...
1) Had Mr. Hypio, my favorite teacher of all time, for English and Science
2) Could see the light at the end of the tunnel that was Junior High hell.
3) Gained my own testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Five years ago I...
1) Was living in 215 T Hall at BYU
2) Started seeing a counselor for the first time
3) Had my first boyfriendish type person

Three years ago I...
1) Lived in New Zealand for 4 months
2) Had my first major surgery; and ovary removed, along with an cyst the size of a cantaloupe
3) Met Jessie, my favorite roommate ever! (I love you, Jess!)

One year ago I...
1) Got fired from my first job
2) Moved back home
3) Got a puppy!!

So far this year I have...
1) Rediscovered blogging
2) Read a LOT of books
3) Started and gave up on a diet

Yesterday I...
1) Caught up on Jeopardy!
2) Downloaded David Cook's performance of "Always Be My Baby
3) Played with the dogs and their new toys

Today I...
1) Learned that a Mercury Mountaineer costs less than a Toyota 4Runner.
2) Discovered I lost my wallet, then found it at the grocery store
3) Got a good look at the grape-purple bruise on my hip from falling over in my chair yesterday.

Tomorrow I will...
1) Sleep in!
2) Help clean a very dirty house
3) Give my car a bath (it's seriously dirty)

In the next year I may...
1) Get out of debt!
2) Move away from home and get back to my life
3) Finally see Washington D.C.!

I have some interesting blog ideas floating around in my head, but I haven't had time to do anything with them. Hopefully this weekend!

That's Gonna Leave a Mark

2008-04-24T10:20:00.001-07:00

I was at work, chatting with a co-worker and doing something else, possibly work-related.

The folder containing the checks from my dog food deliveries was leaning against the file cabinet, just out of reach.

I reached out for them, leaning over in my chair. "Just a little farther," I thought.

Then it happened. I felt the center of gravity shift. "A little farther" had become too far.

"Uh-oh." CRASH!!

I fell out of my office chair. Not actually out, so much as over, still in it.

The crash was followed by frantic calls of "Are you okay?!?"

I laid there for a while, basking in my mortification and the mild pain ememating from where I had landed on the chair's armrest.

My witty response? "Whoops. That's gonna leave a mark."

Not again!

2008-04-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

Remember this post where I freaked out because I found a gray hair (and I'm too bloody young for that)?

Today I pulled out three.

THREE.

And that wasn't even the most traumatic event of my day. Close, though.

American Idol

2008-04-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

Not much time for a recap, but I did catch Idol this week, and I just have to say - David Cook's redition of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby"?

Amazing!

If he came out with an album right now, I'd be all over faster than a redneck on bacon.

Still snowing. It's like a snowglobe here, I swear.

Alaska Pictures

2008-04-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

Lowman John Brown (L.J.)

Ashton and Aunt Betsy

Playing with blocks

Snowy snowy Alaska!

Alaska Update

2008-04-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

My new nephew L.J. is perfect and adorable and divine.

My neice Ashton is funny and sweet and a kick in the pants.

My brother Sam is quite possibly the best husband and father in the known universe.

It snowed all day yesterday. Apparantly Alaska is unaware that April means it's spring.

I brought my camera, but forgot my drive to load pictures, so they will have to wait. The links will take you to pictures in other places.

Life is fabulous!

A List of Things I'd Like to Tell You

2008-04-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

1.) American Idol - hallelujah! How glad are we that this girl is gone? Answer - SO GLAD.

2.) Remember the snarky Post Office experience a while back? Well, a few days later, this came.

If you can't read it, it says, "Damaged by Mechanical Equipment. Please accept our apologies," followed by "Returned for Better Address." What do these people want from me?

3.) If you read Vintage Thirty, you might remember the post Tootsie Farklepants wrote about blue sheep butts. If you're about to click on that link, the good stuff is in the comments. I was reminded of this while putting inventory in at work recently. This is a product we carry that is used to determine when cows are in heat:

Let's just zoom in on that bottom corner, shall we?

Okay, seriously? How freaking funny is that? Just in case you can't quite figure out what this product is for, we'll illustrate it for you. And notice that it's two female cows. Actually, there's a reason for that, but it's funnier if you don't know it.

4.) You know how "Spring Fever" doesn't really refer to body temperature, but to a fit of looniness? Well, I had my first bout the other day. It involved singing a Primary song, complete with actions.

I looked out the window

And what did I see?
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise
Popcorn popping right before my eyes.

I can take an armful and make a treat
A popcorn ball that would smell so sweet
It wasn't really so,
But it seemed to me
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!

5.) So. Have you heard I'm going to Alaska? I'm kind of excited about it. I'm leaving in 2 1/2 days. Two days and 14 hours, to be exact. I might be outside of the blogosphere for a while, so try not to miss me too much. I know it'll be hard, but just do your best.

6.) You may recognize this little baby from my Christmas wish list.

Well, I bought one yesterday. It's just a silver one, because it was $65 cheaper than the colors. I am so not paying $65 just for red. This purchase was necessary because my ancient iPod Mini finally crapped out. Totally. No worko. And once you go iPod, you can never go back.

7.) And finally, in case you missed the memo, I'm about to go on kind of a big trip. I've got a four hour lay-over in Seattle. Can anyone recommend a really good book? I've been having a hard time finding one lately.

Hugs and kisses, Blogger friends!

Carlos Mencia: The Bee-ner Movie

2008-04-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched Carlos Mencia? If you haven't, you're missing out. He's on Comedy Central - his show is called "Mind of Mencia." He's a little crass. Okay, he's a lot crass. But he is freaking hilarios! He makes the most hysterical race jokes you've ever heard, but he makes fun of everyone, so it's not racism. Here's a clip.

A disclaimer for my more sensitive readers: This clip is mostly okay, but if you're easily offended, you should probably skip this post all-together.

Funny, no?

A few months ago, my Felicia and I were judging a speech meet, which acutally involves a lot more sitting around than judging. Neither of us had though to bring a book, so we amused ourselves doodling.

It was about the time The Bee Movie was in theaters. We combined Carlos Mencia and an animated Jerry Seinfeld, and this is what we came up with:

It's a little blurry, but I think you can get the gist. To get the full effect, you have to imagine each drawing as an animated, talking character. The cast: Beaner, Cracker, Oreo, DeeDeeDee, Nappy-Headed Ho, and the Midget.

Oh, man, I crack myself up. I crack Felicia up too. We really should have sent this in to Carlos. Maybe it's not too late.

Okay, seriously? I am funny as hell.

The Happy Dance: A Tutorial

2008-03-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

The first step in a really excellent Happy Dance is having something to be excited about.

For example:

This is my brother.

This is his wife.

They are having a baby! And I am going to Alaska to help them when the baby is born, mostly to help take care of their daughter, the most adorable girl in the world.

I'll be flying to Alaska to stay with them for 10 days. Almost everyone in my family has been to Alaska except for me (and my sister) and I'm excited just to go. Another perk is that my they are paying for my ticket with their sky miles. Hooray! Trip to Alaska! Free trip to Alaska! Hanging out with my brother, sister-in-law and niece! Being the first in my family to meet my new nephew!

See? Something to be happy about!

There is something else that makes the difference between a mediocre Happy Dance and a great Happy Dance - a chant. The chant should be short and rhythmic.

For example:

"I'm goin' to Ala-ska! I'm goin' to Ala-ska!"

Once you have something to be excited about, and a chant to go with it, it's time to learn the moves. Have a look at the following diagram.

Keep practicing! Before you know it, you'll have a Happy Dance that will be the envy of the neighborhood.

****
P.S. - What do they call lesbians in Alaska? -- Klon-dykes

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Man, that cracks me up.

Get it? Klondike? Dykes? Ha-ha-ha-ah-ha-ha!

American Idol: Top 10

2008-03-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

Surprise of the Night
Michael Johns

After weeks of skating by on his good looks and Australian accent, this guy ROCKED IT last night! He finally found his groove with "We Are the Champions."

I'm Torn
David Archuleta

This kid is crazy talented, but sometimes I just don't know. He sang some unknown song, and while it was good, it was a little cheesy. Simon said it reminded him of something you'd see at an amusement park with animated characters. It reminded me of We Are The World.

Can't you just see him holding hands with Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder?

No Surprises Here
David Cook

Can this guy do no wrong? Once again, he took a huge risk with his arrangement of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." It could have been awful or fabulous. It was fabulous. I love that he can take those huge risks and make them work. He might just be the winner!

Who's Leaving?
My guess is that it will be Ramiele (Heaven, I hope so! She's been sucking it up for weeks!). I'm not sure about the bottom three, though. I'm thinking Ramiele, Chekezie and sadly, Jason.

True Love = Clipping Each Other's Toenails

2008-03-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

Both my parents have a hard time getting around.

My dad has had both of his hips replaced, and he had this weird problem with is ankles that makes it hard for him to walk. He has to wear braces that come half-way up his leg just to walk around during the day.

My mom has been limping badly for the last few months. After several doctors appointments, she was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, and condition in which the spinal cord narrows and pinches the spinal cord.

Both of them have a hard time reaching their toes. Their bodies just don't move like that anymore.

Yesterday morning, I was up early (earlier than I needed to be, not early) making brownies for Easter. From my parent's room, I heard my dad say, "What did you need done, ma'am?" Mom's voice doesn't carry as well, so I heard some mumbling from her.

The next thing I heard was click! snap! clip! I realized that my dad was clipping my mom's toenails for her, since she couldn't reach them herself.

That's true love, people.

Red Tape Woes

2008-03-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

My brother Steve has been having some bureaucracy issues. He lost his driver's license a while back, and he's been hacking through red tape to get it back. Here's an example of a conversation he had with a representative of the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Steve: Do you have everything you need?
DMV Lady: We got your money.
Steve: Did you get everything else?
DMV Lady: Well, you need to renew the contract on your interlock device.
Steve: I signed a contract for 13 months.
DMV Lady: You have to sign it for three years.
Steve: When did they decide that? I have my initial revocation letter right here, and it says a minimum of 12 months.
DMV Lady: Well, in your case it’s three years.
Steve: Was there a hearing? When?
DMV Lady: No, there wasn’t a hearing.
Steve: So how did they decide on three years?
DMV Lady: I don’t know. Would you like me to transfer you to the Hearing Department?
Steve: But you just said there wasn’t a hearing!
DMV Lady: I’ll transfer you to the Hearing Department. They can help you.
Steve: {Sigh}

Hold music

Recorded Message: All our representatives are busy at this time. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Hold music.

Hold music

More . . . hold . . . music.

Steve: Aaaaauuuuugggghhhh!!! $@^&!@*! {Hangs up, recalls original number and gets same DMV Lady.}

Steve: Okay, fine, how long do I need to have a contract for the interlock device?
DMV Lady: Two years and 30 days from today.
Steve: Excuse me?
DMV Lady: Two years and 30 days from this today.
Steve: But you just told me three years 30 minutes ago!
DMV Lady: Would you like me to transfer you to the Hearing Department?

To See the Humor, Open Your Eyes

2008-03-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

We had another huge flier go out last week. Don't even ask me about that. It was a nightmare, combined with annoying coworkers (okay, coworker) and a heck of a lot of money. Oooh, I'm mad just thinking about it. The point is, it took up almost all of my time last week. I was folding those stupid fliers at home.

These fliers are our main system of advertisement, and we send them to our customers as a bulk mailing through the Post Office. The other day, this came. I can't imagine what they would possibly find wrong with this:

Is it me, or is that just the slightest bit snarky? Look at that finger pointing to nothing. You can practically see "Stupid!" written underneath. Some smart-ass at the USPS thought they were being funny. Lucky for them, I find both smart-assness and irony highly amusing. In fact, I would be interested to know if the person who stamped it saw the irony, or if they just did it because of procedure. If it's the former, I'd like to be their friend. If it's the later, they're seriously missing out.

On an entirely different note, something happened the other day that reaffirmed my decision to move back to Colorado. I knew I made the right decision, and I was so glad to be back home, but I've been restless lately. I was coming down the hill on the way to work and I saw this:

It's not the greatest picture, seeing as how it was still mostly dark and all, but you get the drift. It was the most spectacular sunrise I've ever seen. The sun coming up over the Rockies - that's why I live in Colorado.

It also got me thinking. How often to we miss beauty because we are too wrapped up in ourselves. I came so close to missing this amazing sunrise, because I was busy thinking about my life, my day, my dog, my family . . . me, me, me. Sure, it's just a sunrise, this time. But how many times to we miss the beauty of a child, or one person doing good for another? Do we really notice it? It reminds me of the John Mayer song, "3x5".

Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'.
And strange, how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
Are next to mountains anyway.
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I could see the world through both my eyes.
Maybe I will tell you all about it
When I'm in the mood to lose my way.
But let me say,
You should have seen that sunrise
With your own eyes.
It brought me back to life.
You'll be with me next time I go outside,
Just no more 3x5's.

Okay, it doesn't apply quite as well as I thought it did, but I still think there's an important message there. Maybe if we open our eyes more, we'll witness more of the beauty around us.

American Idol: Top 11

2008-03-19T09:13:00.001-07:00

Last night was the worst episode of American Idol this season. The Beatles two weeks in a row? What were they thinking?

None of the performances were spectacular. I think the contestants used up all their spectacular last week, with the exception of David Archuleta, who used no spectacular last week, unless you define spectacular as forgetting the lyrics. He did much better this week, with McCartney's "Long Winding Road," but still no fireworks.

I thought the best performances of the night were by Chikezie (who, I'm convinces, uses only his first name because his last name is utterly unpronounceable) and Syesha.

Chikezie sang "I've Just Seen a Face." He started out slow and ballady, but kicked it up and turned it into a bluegrass number. He also played a harmonica, which was a ridiculous attempt to be like everyone else in the instrument department. The slow part didn't do much for the performance, but once he got into it, I thought it was a lot of fun.

Syesha was the best performance of the night with an amazing performance of "Yesterday." It was heartfelt and beautifully sung. Plus, her dress was great. Simon said it was the song Brooke should have sung, which I felt was rude of him, especially when Syesha did such a great job.

Honorable mentions also go to Carly Smithson with "Blackbird" and Brooke White with "Here Comes the Sun." Both of them got flayed by the judges, but I thought they were both great. Carly actually only got flayed by Simon, who thought the message of the song was bad, but it was good to hear her sing a song ballad instead of belting it with her big fat voice. Brooke's performance was, admittedly, not her best. She kind of flailed around in her dancing, but it was clear she was having fun, and that was infectious. She took the criticism of the judges with incredible grace, even going so far as to agree with Randy when he said she was a little awkward. "Yeah," she said, "I am a little awkward when I move."

I'm torn between Kristy Lee and Ramiele for who should go home. Neither of them are that great, but at least Kristy Lee has been bringing her best to the table. Ramiele's just not doing it for me. And I'm still made David Hernandez was kicked off. Stupid America.

**Photos are, as always, from last week.

Influ-freaking-enza

2008-03-17T10:05:00.001-07:00

I spent practically all of Thursday night like this. Only I didn't look this good. Trust me.

The rest of the weekend was spent mostly like this. And I felt like a little kid, too.

Stupid freaking flu. I realize now how all those people died from it in 1918. They literally puked their guts out.

And because I'm a dork, I feel the need to point out that the Flu Epidemic of 1918 was acutally the Spanish Influenza, an extreme strain that's no longer around. I'm kind of embarrased that I know that.

Anyway, I'm better and my co-worker is back from her vacation, so work won't be so crazy. I'm back, and I'm stress and puke free!

You know you're excited.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-03-12T08:23:00.001-07:00

This is how I feel this week. Between fliers going out, invoices coming in and Primary, I've been working like crazy. If you're looking for your American Idol recap, sorry - I recorded it, but I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Check back tomorrow!

Lights, Camera, Action: The Answers

2008-03-08T21:31:00.000-08:00

1. "I'd like to make an offer on the house. This is what I can pay, minus the work on the place, and a rental car to drive off a cliff when this all turns out to have been a terrible mistake."
Answer: Under the Tuscan Sun

2. “...Perky breasts!”
“Roberta, you know I don't like it when you swear."
“Chrissy, breast is not a dirty word.”
“I can't hear you.”
“Breast.”
“Can't hear you.”
“Breast.”
“Can't hear you.”
“BREAST!”
Answer: Now and Then
Solved by Laurel

3. “Yeah, this is where it fell. Or, if you want to get really specific, up there is where this weird bloody necklace came and knocked it out of the heavens while it was minding it's own business. And over there is where it landed. And right here... this is where it got hit by a magical flying moron.”
Answer: Stardust
Solved by Jessie

4. “I found you in hell. Don't you think I could find you in Jersey?”
Answer: What Dreams May Come

5. “She's like the air to me.”
Answer: A Walk in the Clouds

6. “I'm no friggin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?”
Answer: Moonstruck
Solved by Laurel and Jessie

7. “Men develop appetites when they are twelve, muscles when they are sixteen, and principles only after they are married.”
Answer: If a Man Answers

8. “And now, my beauties, something with poison in it, I think. Something with poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell. Poppies... Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleep. Now they'll sleep!”
Answer: The Wizard of Oz
Solved by Jessie

9. “I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's MOST unusual.”
Answer: Roman Holiday

10. "What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."
Answer: It's a Wonderful Life
Solved by Laurel and Jessie

11. "Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
Answer: The Manchurian Candidate
Solved by Sara

12. "1.21 gigawatts? 1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!"
"What the hell is a gigawatt?"
Answer: Back to the Future
Solved by Jessie

13. "It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights."
Answer: The Italian Job

14. "Are you nuts? She clearly prefers gas pump jockeys to millionaires. What do you want to do? Disillusion the poor girl?"
Answer: How to Marry a Millionaire

15. "Joel, hide me in your humiliation!"
Answer: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Solved by Jessie

Good Night and Good Luck: American Idol Losers

2008-03-07T14:48:00.000-08:00

And by "losers," I mean lost the competition, not as a reflection of personal worth.

Finally! This guy just drove me nuts. I was worried that the 13-year-old-girl vote would keep him in there, but the 13-ers made the right choice.

Ah, Luke. I was so torn about you. You're so cute, with your strong-jawed, dimpled scruffiness, but you just weren't that good. Not that you were bad, you just weren't as good as you could have been. I wanted to like you. I really did.

Again, finally! She's a very cute girl and all, but she just wasn't up to snuff. She's young, she'll get better.

NNNNNOOOooooooo! She was my very favorite girl. I'm devastated. Okay, I'm not devastated, being as it's a TV show and all, but I am disapointed. I didn't think she would win, but I would have loved watching her for a few more weeks.

A.I. Girls and Condors in Hats

2008-03-06T12:35:00.000-08:00

First off, the recap top 8 girl performances from American Idol:

Best Use of Advice
Kristy Lee Cook

Kristy Lee hasn't really been phenomenal this season. She's acutally pretty forgetable. Last week after she sang . . . some song (see? Forgetable), Simon advised her to try for more of a country feel, to really find herself. This week, she applied his advice! I love it when contestants take the advice of the judges - they're professionals and they know what they're talking about. Except for Paula.

Best Run
Carly Smithson

I definitly think Carly is the best girl in the competition. That doesn't mean she's my favorite (that would be Asia'h), but there's not doubt she's incredibly talented. In her performance last night, she sang and run so long and complicated, I felt out of breath for her! Plus, she hit every single note dead on. I would kill for her talent.

Best Performance
Syesha Mercado

I felt like Syesha got gyped last night. She was very last, and the judges had spent so much time yammering (what, were they all on sugar highs? They were like little kids!) that by the time she finished, they all only had two words for her (literally) and then the show ended. It was a real shame, because she did an incredible job. It wasn't the most difficult song ever, but it was solid. She sang with feeling, she nailed every note without hesitation, and get a load of those legs!

And here's a suprise:

Most Fun
Amanda Overmyer!

What? I acutally liked Amanda? What's going on here? She was really good! First of all, her look is better - straight, simple hair and normal clothes with some great accent pieces. She was also one of the few girls to sing a fast-paced song. Her redition of "I Hate Myself For Loving You" was the perfect song for here. It was rock, but it was more on the blues side than the hard rock. Go Amanda!

So who do I think should go? It a tough choice this time, and the last night 4 people will leave.

For the boys: Danny Noriega and Luke Menard, Michael Johns or Chikezie. I have a hard time choosing between the last three. I want to like Luke and Michael; they both have tons of charisma, plus, they're adorable. They're just not that good. I didn't like Chikezie at first, but his last performance was great. I'm torn.

For the girls: Kady Malloy (she's just not that good!) and Ramiele Malubay (she was good at first, but her last few performances haven't been worth much).

And now, on to Condors In Hats.

My life has been kind of stressful lately, and when I get stressed out (or sad, or angry, or excited, or busy) I have weird dreams. It's usually not that big of a deal - I often have weird dreams. When I'm experienced any intense emotion, though, they get weirder and weirder.

Last night? After I was screwed out of the flute performance (I haven't played flute since high school) I worked so hard on, a bunch of condors in suits and fedoras walked in. That's right. Condors. In fedoras. Only they were ultra-creepy, Dark Crystal-esque condors. Think this

combined with this.

And everyone in my dream was like, "Hey! Condors in hats! Whatever." And I was thinking, "Hello! Giant flesh-eating birds!"

Where do I come up with this stuff?

Lights, Camera, Action

2008-03-05T17:45:00.001-08:00

I borrowed this from Vingtage Thirty.

1. Pick fifteen of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. No Googling or using IMDB search functions. THIS MEANS YOU!
6. Leave your answer(s) in the comments.

1. "I'd like to make an offer on the house. This is what I can pay, minus the work on the place, and a rental car to drive off a cliff when this all turns out to have been a terrible mistake."

2. “...Perky breasts!”
“Roberta, you know I don't like it when you swear."
“Chrissy, breast is not a dirty word.”
“I can't hear you.”
“Breast.”
“Can't hear you.”
“Breast.”
“Can't hear you.”
“BREAST!”

3. “Yeah, this is where it fell. Or, if you want to get really specific, up there is where this weird bloody necklace came and knocked it out of the heavens while it was minding it's own business. And over there is where it landed. And right here... this is where it got hit by a magical flying moron.”

4. “I found you in hell. Don't you think I could find you in Jersey?”

5. “She's like the air to me.”

6. “I'm no friggin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?”

7. “Men develop appetites when they are twelve, muscles when they are sixteen, and principles only after they are married.”

8. “And now, my beauties, something with poison in it, I think. Something with poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell. Poppies... Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleep. Now they'll sleep!”

9. “I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's MOST unusual.”

10. "What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."

11. "Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

12. "1.21 gigawatts? 1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!"
"What the hell is a gigawatt?"

13. "It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you know, five people died from smoking in between traffic lights."

14. "Are you nuts? She clearly prefers gas pump jockeys to millionaires. What do you want to do? Disillusion the poor girl?"

15. "Joel, hide me in your humiliation!"

American Idol: Top 8 Boys

2008-03-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

Welcome back for another American Idol recap! Last night the top 8 boys preformed music from the 80's: and they rocked! I can't remember the last time I saw an episode with that many good performances. In fact, there weren't really any bad ones (well, maybe one) which made this kind of hard today. And now, without further ado -

Best Arrangement
David Cook with Lionel Richie's "Hello"

David took this kind of sad, very ballad-y song and roughed it up. Randy called it "emo" but I just thought it rocked. It came out as a kind of bluesy-rock power ballad. It was amazing, and I loved that he took a risk and nailed it! So did Simon. He said "That was a very brave thing to do . . . and I loved it."

Most Talented
David Archuleta

I know, I know, I raved about him last week, but the kid is amazing. This week he sang a slower version of "Another Day in Paradise" and he started out at the piano. It wasn't his best performance, but it was still incredible, which just goes to show how talented he really is. And man, does that kid know how to schmooze!

Worst Performance
Danny Noriega

Ugh. He sang one of my all-time favorite songs, "Tainted Love" but it was so girly I could hardly stand it. I know it's his style, but he takes the emo thing (it applies here, not to David Cook, Randy!) way too far. From the uber-tight leather pants to the bumping hips and pocket hook, it just ruined the song for me. But not forever.

Best Performance
David Hernandez

This picture is actually from last week (all of them are, since the Idol people are so lame and don't post pictures right away). I just thought you all might appreciate that cute tush. But back to important issues - David had the guts to sing Celine Dion last night. He sang "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" and all the reasons I love him came back to me. Not only is he gorgeous, but he's got tons of charisma, he knows how to work the cameras, and he's got an amazing voice. I mean, the guy actually pulled off Celine Dion! Not an easy feat! Plus, he looked into the camera with those chocolate brown eyes, and I swooned.

You may or may not have heard the latest dirt on David H. For the last 3 years, he has worked as a male stripper in Phoenix. In a mostly male club. I'm not a fan of the whole stripping thing, but who am I to judge? In my opinion, his discription of the "pea-sized booger" on his nose during a photo shoot (he mentioned it when talking about his most embarrasing moment) managed to cancel out the stripper thing in my mind.

Coming up tonight, the top 8 girls! They're going to have a hard time keeping up with the boys, but we'll see how they do.

And okay, okay, I know I talked about all the Davids last week, but can I help it if they're the best ones?

For the Love of Farnsworth*

2008-03-04T14:22:00.000-08:00

There seems to be an anti-TV epedemic going around. Laurel, over at The Tea Party Place, has been spouting some craziness about giving up TV for a year. Everyone is being all supportive, but I know Laurel comes over here regularly, so Laurel? I think you're nuts. I mean, go ahead and do it if you want, but I don't know what you did to make you do something so mean to yourself. The madness continues at Vintage Thirty. Tootsie Farklepants discusses the shortcomings of TV here.

And now it's time for my shocking confession for the day. I LOVE TV. Love. It. Acutally, I love stories in all forms; books, television, movies. I know it's a form of escapism, but frankly, my dear, I just don't give a damn. (Oh, how dorky was that?). And so, for those of you who share my love for the good ol' Boob Tube, or for those who have forgotten or forsaken the joys of television: a run-down of my favorite shows. Because you know you care.

Bones
Love it, love it, love it. In fact, I love it so much I've already blogged about it here. Forgive the rambling - I think I was sick when I wrote that. The point is, it's a fabulous show with a different take on the whole crime-fighting premise, and a flawed but lovable main character. And there's a new episode coming April 14th! (Stupid writer's strike and American Idol.)

Grey's Anatomy
I don't care how cliche it is, I love this show. I get so into the lives of the characters that my friend Felicia and I talk about them like they're real people. I have to say, I was wary after the end of season 3 (what with the whole infidelity arc), but I've been pleasantly suprised by season 4. I should have know better than to doubt Shonda Rhimes, the fabulous creator of Grey's. I also love her new Private Practice, which will be back in the fall. There's a new episode of Grey's scheduled to run April 24.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
This show makes me cry every time, without exception. It touches me to watch communities come together to help people in need, especially when those people are usually so inspiring themselves. It gives me warm fuzzies to watch people helping others with no expectation for a reward (other than ratings, I guess). It revives my hope in mankind, the hope that stupid shows like Nip/Tuck wear down.

Eli Stone: Best New Show
This show just aired about a month ago, but I love it. Some people are comparing it to Ally McBeal, and there are definite similarities, but Eli Stone is more uplifting. It's about a tough lawyer who starts having hallucinations. He worries he's going crazy, but it turns out that he has a brain anurism, and the visions have relevance to his life. He sees a Berkley educated accupuncturist who assumes a Chinese accent for his clients, and who convinces Eli that he might be a prophet. It's a show with great characters and fun plots, about one guy trying to make a difference.

Dharma & Greg: Best Old Show
The only place you can find Dharma & Greg anymore is on WE, which is a shame, because it's a hysterical show. I love a story that can make me laugh out loud. I love the extremes between Dharma's hippie parents and Greg's snooty, socialite parents. If you're looking for great characters, this show is a winner. Good luck watching it though. It's even hard to get on DVD.

To all you TV haters: Ha! So there! Oh, and a gift for those who are concerned about the fate of their favorite shows after the lame-o writer's strike: TV Guide's Post-Strike Coverage

*Bonus Question: If anyone can tell me how the title of this post relates to the topic (hint: TV), I'll give you a prize.

From Me to Me

2008-03-01T15:58:00.000-08:00

I had lunch with my BFF (what am I, 13?) Felicia yesterday. We started talking about something we talk about often - how much we hate being adults. This subject always seems to come up when we get together and start talking about our lives, basically meaning our jobs and our bills. This is pretty much how the conversation usually goes:

"I hate being an adult."
"Me too. Being an adult sucks."
"You know how when you're a teenager, you think you're going to have so much freedom as an adult?"
"Yeah."
"That is such bulls***"
"Yep, total crap."
"When you're an adult, you don't have any freedom! You have to work all the time so you can pay bills, and you're still broke!"
"Ugh, bills. I don't want to talk about it. It stresses me out."

That's the generic conversation. This last time, it took the twist of discussing what we would tell ourselves if we could go back in time and talk to ourselves. In the spirit of this conversation, here is what I would say to my 15-year-old self. The responses of "myself" are obviously hypothetical, as I have no way of knowing what "myself" would say.

ME: Hi. I'm you, and I need to talk to you.
MYSELF: Really? How old are you?
ME: Almost 24. Now -
MYSELF: Who did I marry? How many kids do I have.
ME: I don't know. And none, so far.
MYSELF: But -
ME: Will you just listen! I have some things to tell you.
MYSELF: What kind of things?
ME: Okay, you're ready to listen now? Because this stuff is important. Here we go.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. You don't have to put up with people treating you badly.

You are NOT FAT. I know you got picked on for being fat. I know you think you're fat. But you are NOT! But if you keep thinking such bad things about yourself and eating for comfort, you will be.

Be nice to your mother. She loves you, and she'll save your life. Save your money. I cannot stress this enough! Save everything you can.

You'll meet a girl named Josalyn your freshman year of college. Stay away from her. You'll make other friends. Just trust me.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't worth much. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are.

Don't worry about boys. I know all your friends have boyfriends and I know you're lonely, but trust me. They are more trouble than they are worth.

Did I mention that you should save your money? Oh, and when Mom talks you into getting a credit card for emergencies, ONLY USE IT FOR EMERGENCIES.

Major in something like Business or English Lit, not Recreation Management. It won't be as fun, but will be more rewarding.

Oh, and save your money.

Back by Popular Demand: American Idol Results

2008-02-29T08:53:00.001-08:00

And by "popular demand," I mean because Jessie said so.

In case you missed the American Idol results show, and you depend solely upon me for your American Idol fodder, here's who left the show last night.

These are the girls I predicted would leave, but both of the girls I chose were in the last two. So close! I wasn't all the impressed with Alaina. She wasn't bad, but she wasn't really good either. She's only 17, though, she still has a long way to go. I did like Alexandrea. Her last performance wasn't that great - she picked a really safe song, and she looked terrible - but she really has a great voice. I think she would have been a force to be reckoned with on the show.

But seriously, neither of these girls should have left yet. I stand by my verdict: Amanda is awful, and I had to change the channel when Kady sang. Even Kady knew she should have left - she looked awfully suprised when she heard Alaina was out and she was safe.

BAM! Right on. Who's amazing? That's right - me. Did I call it or what?

Here's the deal with these guys. At the risk of sounding homophobic (which I'm not, I swear) Jason was just too fairy-ish. Danny Noriega is too (he's clearly gay), but he manages to do it in a fashionable, teenage-boy-emo sort of way. Jason is just a Michael Buble style flamer. Although, come to think of it, I'm not sure Michael Buble is a flamer. But you get the drift. As far as Robbie goes, his was mostly a case of supply and demand. There just wasn't enought room for two rockers (three if you count Amanda) on the show, and he got out-sung by David Cook.

Join me next week for American Idol recaps!

American Idol: Girls

2008-02-28T08:18:00.000-08:00

I have to say, overall, I don't think the girls are nearly as entertaining as the boys. My prediction is that we'll have a guy American Idol this year. That said, last night's show was a lot of fun. The best part was that Simon seemed to be in an unusually good mood, and there was very little bickering. I wish Ryan would stop snubbing Simon - it's getting a little too "Junior High girl" for my taste.

And now, without further ado, THE GIRLS!

Best Performance:
Brooke White

She sang Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" and she rocked it! I also like the guitar performances that are being done this year. When Brooke came out with that guitar, I was nervous, but it worked! It was the perfect song for her, the perfect style, and even though she sat the whole time, she still managed a killer performance.

Best Vocals:
Carly Smithson

This girl has got one big voice! Most of the girl can belt it, but Carly belts it well. Plus, she's got that cute hint of an Irish accent.

Worst Look:
Amanda Overmyer

Y'all. She looks like Cruella Deville. What was she thinking? I'm not a fan of the outfit, either, although it might have worked without the horrible hair. Her performance was lousy too. She wants to be a rocker, but she just doesn't have the chops.

Overall Favorite:
Asia'h Epperson

Despite the cheesy name spelling, I'm totally picking up what this girl is putting down. Last night she sang Celine Dion, and Simon told her she almost got it, but just wasn't good enough to pull it off. I have to say, I agree. It wasn't the best song choice for her, although she did come amazingly close. I just love her personality and her willingness to take risks. This picture is from last week, since this week she had her hair straightened. Why anyone would straighten great curls like that is beyond me.

My votes for who should go: Robbie Carrico, Jason Yeager, Amanda Overmyer and Kady Malloy.

American Idol: Boys

2008-02-26T20:22:00.000-08:00

I have a confession. I watch American Idol. And I like it.

I'm a discriminating fan. I didn't watch last season, for example. I tried, but it felt like watching a high school talent show. I just couldn't take it.

This season looks to be shaping up nicely. Here are my picks from the top 20 boys:

Best Personality:
David Cook

In his pre-performance interview, he admitted to being a "word nerd." Then they showed a montage of his spouting big words, like "juxtaposition." Suddenly, I'm in love (and a little hot and bothered). What can I say? I'm a word nerd myself, and I find it kind of sexy. I'm a sucker for intelligent conversation.

Are you a word nerd? Try Free Rice. I've made it to level 40, but I'm consistently a 38. If David Cook could score higher than me, I'd marry him.

Best Vocals:
David Archuleta

This kid is 17, and he is A-MAZING. Tonight he sang "Imagine All the People" by John Lennon, a very risky choice. Even riskier, he made dramatic changes to the melody. I don't even particularly like that song, but I LOVED his performance. Instead of sounding like a pathetic remake, he made it his own song with stunning vocals.

Biggest Hot Factor:
David Hernandez (Got a thing for those Davids, don't I?)

Three words: OH. MY. GAWD. He's beautiful. Olive skin, piercing, sexy brown eyes, and subtle dimples. I want to have his babies. And nibble on his ear.

Overall Favorite:
Jason Castro

I missed most of his performance tonight due to commercial channel flipping. I did manage to make it back in time for the judges comments, and they didn't like him. I saw him last week, though, and he was fabulous (do I say fabulous too much?). He played the acoustic guitar while singing, and he had a very Jack Johnson-y vibe. I'm not crazy about the dreads, but I can totally groove to his mellow strains.

Verdicts on the girls tomorrow!

You Might Be a Redneck . . .

2008-02-22T09:57:00.000-08:00

To steal a line from Jeff Foxworthy:

If your local Wendy's can't spell frosty,

you might be a redneck.

Or, at the very least, you live in a redneck town.

Still Here . . . Sort of

2008-02-19T14:57:00.000-08:00

I'm going to let you all in on my secret.

I have depression.

I'm not talking about the blues. I'm not feeling down. I'm talking about serious, can't-get-out-of-bed, must-be-on-medication depression. When I tell people, they always ask me if I'm on medication, and I always laugh. If I wasn't on medication, I would be in bed ALL THE TIME. I need the medication to function.

The thing is, like any other disease, sometimes this depression thing flares up, for no apparant reason. This is one of those times. I'm weak, sad, anxious and feeling hopeless. I know this will pass eventually, it's just a matter of how long it will take.

It's hard to not be able to go to work, or do my church calling. I know it looks a lot like laziness, but I really want to go to work. I want to go to Primary! I just can't seem to do it. I went to work for four hours yesterday. It was the longest four hours of my life, and when I came home, I was a mess. I've been trying to talk myself into going for three hours now, and I can't do it. I just can't.

So now you know where I've been. Have you seen the "Depression Hurts" commercials? I've been there. I can't watch, those, by the way. They hit a little too close to home.

I know it's pretty much impossible for people who have never experienced major depression to understand how debilitating it can be. It's not really something you can explain, either. Emotional pain this bad is beyond imagination.

I've been dealing with this for almost 10 years now, so I'm very open about the whole things. If you know someone with depression, and you have questions about what they are going through or how you can help them, feel free to ask.

Hijacked!

2008-02-09T08:59:00.000-08:00

I hijacked this meme from Madame Queen. I thought it looked like so much fun, I just couldn't resist.

The Rules: Answer the questions below using only images from the first page of your Google Image search. [Ed. note: When I first read this, I thought it said "using only the first image from your Google Image search. This is MUCH easier.]

1. The age you will be on your next birthday. Don't hate me because I'm young.

2. A place you'd like to visit.

3. Your favorite place. Te Anau, New Zealand

4. Your favorite object. Madame Queen stole my answer!

5. Your favorite food.

6. Your favorite animal.

7. Your favorite color.

8. The city in which you were born. Circa 1930. Not when I was born.

9. The town in which you live. How embarrassing.

10. The name of your pet.

11. The first name of your love. Your guess is as good as mine.

12. Your nickname/screen name. Think "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

13. Your middle name.

14. Your last name.

15. A bad habit of yours. Don't hate me because I'm fat, either.

16. Your first job. Except we didn't look like this. Not. Even. Close.

17. Your dream job.

18. Your current job. Thank you, Nepotism!

19. A picture you find hilarious. These guys crack me up.

20. A picture that inspires you.

****
I've been MIA for a while. Things have been weird. I think I'm back now.

I love Disneyland!

2008-02-01T11:11:00.001-08:00

Okay, seriously. I had SO MUCH FUN in Disneyland. I only have a few pictures to post, as Jessie is sending me a disc. She took all the pictures because she's like five times more amazing than me, and her camera is a billion times more amazing than mine.

So, on Thursday I drove out to Cedar City to meet up with Jason and Jessie. I left my car parked at my aunt and uncle's and we drove their Prius (which I love) to Victorville. It was a long drive. We had reservations an a Motel 6 (oh, the class) just off the freeway. Jessie said it was a creepy hotel, but I didn't really notice. I just took off my bra and crawled into bed, wearing the same clothes.

I did notice in the middle of the night when someone tried to come into our room, though. It wasn't someone trying to break in - they had a key. The hotel had double booked our room. Luckily, we had fastened the chain, so they couldn't get in. Jason pulled up the curtain and looked out, at which the guy said, "Hey! There's someone in there!" The girl said, "No way!" And he said, "Yes! Someone just peeked out at me!"

My hotel standards are pretty low, but strangers coming in while I'm sleeping definitly crosses into creepy territory.

The next day, we drove the rest of the way to Disneyland and met up with my cousin Randy, who works for Disney. He signed me in on his pass, so I got in for free! I love Randy. The first thing we did was Space Mountain. I hadn't been on it since the remodel, and it was fabulous! It's my favorite. It was a fantastic day - it rained a little bit in the morning, just enough to keep people away. I didn't wait in a line more the 20 minutes the whole trip. It was perfect.

Oh my gosh, we saw SO MANY characters! It was definitly the most I've ever seen in Disneyland. Maybe they were just easier to spot because there weren't crowds, but I saw some people I didn't even know were at Disneyland! We tried to keep count, but it was too hard. Here's what I can remember: Cruella Deville, Minnie and Mickey Mouse, Pluto, Goofy, Peter Pan, Cinderella, Honest John, Pooh, Tigger, Eyeore, Brer Bear, Jack Sparrow (not acutally Johnny Depp, we checked) Mary Poppins and Bert, and that's all I can think of, but I know I'm missing some. But heck! That's 15 right there! And Mary Poppins! I was estatic. I was embarrased how excited I was to see her. She was fabulous, too. The Bert was okay - he acted really well, but he didn't look anything like Dick VanDyke.

We also went over to California Adventure, which is a bit of a letdown, but it had Tower of Terror and California Screamin'. I was nervous to go on Tower of Terror because I have this thing about falling, but it was unbelievably fun. Totally scared the pants off me, though. California Screamin' is - no joke - the best roller coaster I've ever been on. It shoots off, leaving your stomach behind, and then it's filled with fantastic drops and turns, and even a loop, which is amazing.

I think my favorite part of the whole two days was the parade. I loved it! It started out with fairies - Cinderella's Fairy Godmother, the fairy from Pinnochio, and FLORA, FAUNA & MERRYWEATHER!! I was so excited. There was a float with Tink on top and Peter Pan driving. That was followed by a Beauty and the Beast float, complete with dancing flatware, then an Ariel float being chased by Ursula. The princesses came last. Frankly, I was happy after seeing the 3 Good Fairies and Tink.

Three highlights of the trip: 1) The parade 2) Turtle Talk with Crush 3) Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (I know I didn't write about it, but it's so fun!).

Two lessons I learned from Disneyland: 1) Your most comfortable shoes are not comfortable enough, unless you're Jessie and your boots are made of clouds. 2) All rides are better in the back!

And We're Back!

2008-01-29T12:44:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Disneyland. It was wonderful. Disney-licious. I gained back four of the five pounds I've lost. How does that happen? I walked for 6 hours, for two days straight, but I gained weight. Whatever. Pictures to come, as soon as I get mine.

So, here's a question. What does one do when one's life turns out to be not at all what one had planned?

Gettin' Jiggy with Disney!

2008-01-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

I. Am. So. Excited.

In 10 days, I will on my way to DISNEYLAND, BABY! That's right. You know you're jealous.

I love Disneyland. I'm kind of embarrased about how excited I am to do. I mean, I am an adult. Not that you would know from my attitude towards Disneyland. That's one of the great things about the Land of the Mouse, though. It brings out the kid in us, and who doesn't love that?

I'm going with my dear friend Jessie, her husband Jason, and Jason's sister and nieces. His mom is coming for a day, too. Good thing Jason's family seems to like me. I'm meeting Jessie and Jason in Cedar City and we're driving the rest of the way. We'll be partying at Disneyland Friday and Saturday.

Like I said, before, I'm like a kid when it comes to Disneyland. I always go hoping to meet some good characters. I've met a few, but never who I wanted. I've met Cinderella,

Minnie Mouse

and Goofy.

This one was my favorite. I was at D-Land for a band concert, and we were back behind ToonTown. So was Goofy. He must have been on a break, because he was just chillin' back there, puffin on a ciggy. Have you ever seen Goofy smoking? It's funny. Trust me.

You know who I've always wanted to meet? Flora, Fauna and Meriweather, the good fairies from Sleeping Beauty.

They've always been my favorite. I didn't think they were at Disneyland, but apparantly I was wrong, because I found this picture:

Bloody paparazzi. A fairy can't go anywhere anymore.

Ah, Sleeping Beauty. I love that movie. My favorite part is when the fairies are trying to get ready for Aurora's birthday without magic. Fauna tries to make a cake. It's hysterical. And then they finally decide to use magic, and Flora and Meriweather get into this fight and keep changing each other different colors. Oh man, that cracked me up.

I'm excited for the rides and Disneyland too. Especially Space Mountain, as it was closed for renovation the last time I was there. So was Indiana Jones. I like that one, although the snake scares the bejesus out of me EVERY TIME. I hate snakes.

You know the best part of this all? I'm getting into the park for FREE. Ah, the joys of mooching off family.

Murky Waters

2008-01-09T15:50:00.000-08:00

WARNING!

At the risk of death, dismemberment and losing friends. I am about to wade into the twin murky waters of religion and politics. I don't mind if you disagree with me, just don't hate me or leave nasty comments.

First, I'm Republican. And I'm Mormon.

You guys still with me? Okay, good. We didn't need those others that just left anyway. The losers.

Second, I'm supporting Mitt Romney in the Republican primarys, and in the General Election, frankly. Go Mitt!

Doesn't he look Presidential? Don't worry, that's not why I'm voting for him. And it's not because he's Mormon, either, although I'll admit that it helps. I'm voting for him because I honestly believe that he's the best candidate. John McCain is just plain old, and I don't like the way he went more "moderate" after the last election. What that really means is that he lost the election, so he changed his philosophy to try to get voters. Rudy Guiliani is okay. He's my second choice. I don't have many complaints about him. Mike Huckabee is just a jerk. I'm sorry, but I don't want someone running my country who stoops to disparraging someone because of their religion. Not only is it rather un-Christian, but it's pretty un-American, too.

Let's face it: Huckabee is the one that made Romney's Mormonism an issue in this race, with his "I'm the Christian Candidate" crap, and frankly, it pisses me off.

The following is an excellent article written by Doug Robinison that appeared in the Deseret Morning News. It pretty much expresses exactly how I feel, so I'm reposting it here. I'll get much less worked up that way.

I missed the memo that said it's A-OK to make disparaging and often erroneous statements about Mormons.

Apparently, they are fair game.

Sure, these are hypersensitive times, when name-calling or perceived bias against any group will get you the Don Imus treatment, but you get a free shot with Mormons. You can say what you want about them with impunity.

If you denigrate a racial group, you're racist.

If you denigrate women, you're sexist.

If you denigrate Mormons, you're hip.

No one would openly suggest that you shouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton because a woman can't lead the country, especially an ornery one.

Nobody would dare say that you shouldn't vote for Barack Hussein Obama because he's black, or of Muslim descent, or because he has a name that sounds like a terrorist. One Clinton worker even apologized for alluding to Obama's use of drugs as a youth, so apparently it's wrong to disparage former drug users, too.

But nobody is shy about saying you shouldn't vote for Romney simply because he's a Mormon. It doesn't even register on the PC-O-Meter.

Just like that, 6 million Americans have been virtually disqualified from running for president. They've been rendered second-class citizens. They're foreigners living in America. They face a glass ceiling.

How un-American is that?

It would be one thing if most of those who oppose Romney did so because they disagreed with his politics or character. But Romney is one of the few candidates who has no character issues, a "squeaky clean" man who has a distinguished record of accomplishments, success and service, with no divorces, no affairs, no scandal. The only thing opponents can say about him is that he belongs to a church they don't understand.

A Harvard law professor called Romney the most qualified of all the candidates and "the perfect candidate for this moment in time." But there is his Mormonism, he noted.

Even the self-styled PC chief of police, Al Sharpton, once jumped in on the action, saying, "As for the one Mormon running for office, those who really believe in God will defeat him anyways."

Mormons don't believe in God?

For his penance, all Sharpton had to do was endure a family home evening in Utah.

It's open season on Mormons. A few days ago, Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Batard stated on ESPN and in the newspaper that part of the reason fired coach Cam Cameron failed was because he got stuck with a Mormon quarterback — not a rookie quarterback (which he is) but a Mormon quarterback.

"And you'll have a hard time finding a leader anywhere in sports who was as unlucky this year as Cameron," Le Batard said, noting that because of injuries, Cameron was forced to play "a United Nations huddle of a Mormon quarterback, Mexican receiver, Samoan fullback and some guy named Lekekekkkkerkker."

Now Mormons are foreigners?

Ignorance makes no difference. You can say Mormons have four wives or that they aren't Christian, and no one cares.

Imagine the uproar if Le Batard had written that the Dolphins suffered because they had to play a black quarterback for part of the season? Or a Catholic?

The Salt Lake Tribune has had a field day for more than a week since learning that Mike Leavitt and some of his like-minded cohorts met early in the morning to discuss Mormon theology and governance while he was Utah's governor. What if it had been a Bible study?

Nobody seems to mind when former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee says his religion "defines me." Or when Obama says his church guides "my own values and my own beliefs."
People worry that Romney will take his orders from his church leaders. They don't worry that Obama will take orders from his church, whose "10-point vision" includes two references to its "non-negotiable commitment to Africa," with no mention of America. Oh, and the church statement begins by noting on the Trinity United Church of Christ Web site, "We are a congregation which is Unashamedly Black."

It's a different set of rules for some out there. You can print newspaper cartoons disparaging Mormons. You can harass their families as they walk to their biannual conference with all sorts of foul language. When someone commits a crime, you can note the criminal's religion, but only if he's Mormon. You can make them a one-liner on Leno. Good luck reconciling all this with the paranoid political correctness that's so in vogue.

Meanwhile, the most politically correct presidential election field ever assembled — a woman, a black, a Mormon, a Baptist, etc. — has gone politically incorrect, but only when it comes to you know who.

One more thing: I have to commend Fox News (and there went the last of the liberal-minded readers). While they may not agree with Romney's religion or politics, everyone there has agreed that it shouldn't be an issue, Democrat and Republican alike. You've gotta respect that.

So what do you guys think about the Romney-Mormon issue (or non-issue, depending on how you look at it)?

A Zit I can Appreciate

2008-01-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome, 2008!

2007-12-31T23:18:00.000-08:00

I was watching the ball drop on some New Year's special (I don't even remember whose it was), and as the crowds at Times Square were laughing and cheering, the camera caught a particular couple: He was on one knee, proposing in the middle of the hoards of people. It touched me, and it reminded me why we celebrate the coming of a new year. A new year marks a new beginning, a time for us to start over, to leave the past behind and make ourselves and our lives better.

And so, dear friends, here are my wishes for you at the coming of this New Year.

May your souls be filled with joy, your hearts with love, and your life with laughter.

May this year be better than the last.

May you continue on the path of love, whether it involves finding your someone or cherishing the one you have.

May you set and meet worthy goals.

May you forgive yourself your mistakes.

May you strive to be better than yesterday.

May you show your love with words and deeds.

May you help someone in need.

May you reach for your dreams.

May you and yours be healthy and happy.

May your trials not break you and your heartache be eased.

May you have someone to lean on in through the rough patches.

May you find joy in the small things in life.

May you love and be loved.

Happy New Year! The slate is blank again - it's up to you to fill it in.

Venting Fruststration So I Can Get Back in the Christmas Spirit

2007-12-26T14:01:00.000-08:00

My dog just attacked another dog. Not just any other dog, either, but her best doggy-friend, my boss's dog. How does one respond to a situation like that? Especially a one like me, who is rather prone to freakoutage.

Here's what happened. I'm sitting at work, trying to make another 2400 labels because the last 2400 got all messed up, and all of a sudden I hear doggy yelping and screeching. So I look out the window, and they're in their usual wrestling position, only it's clear something has gone very wrong. I can't tell which is yelping, so I yell and them both, which usually gets them apart, but not this time. So then I think maybe their collars got stuck together somehow, so I run downstairs and get outside just in time to see my boss (who is my dad's partner, which is how he's my boss even though I work for my dad) walking out of the pen with his dog and a stick. "What the heck is going on?" I ask
"These dogs can't be together anymore!" he yells. "Your dog had mine by the throat and damn near killed him!" So he's yelling at me, which I understand, because it's an upsetting situation, but I don't respond to yelling well at all. And my dog is just sitting there inside the fence, just like nothing happened.

I go into the pen with her and check her out to see if maybe she's hurt or something, thinking that maybe he hurt her and she was defending herself, but no, she's fine. I start lecturing her, she she's just looking at me like, "What the heck are you talking about?" Then Lee (the boss-guy) comes out carrying Buddy (the dog victim) and Sadie (my dog) freaks and starts barking and growling!

So now my dog is an outlaw. Well, not really I suppose, but that's how I feel. I have to leave her at home now - not mandated by anyone, but it's the obvious appropriate reaction - and it's going to be as hard for me as it will be for her. It frustrates me that everyone seems to think she's a bad dog, when she's acutally very sweet. And I know you're thinking, "But she attacked another dog!" but this is VERY out of character for her. She's generally very submissive, and she and Buddy have been playing everyday for six months without a single incident.

Really, this is about me. Frankly, I haven't had the best couple of years, and I've been so lonely. Getting Sadie was the best thing I've done for myself, and I'm really attached to her. She pretty much goes everywhere with me. I'm having issues with my current situation, and I know this is going to end up being a big issue, and I'm going to end up crying. The most frustrating thing? If I talk to anyone about it, they'll tell me that I'm overreacting, and I'm taking things too personally, and I'm being irrational, all of which I already know. It just doesn't change how I feel. So I'm sending it out into the void in hopes that it will cure me of the need to vent and the anxiety, and I'll be able to go spend the evening with my family without freaking out. See? I'm already freaking out. I will not cry. Will. Not. Cry.

Does she look vicious to you?

More Nativity

2007-12-23T15:19:00.000-08:00

Eight Maids a-Milking

Nine Ladies Dancing

Ten Lords a-Leaping

Eleven Pipers Piping

Laryngitis S-U-C-K-S

2007-12-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

I've never really had laryngitis before. I've been hoarse, obviously, but never acutally lost my voice. And trust me, this time it's GONE. No matter how hard I try, all I can get out it a pathetic whisper. I've given up talking for today, which has made me realize what a chatterbox I actually am. This is hard!

Laryngitis. What a bummer. Just my luck that it would happen two days before I'm supposed to sing in church.

I could use your prayers, or your whatevers if you're not the praying kind.

Seven Swans a-Swimming

2007-12-19T17:09:00.000-08:00

Christmas Tagging

2007-12-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

I'm it! Jessie tagged me.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I'm all about wrapping paper. I love to wrap gifts. I did see this way cute bag the other day though, and had to resist buying it.

2. Real tree or artificial?

Growing up we always had a real tree, and I love it. I love the smell and decorating it - basically the whole thing. Now, though, I think that artificial trees are just so much more cost effective and convenient.

3. When do you put your tree up?

I always wanted to put up the tree way before my parents did. I'm a first week of December kind of girl, and my parents are week before Christmas people.

4. When do you take it down?

We always took ours down on New Year's day. I've been known to leave mine up until February (when I was in college).

5. Hot Chocolate or apple cider?

Hot chocolate all the way.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

One year my brother won some money in the lottery and he bought me a Barbie car and boat with a trailer. That was the coolest present ever - plus it was the biggest package.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene?

Yes, I bought it in Stewart Island, New Zealand. It was ridiculously expensive, but I love it and to me it's invaluable.

8. Hardest person to buy for?

My brother-in-law. I NEVER know what to get him. Neither does my sister, acutally.

9. Easiest person to buy for?

Felicia. I know her so well, I'm always coming across something and thinking, "Felicia would love that!"

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received?

I can't think of one, but one year my very "au-naturale" sister got a giant bottle of hairspray.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Mail. Email cards are lame.

12. Favorite movie?

It's a Wonderful Life. I watched it for the first time last year and bawled my head off. Seriously, runny nose, choking sobs. I was almost recovered, but the the angel got his wings and that set me off again.

13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

No way. I'm not really a re-gifter. I like finding the perfect gift too much.

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Pine nuts and fudge. Not together.

15. Clear or colored lights?

I'm a big fan of colored lights, especially on houses. There are these new colored icicle lights that I LOVE. I'm all for white lights on trees, though.

16. Favorite Christmas song?

O Holy Night or The First Noel.

17. Travel or stay home?

Either, as long as I'm with my family.

18. Can you name all the Santa's reindeer?

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Ruldoph. I have an album with this guy reciting "T'was the Night Before Christmas" to music, and he skips Cupid. It drives me nuts. What's wrong with Cupid? Does he have something against Cupid?

19. Angel or Star?

Angel, but it has to be a classy one.

20. Favorite Christmas memory?

Playing poker with my family and the "ghost" of John, and the look our foreign exchange student gave us when we wouldn't let her sit in his chair. I love my family. We're such freaks.

I tag Sara, Laurel and Esme.

Four Calling Birds, Five Gold Rings and Six Geese a-Laying

2007-12-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

I'm clearly not very good at this everyday thing. Sorry.

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Judging a Book by Its Cover

2007-12-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

I was reminded of the truth of an old adage "don't judge a book by its cover" yesterday (that only applies metaphorically, by the way - you can totally judge an acutal book by its cover). There is this man that attends my church, and I have been rather impressed by him since I moved back home. He's a very rough-looking man. His hair is cut short, he has a beard. He had pierced ears and occasionally wears earrings to church. He has several tattoos on his arms; one on each forearm, so they're visible when he is in shirtsleeves. He usually wears a nice suit that fits him well, but it looks unnatural on him. Let's just say that if I didn't know him, I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley.

Here's where the lesson comes in: This is one of the most gentle, loving men I have ever met. He's married and has four kids, only one of which is his. The older kids use his name, even though they haven't been legally adopted. No one knows where their dad is, so he can't relinquish parental rights. I have seen this scary-looking man play with his wife's hair and stroke her cheek during meetings. I've seen him cuddle his 10 year old daughter on his lap. I've seen him drop her off and activity with a hug and several kisses. The entire family is at church every Sunday, and if I didn't know that the older kids weren't his, I would never guess.

The moral of this story? If the "book" is a person, don't judge it by the cover. You never know what goodness is living inside the pages.

Three French Hens

2007-12-15T18:12:00.001-08:00

Two Turtle Doves

2007-12-14T18:25:00.000-08:00

A Partidge in a Pear Tree

2007-12-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

There are two traditions in my family regarding The 12 Days of Christmas. When I was young, my mom and I would choose someone who we felt needed a little boost around Christmastime, and we would leave a gift on their doorstep everyday. They were usually small things, but the people appreciated the thought. I couldn't think of anyone to do it for this year, and I'm a little short on funds, so I can't give 12 gifts, so I thought I would gift you all for the 12 days.

The other tradition we have revolves around a nativity set. We've had the same set for years. My dad made a stable to house all the figures, and he would put out a new one every morning. Each day I would race into the living room to see which new figure had appeared that day. This year, I'm doing the same thing for you! And so . . .

On the First Day of Christmas:

Two pieces today, since they're both background.

One Finger

2007-12-13T14:24:00.001-08:00

I found a fun new blog today - Vintage Thirty, written by Tootsie Farklepants. Yes, it's the coolest name ever. I was inspired by Ms. Farklepants (who shared her favorite commercial here) to share my own favorite commercial. Ready? Here we go!

Save Holland. Hahahahahaha! Dang that's funny.

German Pancakes

2007-12-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

Here's a recipe for one of my favorite lazy morning treats.

3 eggs
1/2 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons melted butter

Coat large cast iron pan with oil. Place pan in oven to preheat. Heat oven to 450 degrees. Whip eggs with french whip until well mixed. Combine flour and salt (original recipe says to sift, but I never do). Add flour and salt to eggs in four additions, beating just until smooth after each addition. Add milk in two additions, beating slightly after each. Lightly beat in melted butter. Pour batter into cast iron pan (carefully!) and bake for 15 minutes at 450. After 15 minutes, reduce heat to 350 and bake for 10 more minutes. DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR! Top with syrup and powdered sugar and enjoy!

German pancakes are my favorite, and they're so easy to make, but they make you look like a fabulous cook. Look:

However, take note of the all caps "DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR." Don't do it. Not ever. Your pancake will fall and it will cook funny. Just trust me.

If you don't have a cast iron pan, you should buy one. Just kidding. Well, actually, you should, since cast iron pans are good to have, both for cooking and for weapons. The point is that you don't really need one for this recipe. You could do it in a glass cake pan, but if you do, don't preheat the pan with the oven, and you'll have to cook it at 450 for 25 minutes instead of 15. Still cook it for 10 at 350 though.

Here's some more advice. When pouring the batter into the pan, be very careful. If you're not, you might accidentally touch the very hot pan handle and end up looking like this:

In case you can't tell, that's my arm, and the nasty red streak is an incredibly painful burn.

Also, this doesn't really feed that many people, so if you're feeding more than four, you should probably double it. Don't worry about using a bigger pan or anything - they'll just be thicker.

So, grasshoppers: mix, bake and enjoy! Carefully.

Cleaning, Exercise and Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie

2007-12-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

I cleaned my bedroom, bathroom and car on Saturday. It was pretty gross. Actually, the bedroom wasn't so bad at all, once I put away the clean clothes and washed the rest. I also had to wrap presents because they were starting to pile up. The car wasn't so bad either - Windex wipes are my best friends. It was the bathroom that got me. It was dirty. Like, really dirty.

I won't go into too much detail because, well, I'm embarrased, and I don't want to send Jessie into cardiac arrest (she's kind of a clean freak). The first problem is that the counter in the bathroom is this really pretty grayish marble. It always looks clean. On one hand, that's great, but when you're cleaning it, it's just gross. The second problem is that my bathtub is made of this weird plasticky material, rather than porcelin. Stuff sticks to it easier, and it's a lot harder to get off. I really won't go into detail about that. Suffice it to say that there was enough gunk to look like a tiny male cheerleader. Tough little guy, too - it took some serious scrubbing to get it off. Actually, I ended up on my hands and knees in the bathtub.

Things I learned from my cleaning experience:

I'm more devoted to cleaning every week, because it was just plain yucky.

Vaccuming up dog hair sounds easy, but it's not.

Laurel was right - the best time to clean a shower is when you're in it. I'll get the cleaning supplies with my clothes on, though, if it's all the same.

On to topic #2. I started an exercise routine today. Can you call it a "rountine" on the first day? I probably can't. Okay, then, I exercised today with the intention of making it a routine. I'm going to let you in on a secret: I hate the gym. Hate it. I loathe it. I waited until 2:00 to take my lunch because when I bought my pass, the lady said that was the slowest time of day. There were other people there though, so it was still too busy for my taste. It's not that I dislike exercise (okay, so I don't love it), it's that I hate doing it with other people around.

Exercise is supposed to make you feel better, right? Endorphins and all that? Well, I didn't feel better. I felt hot and sweaty and embarrased. My face looked like a rudabega, my head is still throbbing and everything looked a little blurry around the edges for a while. I'm hoping for improvement with consistancy.

Exercise. Blech. I'll do it, but you can't make me like it.

Finally, on to topic #3: letting sleeping dogs lie. In this case, it's literal.

My sleeping dog:

Notice how her nose is snuggled up to her back feet. That's my baby. She's a freak, just like her mama.

This is what she looks like awake, except without the glowing demon eyes. She acutally has very pretty brown eyes. One is blue around the pupil.

Things Every Woman Should Know

2007-12-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

My sister sent me an email containing this "poem," attributed to Maya Angelou.

Every Woman Should Have:

Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.

Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A youth she's content to leave behind.

A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

One friend who always makes her laugh, and one who lets her cry.

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A feeling of control over her destiny.

Every Woman Should Know:

How to fall in love without losing herself.

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder and when to walk away.

That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.

What she would and wouldn't do for love or money.

How to live alone, even if she doesn't like it.

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

Where to go - be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods - when her soul needs soothing.

What she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.

[Editors note: I made some changes in the format; mainly puncuation. The person who originally formatted it must have has some kind of obsession with ellipses.]

After doing some research, I discovered that this list was not actually written by Maya Angelou, but rather by Pamela Redmond Satran. It was originally published in Glamour under the title, "30 Things Every Woman Should Know & Have By The Time She's 30."

Here are some of the original items that are not on the previous list (read the complete original here).

Things a Woman Should Have:

Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

The belief that you deserve it.

A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.

Things A Woman Should Know:

How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.

The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.

That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

And because Maya Angelou rocks my socks, here's something that was written by her:

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou & Pamela Redmond Satran

Scrumdidilyumptiousness and Snow

2007-11-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

Here are my contributions to Thanksgiving this year. I'm not going to post the recipes because it would make this post forever long, but I might post them later.

Chocolate Marble Cheescake

Sooooo yummy.

Stuffing

This was my first attempt at homemade stuffing, and it turned out really well. I was quite proud of it.

And my failure: Lemon Supreme Pie

I've never had this pie not turn out. Usually it's really easy. For some reason, this time the lemon gel just never set. It was much prettier, but it got sloshed around in transport. It still tasted good, it was just more of a lemon syrup pie rather than a Lemon Supreme Pie.

And finally, I woke up this morning to this:

It's the first snow of the year, and I thought that it was quite appropriate at the beginning of the holiday season.

I also turned on the Christmas music today. I'll put it on my iPod tonight, but right now I'm listening to KOSY 106.5 out of Utah. All Christmas, all the time.

Happy First Snow Day!

A Day to Give Thanks

2007-11-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving Day, a day reserved for being grateful. They should call it Count Your Blessings Day.

The fun part of Thanksgiving is the yummy food - the turkey and stuffing, potatoes, green bean casserole, pie. In the midst of all the food and family fun, I think we often forget what Thanksgiving is all about: giving thanks. It's easy to do; I mean, the stores skip right over Thanksgiving these days. They go right from Halloween to Christmas. It's horrible, especially in a society that could stand to be a little more grateful.

So, in honor of the true meaning of Thanksgiving Day, here are some things I'm most grateful for this year:

1. A family that is rock-solid. I have five siblings and two parents who I know will always be there for me if I need them.

2. The knowledge that there is a God, and He is actively involved in our lives.

3. Modern conveniences. I can't say how grateful I am not to live in a time when I have to cook over a fire and pee outside.

4. Two amazing friends who love me unconditionally and put up with my weirdness. I love you!

5. The fact that I didn't have to go into debt to get my education.

6. Modern medicine. Without it, I would probably be one of the crazy aunts hidden in the attic.

7. That I live in this era, and not another. I often think how great it would have been to live in the 40's or 50's, but really, I'm glad I don't.

8. That my parents let me come back home and live, rent free. It's given me a chance to re-center myself, figure out what I want to do with my life, and save some money.

9. My dog. I know it's totally lame, but she's a loyal companion who offers me unconditional love. I'm never lonely anymore.

10. Art of all kinds. whether it's photography, painting, writing or video. It brings light and joy into my life that I've never found elsewhere.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends! I hope you remember some things you're grateful for today.

Pictures of Soup

2007-11-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

See the previous post for my rambings (not an exaggeration) about the second attempt at the mock-Olive Garden soup. Here are pictures:

Can you tell which is which?

Two Completely Unrelated Topics

2007-11-20T20:50:00.000-08:00

First topic:

For those of you who are interested in the recipe for Sorta Zuppa Toscana, I made it again tonight, and there was no red film this time. I did a couple things differently. First, I used the ground Italian sausage that comes in the flat saran wrapped package like a steak comes in, not the tube-y thing that some comes in. I hope you know what I'm talking about, because I just can't explain it better than that. Also, when we cooked it the first time, we let the soup sit a while before we added the cream because we weren't ready to eat it yet (and I think Mom forgot). I think that's most likely what made the difference. Also, she may have sauteed the sausage in the pot she used for the soup, which is more effective for doing dishes, but probably leaves some extra grease.

The point of that extremely long paragraph: If you use the right sausage, cook it in a separate pan and add the cream right away, the soup comes out as an almost exact replica of the soup at the Olive Garden. Oh, and I used kale this time, which was definitely better than the spinach.

Pictures coming tomorrow, when I get to work and can use my camera card reader I left there.

Second, totally unrelated topic:

I love the show Bones on Fox.

It's probably close to my favorite, although Grey's Anatomy holds a special place in my heart (I'm such a dork). The main character is Temperance Brennan (Emily Deschanel), a forensic anthropologist at the Jeffersonian Institute. She often consults for the FBI, working closely with Agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz). Booth gave her the nickname "Bones."

Dr. Brennan is flawed. Actually, she has some major issues. Her parents disappeared when she was 15, and she was put into the foster system. This probably explains her obsession with identifying lost victims. One of my favorite scenes is one where Bones passes on a night out with her co-worker and best friend, Angela, to identify one of several sets of remains of unknown soldiers from World War I.

Two of my favorite aspects of the show: One, Brennan is completely out of the loop when it comes to any sort of pop culture. She doesn't watch TV, she doesn't read magazines. Often, when another member of the team makes an allusion to popular culture, she's totally left out of the loop. It cracks me up. Especially since she's managed to write a bestselling novel. Go Brennan!

Two, I love the chemistry between Brennan and Booth. It's a real Mulder/Scully thing (and if you said that to Brennan, she would say, "I don't know what that means."). They have tons of chemistry, both professionally and personally. I keep waiting for them to get together, but I don't think they ever will.

My review? Two thumbs way up. Or on my sister's rating program: Friday Night Full.

P.S. - I know this post is horribly written, and I'm kind of embarrassed, but it's late and I'm tired, but I can't sleep, so I pretty much don't care. But I do apologize.

I love!

2007-11-16T14:53:00.000-08:00

My friend Jessie does this great thing where she posts 10 things she loves every Friday. I know that sometimes it's easy for her, and sometimes she has a hard time. I also know that I love reading them.

I'm going to copy Jessie. If we were in Junior High (and thank God we're not - you might think that was taking His name in vain, but it's a fervent prayer coming from me), this would be cause for major discord. Friend would turn against friend, brother against brother. It would be like the Civil War, but with glares and mean notes instead of guns and bayonets. However, since Jessie and I are Mature Adults (right, Jess?) , I'm sure she'll be fine with it.

And now, for your reading pleasure . . .

10 Things I Love (November 16, 2007)

1. My dog. Seriously. Taking her home from Wal-mart was the best spur of the moment decision I've ever made.

2. The fact that it's November 16, and we haven't had snow yet. Don't tell the people I work with; they'll yell at me. Something about water and not having a job.

3. Living in a place where someone can say, "And if you want a leg of lamb, I'll just kill one" and it's no big deal.

4. The road I live on. To get to town, I have to go down this windy hill, and it give a great view of town. Almost every time, I get this wonderful feeling of contentment.

5. That my best friend Felicia got a job in Grand Junction and moved back home, so now I get to see her all the time.

6. Daveto's. The most amazing Italian restaurant in the world. Just ask Felicia, she goes there all the time.

7. DVR. Need I say more?

8. The fact that I get the whole house to myself tonight. Dad's hunting, and Mom and Steve (who doesn't live with us, by the way) went to pick up Steve's new dog.

9. Picking out the perfect Christmas gift. There's nothing like it!

10. That I'm going to have another nephew!! Did I mention that yet? No? Well, thanks to my brother Sam and his wife Cara, I'm going to have another nephew.

And there is it. Dat-dah-dah-DAH!

Take This, Olive Garden!

2007-11-14T17:46:00.000-08:00

My fellow Olive Garden lovers, this is your lucky day.

BEHOLD!

A recipe for Olive Garden's yummy Zuppa Tuscana.

It doesn't look quite the same, but it takes almost exactly like the real thing.

1 Tbsp. Olive oil
1 lb. Italian sausage, casing removed, crumbled
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper, plus more to taste
2 1/2 cup water
2 (14 1/2 oz.) cans chicken broth
3 large russet potatoes, peeled, halved lengthwise, sliced 1/4" thick
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. freshly group pepper
1/2 bunch kale, stems removed, chopped
1 cup heavy (whipping) cream

Saute sausage in oil. Remove sausage to plate and set aside. Add onion, saute until translucent. Add garlic and crushed red pepper, cook 1 minute. Add water and broth, stirring to dissolve any bits on bottom of pan. Add potatoes, salt and pepper. Heat to boiling. Reduce heat, simmer about 10 minutes. Add kale and sausage, simmer until potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes. Stir in cream. Heat to simmer over medium heat, cook 2 minutes.

My variations:
*I used ground Italian sausage rather than the link kind. It's easier to work with. The finished product had kind of a red oil at the top, and I think it was from the sausage, so if you're a perfectionist, either use the link sausage or drain your ground sausage, really, really well.
*Kale can be kind of hard to find, so I used spinach. I actually liked it better. The texture was a little different, but the flavor seemed to add something. Just be careful not to overcook it!

Buon Appetito!

The Olive Garden version, not mine.

Gaaack!

2007-11-12T07:01:00.001-08:00

Words just can't express my horror. I wouldn't say it was a crisis, that's a little too dramatic, but it's definitely more than an occurrence. Traumatic. Yeah, that pretty much covers it.

It was a traumatic morning. I woke up and was getting ready to go to work. I was brushing my hair, trying to get my bangs to lay right, and I saw a little glint of something in the mirror. I took a closer look, and mild swearing ensued. I isolated the anomaly, took a closer look, and more mild swearing followed.

Yes, that's right. This morning, I found a gray hair. GRAY!! In my head!! GRAY, people! And not from my birth mark gray patch, either. An actual gray hair. The worst part is that it's not the first. A couple years ago, I found another little short one. I never say another one, though, so I could attribute it to some kind of fluke, like stress around finals time. Not this one. First of all, it was in a different place, and second, it was still sort of brown at the end, but gray at the root. Definitely a gray hair.

I showed Mom and Dad. Dad laughed at me, several times. Mom said, "Oh, don't worry about it. Talk to your sisters, they know what color to use." And then she laughed at me.

THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER! I'm 23, and I found a gray hair! I went to a baptism on Saturday, and the other Primary counselor told me that she found her first gray hair the other day. She's 28! I'm 23!

So give me the dirt. How old were you all when you found your first gray? Am I doomed to a life of premature aging and dying my hair, futilely trying to copy my natural color, which is FABULOUS, but who's days are obviously numbered?

And don't laugh at me. It's not funny.